We had Makenna's IEP today (her annual review and we just moved so it also was for placement in this new school setting). She IS doing very well at school - but needs work in social with peers (initiation especially), but it is so frustrating because she is a TOTALLY different kid at home. She has major behavior issues- meltdowns for no reason or associated especially with rigidity and perseveration and routine. She becomes very physical and i am 7 months pregnant in a high risk pregnancy and I guess i just feel........well, really invalidated about who Makenna (4 ASD- probably Aspie or very HFA) is. These meetings are really hard b/c the reality is that no one can really help you. The school only does school and if they hold it together and "perform" very well as many HF kids do- then who DOES help with who your child is at home and in the community?????????? The behavioral consultants cant seem to give me any ideas I havent tried, used consistently, etc. She is still the same kid with the same issues and I guess this little rant here is about me feeling very ALONE and sad about my reality as her mommy. Sometimes I am just so tired of her tantrums and I just cant even go there to "pick my battles" with her b/c she is so explosive. Sorry...... I guess this is more a vent than anything. Thanks for "listening".
Hey there PJ,
I know exactly how you feel. My son has alot of behavioral issues too. He is different in a school setting also. I get that "what are you talking about look from everyone when I discuss this issue with them" It really drives me crazy. This issue has been one of my biggest frustrations with his school. I have worked with a behavioral therapist and although he has responded quite well with time outs and consistancy he still becomes very physical with me and at the end of the day I am usually crying my eyes out.
Sorry I don't have any real advice for you, I am in the same boat.
I just wanted to let you know your not alone.
The school district is required to teach a child so that what that child learns can be generalized "across environments." That means a child who spells well in school should be able to spell equally well at home. Of course, that usually happens. But it ALSO means that children who learn to behave well in school have not actually reached that goal in their IEPs if they have not yet been able to generalize that behavior "across environments." Bring a video of your child to school. Ask for parent training to help learn to use the school techniques at home. What you are seeing is very common. Sometimes it's the opposite, but mostly kids behave better in school. School is structured. It is also not as emotionally "safe" as home, where kids feel totally comfortable being themselves. Even if their "selves" are sometimes difficult.