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My son has made remarkable progress over the past year since he was diagnosed with PDD, going from a child who stimmed ALL day with no words or eye contact, to this loving, fun, starting to talk/sign little boy who only stims about half of the day! Although he makes great eye contact now, is starting to talk and is labeling EVERYTHING by pointing, it still gets to me when he stims a lot. I feel like it is a constant battle to get him to stop. I will take toys away that I KNOW he will stim on, but he just finds new things to stim with. He likes to pick up plastic plates and throw them on the floor, pick them up, and throw them on the table, etc., etc., over and over for hours if I let him. If I take the plates, he melts down, then finds other objects to do it with. Any ideas on how to encourage more independent play without taking all of his toys? He does well when we sit down to read, do puzzles, when he is in therapy, etc., just bad when I am cooking, doing dishes, whatever- just not able to engage him 24/7 you know? I never took things away cause like you said, they would just find something else. Or rock. I just tried to redirect the stimming. Like spinning wheels on cars, I drive the cars over their tummies, they loved that it tickled. We would also play the stop game. Spin spin spin ok STOP! and I would reach out and stop the object. Same with opening doors, spinning themselves, rocking. Nikolas was irritated at first but I would laugh so he would laugh and it became a game. It took some time but the stimming has slowed way down. With the cars it was almost as if they finally figured out what they were for and decided that was funner than spinning the wheels. Andrew doesn't stim at all now, Nikolas stims maybe 30 minutes a day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. This is from several hours a day when they were 2. When he does stim I don't make a big deal out of it. I let it go for a while especially if I'm busy, and then I redirect.I still take things away if it's feasible. I've tried to redirect 24/7, but it's just impossible. If I'm in the middle of something, I just have to let it go. But when I'm playing with him, if the toy becomes a stim and I can't redirect the concept of the toy, it goes away. I've been doing the same thing for over a year now and the tantrums have gone from hours to just seconds when I take something away. As for your son's plate (or any object) throwing, I completely understand. My son would do the same and it required me moving him to a completely different location (like the laundry room or backyard) to redirect. Now, when I know I'm going to be tied up with dinner or something, I pop in a video for that 30 minutes. My son will sit still for those and I feel better that he's not wandering aimlessly or stimming.That may be how he's learning about his environment, and/or how he has to perceive the world after working really hard on everything else. You don't have to stop him every second of the day, unless he's getting into something he shouldn't. Some time needs to be for that stuff, it's not like he's doing something obscene.My understanding is that stimming can be very pleasurable and also a good way to destress. Is that right gtto? I don't think it is a good idea to to just take the things away as your child will only replace it with another stim. Perhaps you can use it in a positive way. My daughter loves picking at plants and grass( so we lost a lot of garden) , she really likes to keep her fingers busy. so I have beads for her to thread and ones to click together and stickers to stick on paper. Every day I give her time after school to just wander around the back yard and pick at the weeds and grass. She will just pick, pick, pick away and pull the leaves apart. Sometimes she puts them in containers. ( I remember puting acorns in jars when I was a little girl). We had to put a fence around the vegie garden and fruit trees to protect them. Roslyn also loves swinging and spinning so she has a chair to spin in and a hammock to swing on. My son used to love touching Telstra ( a telephone company in Australia) concrete pits in the footpath so sometimes we went for walks and he did this.( he has grown out of it) He loves flicking switches and at 2 years old wouldn't leave the light switches and tv alone. We gave him toys with switches and calculators and a phonics board with buttons to push that taught him spelling, and numbers.He is now 7 and has progressed to using a computer and playing on the piano keyboard ( so he is still flicking switches). So all that exploring buttons and switches really paid off. Is there something you can give your child to toss around that wont do any damage or put together a basket of toys to figdet with while you cook? Sometimes I think it is good to just give the child time out to just be himself or herself and relax. You can show him how to play with toys "appropriately" but for him at the end of the day that kind of play can be just hard"work" if it is not something that gives him pleasure. Having 2 kids on the spectrum I have never been really that worried about the stimming unless it is destructive, dangerous or gets in the way of other things. I find it changes as they get older and that it can be sometimes directed into something more. But even if the stimming is just relaxing them or they are exploring thats ok too for me. I can tell when they are in a situation that is really stressing them as they start stimming to calm themselves down or because they don't know what to do next. That's when the situation has to be addressed not just take the stim away. You'll go nuts trying to eliminate stims 24/7 and Im not really sure its fair to the autistic individual. Liz I don't take away the toys that B stims on. Like Gtto said, I feel he needs this sometimes to deal with the world. I notice the stimming mostly now when strangers come over. He used to hide and do it in his room, but now he's able to handle being around strangers when I let him have his favorite pan lid to spin. He doesn't do it long. I tried all of the redirecting, taking away, buying things that are appropriate to spin, but none of that worked. He stayed in sensory overload until I stoped