Tammy the card system you use with Gabe sounds alot like a reward system for an older kid. Whatever works is what I say.
Some kids who are using a reward system don't need it for very long. Some might get attached to it. The idea is after they are familuar with it you make the goals a little harder and stretch out how many chips equals a reward. Rewards can be anything from things you already do like reading a book, a snack of crackers, extra video they like, extra cartoon time, a special activity like blowing bubbles or finger painting to dollar store items and more. Yes you have to be careful to ween away from it or you're likely things wont work when they get older unless you buy them a video or dollar video game each week!
Sarah, you are a great mom and you do so much for your family. I worried too before Marissa was born How I was going to manage with Tyler and what if I couldnt give him all he needed? I was so afraid of doing something wrong for him and not having time the baby needed. and I didnt even know he was going to have a dx until 15 days AFTER she was born. No one had even mentioned autism in all the time they had worked with him. That was before computers for me adn I had no clue either other than knowing SOMETHING was going on.
Try to relax asnd enjoy the next tiny bit of time you have before constant feedings and even less sleep than what you run on now. It works out Sarah, it really does. So just hurry and have this baby so we can all hear about how beautiful she is and see some pics of her!!! I wish you healthy beautiful little girl, and a quick, easy, painfree, birth! GOOD LUCK we're all going to be thinking of you!
Sarah,
As you already know..I am pregnant too. I worry about the same things as far as structure etc. Especially with the new baby on the way. HECK....I still haven't gotten Adam out of the day bed that I need to turn back into a crib for the baby. LOL Right now I use an award as you go thing. My big thing right now with adam is working more on appropriate language so when it is snack time I have been giving him choices and because he is ecolalic it works to my advantage. I will hold up 2 different snacks and ask " do you want this....or this...." Using the proper names of course. Alot of times i will put things in there that he doesn't like for instance LETTUCE. and i will put lettuce in the last part of the question because he is more likely to say lettuce because of the echolalia that he does. So when he repeats Lettuce....I give him the lettuce..LOL It didnt' take long for him to figure out that he needs to say the snack that he is wanting. When he gets his answer right or makes an independant choice verbally the reward is the snack itself and lots of praise from mom. I use this technique with toys, games etc. But that is what I am working on now is language mostly. I like the idea of the poker chips but I don't believe that adam is ready for that system yet. OH i also keep stickers on hand and when he does or says something that is appropriate like if he will help me clean up, or lets me brush his teeth etc I give him a sticker.....and again....LOTS OF PRAISE. LOL After starting the ABA program that I was trained for I soon realized that it may not be the right strategy for him......or me. I think if he were non-verbal and had no skills to speak of it would have been a wonderful program for him to learn things like speaking, sitting on command, etc. But adam already does all of this and I believe needs a more social atmosphere. Adam reacts very well to praise and so I use that as reward a lot more than anything else. It's a social based award. Like I said though...when i feel he is ready for the poker chips like system I will impliment something simular to that...but for now the little rewards I give him I believe will prepare him for other systems later. Take care....and don't worry..your a great mom!!!
Karrie
Sarah I personally do not believe in the award system. I think it sets them up for failure on down the road and of course the older they get the more expensive the awards become. What I did with Jeffrey was encouragement after he did something I was trying to get him to do. We started out with the high five's. Now in the beginning he did miss giving me a high five right on the center of my hand, but as he got older he got better at it. I know with Gabe what they do with him, and I do at home, is the card system. It is based on his behaviour throughout the day. He starts out on the blue card. If his behaviour is bad it is turned to green. Now it can be turned back to blue if his behaviour gets better. If not it goes to yellow. So no choice time and sometimes no recess on yellow. If he gets it turned to red it is total timeout. Each day that he does not get his card turned he gets a sticker for that day. After he gets 10 stickers he can pick a prize out of the prize box. These are real cheap toys that come from the dollar store. So they are not outlandishly priced either. Now with the card system you could start that at home and break it up over the entire day. Instead of a prize he gets to watch his favorite video. I would definitely make the goals very short with Zach right now. Then test it out like 6 months from now and see if he can obtain a longer range goal.
YOu are doing great Sarah. We all go thru this anxiety stage right before the birth of our second child. I know I did. But hopefully you new baby just won't decide that they have to be born that second and you have the baby at home, with just you and Zach there.
Tammy
As most of you know I'm getting ready to have this baby any day now... and no later than next week Wed./Thurs. when my Dr. has planned to induce if I don't go on my own. So I don't know if I'm just suddenly starting to get back into worry mode because of that or what it is. But here it goes
I've been reading other posts and "hearing" or seeing some great ideas for behavioral issues and such. I personally really want to start being more structured with Zach because things seem to be very willy nilly free for all-ish here lately. Here is my delemia though....I don't know how to get Him to understand these things. I'm so frustrated at knowing whether or not He is understanding me. Zach won't have anymore therapy after his birthday at the end of July untill we know if we were approved for the state waiver we need to pay for it.... which can take up to 6 months. His Dr. doesn't want him in school here yet because EVERYTHING is full inclusion.... and she feels He is not ready because He doesn't have the social coping skills, language skills, or play skills to deal with school yet... and I completly agree with her.
For example... Michelle on another post brought up about giving poker chips for good behavior and then a certain amount of chips gets a reward.... I LOVE this idea.... but how do I get Zachary to understand these concepts??? See this where I get stuck. I know it sounds rediculous, but it is true. Like the pecs system.... I have a hard time getting Zach to understand that a picture of his cup means He wants a drink...
Maybe because I'm anxious about the new baby coming and have been pretty much just been lazing about the house not doing much of anything I feel this way. Or maybe I'm just having a bad day. I don't know.... but the thought that it could be six months before he starts any agressive therapy is starting to scare me... it's such precious time lost and I don't want to loose it.
hey Sarah, first a great big hug for you !!!! second, willy nilly isn't such a bad thing- especially when you're 9 months pregnant !! and third, if you're thinking about using a reward system, start very slow. but some poker chips and maybe some pooh stickers ( or whatever character he maybe into) put the sticker on the chip and start super slow. ask him to something you know he can do, ex: touch your nose or something along those lines , if he's puzzled ( which he very well might be "why is mom asking me to randomly touch my nose?!" ) take his hand it touch it for him, as soon as he does this give him a token(chip) and make a huge deal on how we're going to trade it in for a snack or juicebox ( start off by doing it immediately after he recieves the token, he'll equate doing the deed to getting the token to getting a treat) I would recommend doing it 1 or 2 times aday until you see he gets the idea of things. we used this method ( and still do from time to time) starting when he was about 2 but also found it was a wonderful lead in to his ABA therapy, once he gets 10 tokens he can have a break, so going into it we had aleg up. we used it to teach him to sit with us as a family for dinner, everytime he said a new word and also teaching a new skill, we'd practice it a few times ( hand over hand rewarding everytime ) and eventually he'd master it. as far as the pecs, prehaps if you took pictures of the things he actually drinks, whetherit be a picture of his sippycup or a juice box and posted it somewhere ( i posted my pictures on the fridge or cabinets) every time he hits/points to it reinforce it by using the word.
now having said that, i wanted to tell you.... you are a great mom !!! you do all sorts of wonderful things for him, you're his best teacher and his greatest strength ! i wish you a healthy beautiful little girl and a quick painless labor ! if i don't chat with you before hand, i wish you and your family all the best!