Are your kids different at school? | Autism PDD

Yes, Sharlet's behavior is usually a lot better and more consistent when she is at school. However, she is having a very difficult month, and it's started to show at school too now. The last few times she has been, she has been completely uncooperative and refused to take part in any of the routine activities she used to, and lots of meltdowns and outbursts. Allegra39178.9626157407

Hi I'm new to this site. Just out of curiosity, I am doing a unformal study on kids an videos.

Can you please respond if your child was a Baby Einstein video addict as a child as mine was?

Sam's behaviour can vary alot. If he is relaxed and feels safe with the
people he's around, then he can let it all hang out... which can be very
messy! If he is stressed in an unfamiliar situaltion he can be very
compliant, untill he's out of that environment and back somewhere safe,
where he will meltdown spectacularly. As he becomes more secure in a
new environment he can go from co-operative and compliant one day to
boundary testing and limit pushing the next, which can shock people.
(often they don't seem to believe me when I try to warn them)
School is structured and predictable, the rules are consistant, and the
consequences clear and he's finished testing all the bounderies, so he's
usually much better at school.
I've been trying to make our home life more structured, but it seems hard
to balance enough structure to make Sam calm and relaxed against
enough structure to make me anxious and defeated, a failure.
I also struggle with structure because unexpected things happen, and
sometimes plans change, and I hate the meltdowns when we have a plan,
and it gets changed and he cant handle it. He can definitly be the classic
Jeckle and Hyde.

I would love the opportunity to observe T over a day in class, myself!

This is what makes (educational) diagnosis so confusing -- T's SLP works with her in small group, and said she does GREAT. I had pushed for her to BE in speech b/c I instinctually wanted someone to "keep an eye on her," last fall! But see, that actually did not help my cause!

Today I had a very interesting experience. As a part of the process to determine C's placement for 1st grade I've been observing various options (mainstream class v. special classes). Today I spent 90 minutes observing C in kindergarten. He is in a mainstream class of 17 children, half-day program, with a 1:1 aid and pull out of speech, ot, etc.

What I observed is that when the kids were in small group activities, C's behavior was more typical of what I would see at home. For example, he sat with 3 other children and the teacher at a round table and did an activity with letter sounds and words, and then they played a game of "sight word bingo." He attended well and did a great job. He was a little fidgety and a few times the teacher had to call his name to remind him it was his turn as he occasionally got distracted touching his cup of bingo chips. In my mind anyone observing this scene with no prior knowledge of C would probably just see a kid that was a little fidgety but otherwise very typical.

Large group activities were a whole different ballgame. For example, at library time, the library teacher did an interactive reading exercise with all 17 kids sitting on the rug. C kept moving to the back, did not look at the teacher, did not raise his hand, and frequently had to be redirected by his aide to stay with the group. It was painful to watch, as the book was on birds and the teacher asked many questions that I know he knew the answer to but he was just completely checked out, humming to himself, laying on his stomach instead of "pretzeled up." (Ironically, at the interactive bird show at Animal Kingdom at Disney last week he was totally engaged, raised his hand whenever the presenter asked a question, and was even picked to go up on stage and participate in a demonstration.) In contrast to the small group activity, anyone observing C in library would clearly recognize that C clearly has issues beyond the typical fidgety 6 year old boy.

I think the small group environment I observed and the dynamic between the teacher and the kids was very similar to how we interact at home, therefore I saw the behavior and performance that I am used to seeing at home. The large group situation is something very different than what we have at home (thank god!!), and is definitely more difficult for him to handle, and it does not bring out his best behavior or academic performance.

This definity gave me some insight into the difference between home and school stuff that I'd been struggling with. It's one thing to have the teacher tell you what happens, it's a whole different thing to see it so clearly with your own eyes.

It's pretty normal for my son to function better in one environment versus the other. When he's doing well at home, he's usually struggling at school and vice versa. Overall, my son has a much tougher time at school, mostly because it's so structured and regimented. While he depends on a schedule and the predictability factor to function, he really struggles with the strict rules at school. He has a lot of melt-downs at school and a lot of behavior problems that don't typically occur at home (we have issues at home too but not to that extreme). My son is very much how you described yours at school. That's my boys too Kristy. The social worker was shocked when I described them at home. Other mother's are always shocked too when i mention the boys are most likely autisitic. When we took them to DH's company Christmas party they were truly the best behaved kids there. But I don't understand what happens at school to change all that. Sometimes I wonder if we expect too much of them. They have been going to school 5 days a week all day since they turned 3. We don't ask NT kindergartners to that, but we ask our kids to? Sometimes I think he's just tired.