taking away. He is able to handle the world around him better when he has a lid in his hands.I totally understand your frustration, because I have been there, but as the others have said, stimming is something that your child does to handle all the sensory input of his world. When my son is driving me crazy with his stimming, I try to remember that. I can say that it has gotten better as he's gotten older. The stimming for us is Cole holding a small object, say a plastic bottle cap, in one hand and patting it with the other. He says eee-eee-eee. Unless I need him to come out of his reverie, I try not to take the cap away, but I do so,"Not E-E-E, honey, its A-E-I-O-U". He is really into reading these days, so he'll stop the annoying noise and start sing-songing the AEIOU. Question - are the experts SURE they stim to get some sensory relief or whatever? I swear he does it while he's wandering around daydreaming. If he is thinking about his book, the computer in front ofhim, toys, wrestling with his brother, he does not do it. Also, I don't notice him doing it more when he's stressed. Are we sure we're not supposed to take the object away? I am confused. What about giving him something similar but productive. Like throwing a ball in a small hoop. My guess is he doesn't know what else to do and is seeking input. My ds is 25 mths and also repeatedly moves or throws things...and bangs. Our OT suggested when he bangs with inappropriate objects on other inappropriate objects to give him a toy hammer and direct him to the play toolbench or drum or xylophone etc. Find what sensory need he is trying to fill and replace with one more appropriate. I was able to catch on to Sarah's stims right from the very first one and redirected it constantly into something more appropriate before it had a chance to get full blown.. I just saw her one day tapping on the wall with a spoon..then the table..then furniture... after about an hour of this my radar went off and got her drums to tap on and got her tap shoes to tap in ...it stopped it completely. When she hummed I got her into humming songs and singing with her. If she seemed to be spinning I would pick her up and sway and swirl with her and redirect her in joint activites like rolling on the floor together or ring around the rosies..If she liked jumping we got a bounce house so she could jump in it instead of the couch, and bed. We did rice/beans bin, water bin with squirt toys, playdough, bounced her on a big giant ball~a teether swing so she could go around and around and back and forth:) if you have a heavy blanket you can roll in up like a tight burrito (two people can get at each end and swing him while he is rolled up) ..she liked this for some reason? Some kids like the weighted vest and blankets. We hid the toys that lit up and served no purpose but to stim on and replaced them with lit up keyboard so she learn to play all the nursery rhyme songs this way. We closed doors to keep her closer to us and put a small little tyke gym in the livingroom so she would be motivated to stay with us instead of hiding all the time. Get a cheap inflatable pool and fill it with pit balls..interest him in educational videos like baby bumble bee or sesame street...Sarah learned from every sing song musical video out there especially Barney. Sarah also toe walked all the time for her first 3 years of life and we would touch her shoulder and state "Feet down" over and over till eventually I could just barely tap her shoulder and she would go down and she hasnt toe walked in years now. Our ABA therapists spotted stims better then me and would nip them before they got in the way of her learning..just by telling gently "quiet mouth" or " no humming" ..the behaviors just disappeared so fast that no one got a chance to notice them. It is hard to not let them do what gives them obvious pleasure and for the most part seem harmless..I didnt want to take her pleasure away and tried to come up with ones that gave her the same feeling but was more beneficial in the long run.. it was explained to me that if you dont redirect and replace them this way...one stim becomes two, then three & so on...~like layers on a cake and before you know it you have a child that has so many stims to breakdown and no learning can be done till they are under control or extinct..plus the negative impact it will have on them in school and out in public ...sad to say but true. Hope you find some good solutions here:) Best of luck:)I let Andrew stim... When he's happy, energetic, and excited...He runs around in circles and flaps his hands. When he's sitting or laying down he kicks his feet. As long as he's not hurting anyone or "bumping and crashing", I let him go. When he stims on a toy, I'll let him do it for 20 or 30 mins and slowly try to divert his attention. If he's sick or clearly tired/not feling well, I let him stim as much as he needs to. When he stims on a DVD or TIVO recording, I'll let him watch it several times in a row, but I don't let it automatically replay...He has to push the right buttons. My husband or I will often talk to him and interact with him and the TV show, like Dora. He seems to grow out of things and into others, but it always seems to be progression...Except when he's sick and temporarily regresses... Just wanted to tell you - I know EXACTLXy what you meanR has been making a TON of progress but I feel this past weekend he has been stimmimg CONSTANTLY I am racking my brains to find ways of ngaging him so he gets out of this phase The stimming might be because of the progress. I started having to stim almost constantly in public past a certain point because my brain was full because of school going so fast I couldn't keep up. These days I have to stim a lot of the time in order to understand my environment. If I stop stimming, I stop understanding, I can't process the information, everything turns into chaos. It used to upset me when I son stims too. Our neuropsych dislikes me even using the word 'stim' and asks that I only refer to his behaviors as 'preoccupations.' I do try to engage my son as much as possible. I have removed toys that he can stim with. I replaced them with other fascinating toys however. When I couldn't engage him 24/7 however I realized I needed some help. So