How fast they grow up | Autism PDD

Exercise is another important step in keeping them healthy.  He often goes for walks (with the neighbor's dogs), and when he can't do that, I have him exercise on our treadmill (bought for at garage sale),  and our health rider ( at a garage sale), etc.   When he was younger, garage sales saved my life as I could afford to shop and get things we needed, and even helped out my other children (now all grown) and grandchildren.

I'm amazed upon reading some of your stories, how much autistic kids are alike.  I.E., ear infections/antibiotics  (which we cured in a few weeks with a few tablets of mashed- up [between 2 spoons] Vitamin C along with a teaspoon or so of liquid or powdered acidophilous [found in most grocery stores] in his glass or bottle of milk). 

My Mark also was not able to stop wetting the bed until he was around 16.  I remember when he finally learned to go to the bathroom on the front side at around the age of 4,  as he could see and control that.  But, it took him a long time to understand what was happening on the back side because he couldn't see that.  Thank God that time is passed.

Other commonalities I find with autistic children is they don't do well in polluted environments; they often flap their arms and hands; they have trouble looking you in the eyes;  they often refer to themselves in the third person and get mixed up with other pronouns such as he/she/we, etc.;  they do all kinds of outrageous and embarrassing things a normal kid just wouldn't do; they have remarkable brain capacities in some areas while in other areas such as learning to tie their own shoes or being able to tell their right shoe from their left shoe they are forever helpless; they all love Disney movies; they like to soak in warm water; they're picky eaters; they are prone to stomach problems and throw up easily; they have a special bond with their parents, especially their mothers; they're without vanity or guile; they can't be trusted walking in traffic; and a thousand other ways!

If any of you need some help or advice in coping with the needs of your autistic child, or dealing with authorities who don't always see it your way,  please let me know and I'll do the best that I can to help you.

Hi Marge - and welcome!

Wow, I believe you deserve sainthood!  It sounds like you have an awesome son!  I'm sure we can all learn so much from your experiences.............I actually do have a question that someone like you can probably answer from a better perspective than people like me  who are just starting down this path.

Is there any advice you can give us on planning for our financial  future being parents of ASD kids?  My husband and I were just talking tonight about how we should probably rethink our plans regarding life insurance, wills, savings, etc. I hate thinking about things like this -but it makes sense to plan as much as possible. I would want Ansley to be taken care of if anything ever happened to either one of us.  The expense of therapies/treatments/schools is overwhelming!!  It would be very helpful to me to get advice from someone who is at your stage of life.   Also, I was wondering if there were any choices you might have made (or made differently)  that would help us.  Thanks so much your great post!

Dear Amy: Thanks for your inquiry about help with your financial future and especially in consideration of your daughter Ansley.  In my younger years, I did pursue a career in financial planning and received certificates of completion in many areas.   I do not really consider myself in any way able to give you professional financial help in this area.  However, if it were me, I would set up an irrevocable trust that upon your accidental or natural deaths, all monies and  property, etc. would be allocated to benefit Ansley to last for her lifetime.  I would also designate who her caregiver(s) would be (with their permission of course) plus her education and living conditions.  This could change as children grow up and things change.  I would keep this current and up-to-date as possible, because upon your untimely demise, (it is my understanding) this kind of trust cannot be changed.  I would also stipulate that she could not--at any time--be put in a nursing home or institution.  Plus, I would allocate a generous  monthly fee  be paid to the caregiver (so they won't be anxious to quit).  I would also appoint an overseer to see that everything goes according to your wishes.  Stocks are probably the best investment mode plus a hefty insurance policy or two.  And, I would probably make sure that other family members were helped out financially in increments, and were familiar with the irrevocable trust and your wishes.  I would also stipulate that upon the beneficiary's untimely death, the remaining funds be given to a charity(ies).   

Hope this helps.     

Thank you for all the great advice - I had never thought of stipulating that she would not be put in a nursing home! I'm so glad you told me that...I would want to make sure that never happened to her.  I know she's young, but I feel like we need to plan our $$ future around the possibility that she may not ever live independently from us.  Your tips really helped... We're about to go ahead and increase our life insurance policies at least.  It really changes everything when you have a child with special needs. 

Thanks again!