Tobi does not go to school on Fridays.. Usually we have an OT student that takes him out for the morning, however she is not here this week.. He has spent the morning screaming for things, kicking his brother.. I am in tears.. Nothing works with him.. I have asked the school for suggestions and I get told really?? He does not act like that here.. This child is a handfull at home,, he won't sit and eat meals, he won't listen, wont answer when we ask him questions.. He is verbal and is hearing is perfect.. I need suggestions.. I have tried asking other parents however there response, well it would be much easier if he was your only child.. UGH!!!!!!!! Thanks for listening to me vent this morning..
I know where you are comming from. I am having simular issues with Adam right now. THe school simply does not see any of the behaviors that I do at home so I am left alone to deal with them. The biggest issue right now is the relations between him and his little brother (19 months). I am doing my best to not have a nervous breakdown...lol and I'm trying to be consistant in the method that I have chosen. Positive reinforcers for good behavior and I know that a lot don't agree with this but I put my son in time out when he is hitting or kicking his baby brother. That or I physically restrain him from hurting anyone. I feel that there has to be a concequence for his actions. He see"s it as the same thing though pretty much. Anyway...I have to take him to the bus stop just wanted to say hang in there and just know someone out there knows what you are going through. Take care,
Problems sitting at the table are often sensory in nature. My son has difficulty with food smells and the sights and sounds of the people around him.
For help with tantrums/meltdowns, I highly recommend that you read this article about why they occur and what to do. I wish I had read it years ago, so I wouldn't have had to learn these lessons the hard way.
His having trouble answering questions is probably an auditory processing problem. He has a hard time catching what people says, processing it for comprehension, and putting his answer in words. Here are some things that worked for us:
- Visuals - for example, when asking him what he wants for breakfast, show him the package of cereal and the loaf of bread.
- Establish attention first - Don't jump right in with your question. Make sure you have his attention.
- Be patient. Slow down. Pause.
- Model the answer you want. "Where are you? Say here I am!"
- Use simple language. Fewer words. We sometimes combine modelling and simplified language and ask questions like for example "cereal yes or cereal no?"
Four year old kids are bigger and thus harder to control than an uncooperative or upset toddler. I remember it as a difficult age, but it does get better with time and better understanding of sensory challenges and other autism issues. Good luck with everything. I'll be thinking of you.
I go thru the same thing with Grant too. When I talk to the school about this, they do not believe me and tell me well he does not act like that here. Sometimes I too, feel alone in this. He has two brothers and will beat them both up. So while I have no real advice, You are not alone in this and I completely understand what you are going thru.
JanineThank you all so much,, I am so thankful that I found this board..
I'm so glad you brought this up! My son comes home from school and he gives me such a hard time. He's been there for about two months now and since then, he has some new behaviors that he didn't have before. The big one is running away and excessive silliness/laughing when I ask him to do something. His teacher says he doesn't show this at school, so I don't know what it is. I got an ABA book for parents and that's what I'm trying to use right now! I have to constantly do hand over hand and be very firm with him. Maybe it's possible that the change is hard for them to deal with. I don't know, but it is frustrating when you can't figure it out.My oldest child self potty trained if you can believe it, never had a single accident, doesn't wet the bed, etc. My youngest is really giving me a run for my money. He just turned four and has no intrest in the potty. They work with him at school, he will sit on the potty but won't do anything. At home he won't even sit on the potty. I've got a chair and the attachment for the big toliet, but he still won't try for us. He is not very verbal so I'm not sure if that's it or not. I know he is aware of his body, because when he does a BM he reaches in his clothes and we have it everywhere. So much fun. I'm not sure what to do with him. He is almost to big for the diapers.