moving up from kindergarten to 2nd grade!
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Has anyone else here had the school wanting to move your kids up?? I feel she is socially so behind and the school is thinking she just needs to be with older kids that are more mature. I hate that she had to be there for hours, she is really attached to her K- teacher and I know this really bothered her but she couldn't put it in words. She will be 7 on 7/27 when she starts first grade so if she did go to 2nd grade she would be one of the youngest ones there. Any advice?? I cant believe I am stressing over this so much! Shelley - Good news, bad news, huh ;) I think Sarah would do better with older kids, but I've actually *known* some real people in real life that were advanced in grades, and they ended up not liking it after a while. These people were very young compared to their peers, though. DId you consider Montessori? That was my first suggestions, but I don't know if you read it. I think that would be great for Sarah - having kids of *all* ages and being able to work at her own pace and within her area of interest.
SEE -- THAT is why Iwant to hold T back in Kg an additional year. If not NOW, when? When she and her chums are old enough that everyone ASKS her why she was held back, in the hallway? Or makes fun of her for "flunking?" I think the school does not like the idea of us keeping her back ... but she is so much more comfortable, with younger kids! Why add to the stress of an already-demanding academic agenda? Shelley, I agree with you on your concerns about the social ability. I know of an NT child who was advanced because of academics but who couldn't cope maturity wise thus had to be pulled back to the initial grade. Is it possible to challenge Sarah academically while she stays with the same group of kids? That was the solution that eventually worked for the child I know. He stayed behind did very well academically, always did Math and several courses ahead of grade level. Seemed like one of the pack leaders in grade. I have heard good things about Montesorri if mine wasn't so restless I would consider it. Good luck. Concernedpa. Hi Shelley,All that really stressed her out  . I was never one who agreed with "skipping" grades. I feel that if a child is ahead academically, that it may not mean socially, nt kids included. Can her 1st grade teacher give her a little more challenge in her class when she starts? Maybe even an after school academic program or a "honors" type club. I know they typically don't have "honors" clubs in elementary schools, but there are similar clubs. In my son's classes in grade school, they had a math "dimensions" club, for those math whiz kids (mine was not one of them... ).Just some ideas. nakama Thanks for all the replies:) They are in process of assessing her for leap program for next year which is the talented and gifted here so she will be more challenged in academics. Sarah loves her teacher and she thinks she is doing so well..probably too well Fred, my only concerns for Montessori is her consultant feels if she is allowed to follow her own interest she might have a hard time transitioning to other things as well as not having enough social interactions...but my friend's little girls both love it and does very well having mixed kids with them. I am just so confused~ I was also told yesterday that the speech therapist has just now decided to put Sarah with nt kids for her 2x a week speech(15 min. Shelley re: Montessori, mine was in a Regia Emilia preschool (sort of like Mont. but more collaborative in nature). She was not at all prepared by that environment for the demands of conventional public school kindergarten. The more structure, the better for spectrum kids, is what I keep reading!
The advanced academics certainly is good news. But your daughter also did a very good job at communicating to you how she feels about the skipping idea. I would have freaked out too, but it sounds like your daughter handled herself very well. Also, it appears that the school means well, which is a good thing ... as long as they listen to your views since you know best. I agree with the other posters in that academically advanced work can still be given to Sarah in the first grade. Although I wanted my late-birthday son to start kindergarten early for the academics and the services, I don't know if I would ever want him to skip. I want him to get advanced academic work, which he is capable of completing. But I also want him to try to learn to do well in a regular classroom. I didn't know schools were still into skipping either.