I hired a highschool student by posting an ad for a 'playsitter.' I listed for her all the activities and games my son loves and asked her to just play with him for 2 hours a day. During these two hours I load my dishwasher, make dinner, clean up, fold laundry, etc....My son loves this playsitter's attention and she engages him totally. Our neuropsych has told us to not let our son engage in repetitive play if we can help it at all...he has told us to try as often as we can to woo him into games and activities and has said in time these will replace his repetitive interests. We, in fact, find that this is true to some extent. He enjoys more toys and games now. He plays more appropriately than he used to before also. Our neuropsych has also said, however, that sometimes the repetitive behaviors will increase...such as when we went on vacation, when our son started a new program, or when he was engaged almost constantly. He engages in repetitive behavior for comfort. So for comfort we replaced his repetitive behavior with other enjoyable relaxing activities. For him it's giving him a warm bath, a deep massage, singing to him, etc... My daughter isn't stimming like she did from ages 3-5. She still does, but for short periods now. WHen I am cooking, I give her something to do in the kitchen. It can be filling up the sink with water and letting her play with lots of spoons and cooking utensils, etc. My son is typical and loves to do that too. They make boats of of sponges and whales that each the ships out of large cups. I also have her color, read her flashcards, play with moon sand, etc when I am trying to do something. Sometimes she just needs to stim and I back off. If not she gets stressed out and is DETERMINED to do the activity she set out to do. Try to be flexible and pick which battles to fight. Its so different with each child, you just have to find what feels right for yours. Your son's stimming might not necessarily just be because you're not interacting with him. It might also be triggered by the sensory demands of the situation. For example, when you're cooking, the smells might be too strong for his delicate senses and he tries to balance that out with a different kind of sensory input that he's in control of (stimming). For my autistic son, who is almost 9, stimming is clearly sensory. It helps him hold his mental balance in challenging situations (like when he makes high-pitched noises when arriving at the noisy school playground). And it helps him recover his mental balance after a demanding day (like when he walks around on the furniture after he comes home from school). I try to give him more socially acceptable ways of getting those sensory needs met, for example, sending him outside to ride his bike and swing on the swings instead of climbing on the furniture. The following easy-to-read article includes a chart of stims associated with the various senses, and talks about re-directing rather than trying to stop a stim. The article was written about deaf-blind kids, but applies equally well to autistics. http://www.tsbvi.edu/Outreach/seehear/archive/mannerism.html #Chart I also recommend this sensory checklist to help identify under- and over-responsive senses. http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processin g-disorder-checklist.html Good luck with everything. Pretty much what GTTO said. I find, for myself, being able to spend time "stimming" allows me to relax and to settle myself, especially if I've had a stressful day. I find Tom is usually a lot calmer and happier if he's allowed to stim for a bit during the day as well. No child should have to be engaged 24/7, all children need a bit of time to do their own thing and though his stimming may seem odd to you it does make sense to him. Why not compromise and say he can have a bit of time stimming? Doesn't have to be all the time, but just for a bit each day and then you can try and redirect him. If he knows he's got that bit of time each day to stim he'll hopefully be ok. Nicky stims constantly, but his stims are not with objects, more with his hands and his running/skipping, and his noises. I'm so used to it now I barely notice it, but when he does it in public I notice OTHER people noticing it. I can redirect him just by calling him over to me, and I have tried to use other things (trampoline, crayons), but he loves to do what he does. It seems to make him content. [QUOTE=gtto]The stimming might be because of the progress. Amanda - thanks so much - that helps me to know that my son is not tuning me out - but that it helps him ( We never ever make him feel bad about stimming - In fact overall I and my DH dont understand why any parent would - but I just worry when I see him stimming more and engaging less - I wonder if that means he is regressing ) Ya'll, I'm still not getting it! I've heard that stimming serves to "de-stress" after a busy day...or that it is used to help process lots of incoming information. On the latter example from gtto, I'm trying to envision my husband taking a business call - he paces around the room like a caged lion. He has to pace to keep up with his thoughts. Is this a correlative example? The reason I ask is that sometimes Cole stims first thing in the morning. There's no stress yet! He's smiling as he does it, waiting on his waffle. I think he does it while he is happily daydreaming about something...sometimes you'll hear him talk about a movie, then tangent from it into a storybook, tangent again, etc. Cole picks up a small object and pats it between his fingertips, up close to his chin. He is also 6 1/2, with loosening teeth and growing teeth, etc. Sometimes I think the mouth thing is like teething. Help? Yes, LeAnne, I would say that pacing is a socially-acceptable, NT stim. You'll find others in this article about stimming (if you haven't already read it, I've posted it often). http://www.tsbvi.edu/Outreach/seehear/archive/mannerism.html #Chart Maybe your son is stimming to energize in the morning, or he might be stimming to help him stay patient and calm while waiting (least for my son, waiting is hard work, he needs closure and fast). It could also be that stimming enhances the pleasure of your son's thoughts. |
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