Yes. This is what I see for my C:

Speech/language issues are consistent across all environments. I would describe as moderate impairment at this point in both expressive & receptive.

Social issues at home I'd describe as mild (great eye contact, very engaging, plays appropriately with twin brother) but at school I would describe as moderate (so-so eye contact, difficultly playing with peers at age appropriate level).

Stims at home are mild (mostly verbal stims of self chatter, humming) but at school are more pronounced (some spinning)

Overall behavior/compliance at home is much better. At school he tends to protest more when he doesn't want to do something. Also, at home he sits quietly and works very carefully on his "work" (coloring pages, number sheets) but at school he tends to rush through things.

C definitely presents as "more autistic" at school. Outside of school in environments like playgrounds, birthday parties, play dates etc., most other moms are shocked if I mention C is autistic. Though at school it is much more obvious.

My son actually does better at school, hes been at his pre-school for 2 years now with the same class and teacher and aides and there just now seeing him stimming

He will talk more at school, behave better and listen more, at home he stims all the time, has fits a lot and talks less, it's very frustrating for us. He will do things for other people but when it comes to me or dh forget it.

Completely!! In fact, during Nick's initial evaluation with the psychologist, she saw him first alone (with me) in her office over about 2 hours. At that time, she thought he was delayed, more PDD-NOS characteristics.

Then she saw him in school.

She said it was like watching a different child. No communication with other kids, would not particate at all, no eye contact, uncooperative. That was when she realized he fit more into the category of autism.

He stims a lot at home, and I am told stims even more at school. But here he listens to me, he will play with his brohers, occassionally he will have eye contact.

Than at home? I had a meeting today with the social worker and we came to the conclusion that the kids i see at home and the kids they see at school are totally different. Nikolas tantrums all day at school and refuses to cooperate. He was doing really well until 6 weeks ago when his dad left (military) and his teacher decided to start making more demands on him. He is a very stong willed kid and he refuses to cooperate 90% of the time. And he doesn't play with the other kids at school. At home he's the opposite. He seeks kids out at the playground. Melt downs happen but they aren't even daily. But then I know how to handle him too. We sit here and play puzzles and games and do fine motor skill things for hours, he totally resists her. He will isolate himself, but whenever I start to worry he will come out of his corner and plop down in someones lap to be tickled. Andrew on the other hand is perfect at school and yells nonstop at home. I don't know what to think. They are exact opposites. And I don't know how to help Nikolas with his school issues. I think Andrew's in attention. Since we moved to Florida his dad is never around and I think he's yelling to get my attention. Its hard alone with 3 little kids.

OMG, YES! TOTALLY different!

DD is socially NORMAL at home so when I heard at EIGHT MONTHS INTO HER SCHOOL YEAR how she was behaving at school, it was an enormous shock!

As the kindergarten year wears on, however, we both believe we are having more meltdowns at home. Wondering how long it has been going on at the school ... NO communication from her teacher to us, on it!

My kids is night and day at school, daycare and home. Like others have said if he is doing well at one usually the others are not so good.

[QUOTE=Linda11567]That's my boys too Kristy. The social worker was shocked when I described them at home. Other mother's are always shocked too when i mention the boys are most likely autisitic. When we took them to DH's company Christmas party they were truly the best behaved kids there. But I don't understand what happens at school to change all that. Sometimes I wonder if we expect too much of them. They have been going to school 5 days a week all day since they turned 3. We don't ask NT kindergartners to that, but we ask our kids to? Sometimes I think he's just tired.[/QUOTE]

I have to come back and remark on this, Linda. I think T would have remained unrecognized, if WE HAD NOT STRESSED HER WITH SCHOOL. She was in a very unstructured preschool and simply ignored anything that was beyond her ability.

Our autism coach has not observed T in the classroom yet, but interviewed me, yesterday. Based on my description alone, I am pretty sure she would blow me off ...