I feel at a disadvantage with dd being an only child and me not having much experience with kids. I truly don't know what is considered NT and what is part of the spectrum with some of her stuff. I guess it doesn't really matter but I am curious about a few things in particular. I thought maybe some of you here would be able to tell me if the following are spectrum behaviors or do all kids do it?
1) She has all these associations with things, places, toys, etc. So that whenever I take her to school she always says the same thing at the same place/time; or when she plays with one toy it's highly predictable what other toy "goes with that one". In fact, I recently found myself packing some toys for her for a trip and knowing all the associations myself (well, if I bring this toy, I have to bring that one, etc. etc.). It was kind of amusing.
She has rote answers (always the same) to certain questions or comments that "pass" with those who don't see her much, but are in fact said everytime in response. Like she knows something is expected of her and she has figured out somethings that will get people off her back. The rote answers have indeed gotten closer to appropriate so that's something at least. I'm pretty sure that's a pdd thing?
2) She gets on "kicks" or phases where we read the same book over and over at bedtime and naptime - but for months! Life could not go on if I tried to read another book. And if she does make a comment or veer from the usual lines of the book, then THAT becomes rote too and is said every night. And it's the same with certain "must have" toys and activities. Have to do them the same way, same time, same order, etc. for months. Then suddenly, it's something new for the next few months. I know NT kids like the same books and to see the same videos, etc. over and over, but for months and in same order, same responses, etc??
3) Also, certain people keep telling me that I'm "seeing things that aren't there" because dd is content to play alone for hours on end, reciting songs/tv shows/books, etc. I've been told that ALL kids play alone. Okay, great, but do they do it for hours on end (if left to their own devices) and recite things from videos? I think of NT "alone play" as more creative and making up scenarios with lots of running to Mommy to get her to play or at least tell her what they're doing. Just want to know because that one in particular bugs me, but if it's true that going off by yourself when there are others around to recite tv shows into your toys for hours is NT play, then GREAT, guess my dd is exhibiting some NT behaviors!
A lot of the behavior you have described can happen with NT children but not to the extreme that you are talking about. The video watching and books my NT children did do but each video or book didn't last months and months. The playing alone thing, and I think you hit it on the spot when you mentioned something about your child comming to mommy to interact. Even if there are no children around a NT child at a very young age will keep "checking" on you and bringing you toys to show you etc. Also playing with those toys appropriately. Also when other children are around...an NT child is more likely to not want to be isolated and interact with the others that are there. Anyway...just some thoughts. Take care,
Karrie
Yes it must be hard w/ only child and little to compare to. My problem is that, even though I have another child (4 yr old dd), she is so advanced beyond most other children that I always viewed her as abnormal lol. So w/ ds I just always assumed he was average as I could only compare him to Chloe, who at his age was speaking fully (could carry entire conversations), said abc's, counted to 15, knew shapes, colors, and haD a major sense of understanding. Sometimes it was eerie. Even now at 4 yrs old most people think she is 6 (she is really tall too). So even though I have 2 children, I'm STILL confused as to what is NT at times lol.
What you describe, to me, doesn't ring a bell w/ what I've seen my friends' kids do. I mean part of it probably could be a bit of an nt behavior, but the needing same things over and over and playing by herself for hours w/out even interacting w/ you at all doesn't sound quite nt. I could be wrong though.
My dd will go play by herself, but she is usually playing dress up and then she comes out to show me so she still interacts inbetween her alone play time. My son is so restless he just walks around aimlessly. He plays by himself at times, but he can't keep on one thing long and then just drives me crazy pacing. He will paly w/ dd, but only if she will join in his world of what he wants to do most times.
Just ignore what others say. Some may be trying to help alleviate your concerns (though I know it often just is annoying
Amber
Copyright Autism-PDD.net