Baby on the way | Autism PDD
Actually recently Jeffrey did ask me to take Gabe back to the hospital and get a new one. He is convinced the hospital gave me the wrong kid.
Tammy
Thanks everyone!I never thought that I may be setting myself up for future problems by
giving Lou something when I bring in stuff for the new baby. Luckily I
haven't brought in much yet so hopefully I can stop it now before it
becomes a problem.
Thanks again!
Congrats to all of you who are expecting , wish I could have anotherI remember Bryces's reaction at seeing his new baby sister for the
first time through the nursery window. He was so excited
and it was one of his first responses that really connected to what was
going on! He said, "HOLY HANNAH! LOOK AT
THIS A BABY!!" He loved the new baby.......wish I
could say that now 14 years later!! I was so afraid how Dwayne was going to act once I had his little sister he was 22 mo's old. We tried to prepare him the best we could, we would ask him where the baby was and he would push down on my belly (I thought she was going to pop out) Evidentley I was getting myself worked up over nothing. We bought Dwayne a toy and had it waiting for him up at the hospital and told him it was from his new sister and vice versa we gave him a toy to give to her. After we gave him his toy he totally ignored her and the same went for when we brought her home. He has his moments when I am feeding her or rocking her asleep and at that exact moment he wants something to eat, a movie played for him. And yes he has shown some jealousy but he mostly just takes it out on me, he doesnt touch her. *I think he's waiting for us to give her back* Just make sure that you spend at least 30 minutes one on one a day with your other child to make them feel like they arent left out. Dwayne and I spend 30 minutes a day while shes sleeping or spending time with Daddy, we play with blocks, watch a movie together or reading (if hes in the mood). She is now 3 mo's old he still doesnt pay alot of attention to her but hopefully that will come when she's sitting up and has more of a personality. Dont worry everything is going to be fine just remeber the one on one time with him everyday. Good luck with the new baby.
just let your son continue to call baby's father by his name.......don't make a big deal of your baby's father being a different from his........it will just be the way it is to him.........Please do remind your son that new baby is his brother or sister no matter what........as he gets older if he ask questions about this issue and i can almost promise he will ...........just remind him and re-enforce to him that new baby is still his bro or sister. No matter who his father is.............Good luck and don't stress over this too much..........I have 2 step brother and 2 step sister and 2 half sisters...........i always knew every since I could remember that their daddy was different from mine.......but my mom made sure I always knew..........I was a baby when she and my step father met.........it was just the way it always was........they didn't make a big deal about it........so it was easier for me.........I hope this helps.....sometimes I am not very good at wording but I hope you get what i am trying to say..........at any rate I wish you the best of luck and I believe you little man will take his cue from you......if you don't stress about it .......he won't either....... Hi Kim... First off, welcome to the board.... I'm sarah... mom of Zachary Dx classic autism. Secondly... I am pregnant right now due any day... been in labor for a week now *smiles* And, first off I want to say... whilst I understand you feel you need to maybe even the score and bring something home for both childeren.... I personally would STOP doing that. You are gonna teach Lou that everytime His sibling gets something he will too.... what happends at birthday parties then??? Or if one gets something at school and the other doesnt??? Not a very good thing for an ASD child to learn I would think. What my husband and I did with Zach is this.... We have pointed out EVERY single baby he comes into Contact with....on TV.... on movies... in books.... in stores.... in restraunts.... I sometimes, if I get a feel from the parents that it's ok ask if Zach can come up and look at the baby. We also watched that show on the national geographic channel "In the Womb" and bought him his own baby doll. I point to my belly all the time and say "the baby is in there" Zach is very delayed in receptive and expressive language... so I know that I have to take every opportunity for him to start to understand which he is now. We have bought books that talk about him being a big brother and show Him the pictures and read the book to him.... I believe that this is the best way to prepare them.... repeat repeat repeat.... the best to prepare a child for a new sibling... make them secure in themselves and that you love them no matter what. This is also why we have started the "choices chart" using the PECS system... Zach gets to choose what we do during therapy time, what toys to play with and such... He chooses what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Giving him choices makes him feel like he has a voice and makes him feel apart of the family. Hi Kim..... Tyler was just 32 months when his little sister was born and was diagnosed when she was 15 days old. I had no idea a diagnosis was even coming. When I planned for the baby to be born I took a picture of my other 2 kids to the hospital with me. When they came to visit they saw their pictures and knew (and I told them) I didnt forget them and how much I loved and missed them. I planned in advance; buying a little something special for each of my other 2 children that I wrapped up and put in my overnight bag and took to the hospital with me. When the older two kids came to see me and meet their new sister I had their presents in the bassinet and told them the baby had something for them. My son loved that. Tyler was very interested in this little bundle too. He laughed at her cries. It might not be all too awful, but I would suggest not startng any patterns with him that you cant keep continue doing. Such as bringing him a gift every time you bring in something new for the baby. He will have it become habit pattern routine whatever you want to call it and will fit for it if you stop. What are you going to do when the baby gets gifts? What about the fairness during the holidays from seperate grandparents? What about his dad doing things with him and the baby not getting to do things? Life isnt fair. Includse him by having him help draw pictures to hang on the wall in baby's room or have him help put away clothes for the baby. AS far as the different dads..... it just depends how he does... but I would not force him to call his step father dad unless he wants to. Some kids have a problem with 2 people having the same name. Other kids dont. If he chooses to want to call his step father dad I wouldnt necessairly discourage it or he may feel unloved by him.... maybe I would just explain hes lucky to have 2 daddies to care about him his real daddy and his step daddy. But I would make sure you speak with your husband and especially his real daddy and explain his confusion and all 3 of you decide what will work best so Lou isnt confused! Yes I agree with both of them. I know in my case I never buy the other kid anything on the one kids birthday. Jeffrey doesn't get a toy on Gabe's birthday and vice versa. It sets up too much confusion later on. And if one of them brings something home from school, I don't go out and buy the other kid a toy. Tammy
Teenagers are such fun. Good luck with your new addition!! bonnie
I'm due with child number 2 Sept 5th. I've been introducing the idea of a
new baby to Lucian slowly. Asking him at first if he wanted a brother or
sister and telling him what the baby's name is going to be. I even try to
get something for lou when I bring in new stuff for the baby even if it's
something small like a new matchbox car. Does anyone have any advice
on how to make sure that bringing home the new baby goes as smoothly
as possible?
Also the new baby has a different father any advice on how to keep Lou
(or the upcoming baby later on) from being confused by this? Lou's
relationship with his father is excellent and I don't want him to feel like he
has to call the baby's father dad also right now he calls him by his first
name and that's good for us. (I hope that made sense i'm getting a bit
tired).
Any suggestions would be great thanks!
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