Delores,
I have no idea who wrote that you gave bad advice but here on this board we all have OUR OWN OPINIONS and that includes YOU. I wouldn't worry about what someone else thinks of your post. That is the way that you feel and you have every right to your own opinion. Obviously they feel the same or they wouldn't have wrote that they disagree with you. I don't even think you should have to defend your opinion. NO ONE HERE is absolutely right or perfect for that matter. We are all human and all have different personalities. I for one am glad that it is that way. I would hate to have a bunch of friends that just nodded in agreement with me constantly. TOO BORING for me...LOL Anyway...just wanted to say don't worry about what others think of your opinion. It's your opinion and it's what makes you special!!!
Karrie
A abusive situation is control and manipulation. They want you to have constant self doubts about yourself. They want you very dependent on them. They want you to fear leaving them!!!! This is a power trip to them. By even admitting to them that you are scared, they are controlling you. It is part of their game they play. I am pretty sure abusive spouses already know their victims are scared of them. That is how they get off. So telling him that you are scared of him is not gonna help anything. It will just give him more power and control over you. And the key is to take his control and power back. There is really no way to describe the feelings of a situation like that unless you have been in it. And I know for a fact that my ex husband knew I was scared of him. He could tell by the body language. And saying it outloud is not gonna help anything. Especially by telling him. You just give him more power over you. My ex stalked me. I had to leave the state because of him. And at that time stalking was not a law.
I do hope you are never in a situation like that. The control and manipulation is unbelievable unless you have lived thru it. TV Movies do try to portray it accurately but it is a far cry from actually living thru it. And to be quite honest with you when he started the psychological crap on me, I would rather have the physical abuse than that. They know how to play this game really well.
Tammy
Hi,
I understand that we are all different and have lived different lives. What I wrote was written to help and not to pur anyone in a worse situation. What I wrote helped me through a really bad time in my life and I thought it might help someone else.
Thank You,
Delores
Hi,
A few days ago I read on this site about a woman going through a real bad situation with a abusive spouse and her children. My heart went out to her but I didn't know what I could say that would help. I thought about her through out the day and came back to the site and wrote.
Hi
I really don't what I can say to help you. You stay tough defend you babies like a bear would her cubs. I've never had to go through your experience but maybe this will help you a little bit. Grant you I know this is much more serious. I have learned that if you say out loud your fears to a person sometimes it make them off balanced and makes you more sure footed. I hope I'm making sense to you. If you do speak in court try saying "I know he is trying to scare me and I am scared but I know he is wrong. Then say why you know he is wrong, tell everything just like you wrote. Good Luck, remember DEFEND HIM LIKE A MOTHER BEAR! Good Luck
When I came back to the post some wrote I gave bad advice. I try to learn from any source available. So I really am interested. I've been taught to try and face my fears. I was told the first thing I should do is admit to myself I'm scared and it's okay to be scared. Second I taught say out loud you or it are very scary. Somehow it made the scare more easy to deal with and not so HUGE. I still get very scared but this way of thinking has helped me. I'm not saying it always works but it does help. My question is do you really think that this way of dealing with scary people or things can hurt me? Do you think this way of thinking makes them more powerful? I really want to know.
Thank You,
Delores
Delores,
I apreciate the kindness of anyone who is trying to help. I have had alot posted and PMed and I can't thank everyone enough.
Don't worry about your advice if it's working for you and it helps you in certain situations KEEP DOING IT. I'm so unsure of how to go about changing my life and sticking up for myself and my boys that I just took it. I know my Hubbie saw he could get away with more and more because he knew my fear of doing it alone again. JUST HAVING SO MANY PEOPLE OFFERING ADVICE AND HELP IS SO WONDERFUL!
I plan to let my attorney know my wishes and also let her do the talking if possible. I do have a very understanding lady attorney and I believe she is a genuine person and she seems to understand were I'm coming from. THANKYOU AGAIN
Mother Bear (Nelle) Nelle you should put Mother Bear in your signature
Tammy
I thought it was coming up soon.
Please keep us posted.
I will be thinking of you.
Bev
HEY
tabitha God bless you boo it is the worse thing I have ever felt in my
life TEE I dont like it at all they do feed off of you being scared in
all reality they are the ones that are scared of us ok cant do and live
their lives on their own.God bless us all who has been their.....
DELORES
hello,I understand because im also into an abusive relationship too
alot of people dont understand FEAR ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY NEVER BEEN
THEIR BEFORE ok,Im fFEAR for my life right now ok LEAVING is the most
hardest thing to do you need someone positive in your corner to stand
up with you,They do no understand that these abusers take and suck your
whole inner LIFE and DISTROY it altogether so someone strong has to
come in your life and give us back strenth to take back our strenth
back and fight,Abusers stand in our way this is something we have to
fight hard,my name is michelle my email is mchll_greene@yahoo.com come
lets talk owho so ever it is that is living in fear,DO you tremble even
if abuser call your name?DO sometimes for no reason your heart start
beating fast fast for no reason?If you dont have these symtoms now you
will have it soon it is anexity panic attack ok im looking about going
into a shelter right now as we speak who so ever it is try and plan
safely and get out it dosent get better it gets worse day by day.If you
have to run out do it and never look back run to a domestic violence
shelter they can and will help you even if is to run to the cops they
will help you too.I never hated no one in my life the way I HATE this
MAN rather DOG,SO make your plans real good ok because thats how im
doing mine for me and my child he is already pdd_nos he dont need no
more problem and by me staying it is going to be one ,I will say no
more now unless some one wants to talk with me my e-mail is their
...goodnit everyone I hope you all will understand what fear is that
not even the half of my story...
Copyright Autism-PDD.net