Boy Shelley - Great news she's doing so well academically, however (big HOWEVER), we all know social is what will make or break our kids as they get older. It's a proven fact that kids who are extremely bright still have a lot of difficulty as they become adults because they were not given the right social supports when they were younger. Many of these individuals can't even hold a job because they don't understand the social arena. The social arena is only going to get more sophisticated as Sarah advances in school, and girls in general advance more quickly than boys in this area. If I were in your shoes, I would not agree to move her up a two grades. She would probably do fine academically, but I think the other kids (particularly the girls), "would eat her for lunch" socially (unless the school was willing to put a lot of social supports in place, which quite frankly most school aren't equipped for or trained to do). Of course, this is just my opinion and based on how I would personally handle it. Sounds like you're doing a great job of continuing to work on the social issues with Sarah, but don't let the school system distract you from keeping your eye on the ball in this area. Teachers are notorious for focusing much more on academics than social, so it's your job to help bring balance into the picture. We know Sarah can handle the academics, so lets make sure they set her up for social success as well. Remember, according to IDEA the purpose is to prepare our kids for further education, employment, and independent living.....strong social skills are a critical component of all three. I have to agree with shenom here. Is it possible that they are mistakenly assuming that she is *more mature* because of her academic capability along with the fact that she is so quiet? Are they planning on sticking her in 2nd grade and just assuming that socially she will do fine without supports because thats where THEY feel she belongs? Our children need to be guided socially and taught these things. SO I say.....Gifted program...YES......2nd grade...NO Just my opinion. Karrie I agree with everyone here. Definitely get her work that is more challenging for her, but socially, I think putting her in 2nd grade would not be good for her. Thanks...she is still my baby in so many ways and I see today girls at 3 & 4 who are socially more vocal than her and can't imagine how difficult social will be in 2nd grade..I think they feel that by being with older kids she will have more in common but I don't think so..she has a hard time just with k-kids much less older ones. I am not sure they understand how far her deficits go socially as they only see her in structured settings and not much attn. paid to her at recess where she can magically blend in but not talk or participate at all but alongside them just fine:) Thanks again:) Blessings, OH WOW. Thats a tough one.I know for a fact that Gage does seem to do better around my older niece Chloe, and also around girls. You might want to consider it. I just dont know though - would she be expected to do 2nd grade work or 2nd grade work with an aid, pulled out for special ed classes? I just picked up Sarah from school and her teacher tells me "Oh Sarah told 2 teachers today she had such fun in 1rst grade yesterday" and just looked at me like I was crazy and making it up that she didn't want to go back and then made the statement "I just hate that she wont get to do this because I think it will help her so much!"... I am so confused because Sarah on the ride home stated she still doesn't want to go into the first grade class no more...maybe if I can get the teacher to do this much more slowly... an hour at a time and the beginning of first grade slowly get her in 2nd grade an hour at a time..maybe she would be okay but I need to talk to her teacher about..surely if they can do this in kindergarten at the end of school year they should be able to do this in the beginning of the new school year when she starts first grade. We shall see. I am so stressed with this..I guess change doesn't suit me well at all either  no, no, no. Trust your daughter and her reaction!I really hate how I try so hard to explain Sarah and her need for routine, and not able to express herself well and it gets interpretted as all me and I am preventing her from progressing or giving her what she needs..makes me sad that they have no clue~she needs a friend but moving her up to 2nd grade is not the best they could do..I have begged them to give her a buddy for lunch or recess to no avail...I dont know how I am going to survive her next 12 years knowing the teachers don't think anything is wrong with her Thanks foxl...just you stating that in the way you did I don't want to move her at all. Sarah's feelings comes first always:)Maybe you can establish a rapport with NEXT YEAR'S teacher, and discuss your feeling of that, with her ... ? THAT is so unprofessional!!! Yeah, the friends thing -- that is SO IMPORTANT. That is my biggest worry, for T. And NOBODY taught me any social skills and I coulda used em ... I am in process of having her evaluated for "Leap program" soon and will address social skills with this leap teacher and find what options I have for her. They have no social groups at all at this school. The school has let me down so many times with unexpected bombs that I feel like an idiot constantly bombarded. The communication is nil and all I get is "she doing great!" but she has not one friend, does not talk to kids on playground at all and has a really horrible time expressing her thoughts without it sounding very choppy and mumbling and yet they see her as perfect They see me as a neurotic mama holding her back on purpose & think moving her up to 2nd grade is going to cure her somehow~ I called our BCBA and she will come up with a plan of action Shelley that sounds like a terrific approach, to me! I am following along and learning ... |
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