sex education for an autistic child | Autism PDD

I just have to throw in here that it's better it come from you than from the playground. This past year Nate learned all sorts of interesting things. He learned all about sex at recess and later learned all about oral sex. He is 9 and not old enough to understand these things. Of course, he came right home and told me, right in front of his 6 year old sister! So here I am trying to get him to stop the monologue of information that he found very interesting whilst trying to push my 6 year old daughter out of the room so I could actually listen and try to correct any discrepencies. He's 9. Makes you wonder where the recess monitors are and what they're doing, doesn't it?

Thanks so much Tia and Bonnie,

Your insight was helpful. I will try to locate this book as well.

Just to give you a mental picture of what Im dealing with, two and half months ago - only 1 month before finalization of my foster adopt twin girls age 6, a FALSE allegation was reported against my son in regards to a sexualized incident

with another foster child not even in my home. The FALSE report stated that my son "humped" another child. CPS had a field day with this and immediately acted upon this ridiculous story and blew it so far out of porportion that they immediately removed my twins from our home calling my son a predator! Upon hearing of this story... my husband and I asked my son very very specific questions to hear his side. My son has never had the sophistication to fabricate stories.... after two hours of exact questions, we were able to piece together the full TRUE scenerio... this other boy and my son - along with a 15 year old boy were playing sock football in the house and when one would tackle the other, they would do a humping motion. The 15 year old told my son this was ok - that he only looked like a dog and they all laughed about it. Needless to say the other boys who have a huge long history of manipulation etc, the story was changed from indoor football - to my son hunted this other kid out and molested him.

After lenghthy investigation, the police confirmed that the other boys story had too many inconsistancies as well as they all were doing this humping motion. My son believed he was playing like a dog... panting and doing a humping motion cause the other boys did it as well. Now, CPS wants me to jump through a zillion hoops to convince them that my son wont harm his little sisters. EVEN HIS LITTLE SISTERS HAVE STATED HE HAS NEVER TOUCHED THEM... and its still not good enough.

My thing is this, we are very open and honest with all of our children but now this poor kid thinks that any time ANYONE hugs him that he is going to be blamed for something bad! In our adult eyes, he acted inappropriately.... to him he was following what the other boys did and thought he was being a dog. I feel we need to have a way to teach him what is appropriate and what is not.

we still dont have our twins back yet and its been 14 weeks - I am trying to educate these workers about autism and charactoristics of autistic children - that just because they think in a different realm than we do - they arent immediate danger to themselves or others!

Thanks again - Dria

BTW --- WHEN I SAY "HUMPED" I mean doing a humping motion with hips -

hanfordlaw38524.9287962963

Wow, I can not imagine... I am Soo sorry you and your family are having to go through this... what a bunch of CRAP. Yes seems these agencies need to get some educationa about Autism. And no kidding ... it's hard enough for our kids to socialize and have friends let alone have those "friends" manipulate him and make it worse... sheeesh... I hope things work out soon and I'll be praying for you and your family.

Unfortunately that is the way CPS is. It is more political than anything else. And you might just have to play the little political game with them. Now I had this neighbor that claimed Jeffrey broke some windows. So this neighbor filed a police report. bad news for the neighbor tho. The cop they sent out worked with autistic kids is transition from high school to adult life. So this cop knew all about autism and how autistic kids behave and react. Anyway come to find out the neighbor never did see Jeffrey break the window. He just saw him running away from the building with another kid. And besides I did look at the window and to me it looked like it was broke on the inside not the outside. Suppose to be a security building too. Anyway the cop told me nothing would be done because they would have to be able to prove Jeffrey formed the intent to do the act and that is very hard to do with autistic kids. Good luck.

Tammy

Dria,

First I want to welcome you to the board!! Secondly I have to say that it sounds to me like your son was a VICTIM here. Why the agency can't see that I don't know but It makes me mad!! I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. I really don't have any advice but just offer support here. Take care,

Karrie

Hi Dria!

I understand the concerns you have and those of the agencies.   Our world has become so polluted with people thinking everything leads to sex and everyone is a predator! It makes me sick! Our kids would problably never knowingly harm another person in this way.....their touches may be inappropriate at times but they may not even know why.    So it is important that we teach them what is ok and what is not and explain the consiquences.

I have a book written by Jerry and Mary Newport....a couple who both have asperger's syndrome.     It explains sex and developing relationships, dating, and dealing with sexual feelings from an autistic point of view.....what we as parents need to help our kids through.   It is entitled "Autism-Asperger's &Sexuality....Puberty and Beyond"   and is available from Future Horizons Publishing.    There is a website on the back cover and an email address......I have not checked these out and I've had the book for a few years so I don't know what luck you will have there but I'll list it any way.      www.futurehorizons- autism.com        &n bsp;   email:     Info@futurehorizons-autism.com

I bought it through the Asperger Autism publishing company.....AAPC.    You should read it first and use what info you feel appropriate with your son....I wouldn't just turn him loose with the book.     Good luck!    It is never a comfortable topic talking to kids about but if we don't you know they will get the info in the locker room or on the street......it is better that we get to them first!
hope this helps some!     bonnie

Dear Group,

I am the mother of a 12 year old high functioning autistic boy. He is a wonderful child that has never ever gotten into any form of trouble behavioral either at school or home. He is verbal, can understand alot of things, but they have to be presented to him in a simplistic and extremely straightforward way.

Does anyone have any statistical information in regards to children with autism and their development regarding sexual issues such as.... how to teach your autistic child appropriate sexual behavior and awareness, or when is a good time to start to introduce a autistic child to positive sexual education?

My son understands certain things, as both my husband and I have had talks with him, but I have many agencies breathing down my neck because they think my son could be a potential harm to our foster/adopt girls just solely because he is autistic/ mildly retarded. These agencies are trying to make us jump through a ton of hoops trying to convince them that autistic children do not typically do not act on alot of things where sex is concerned because they cant stand to be touched.

Does anyone have any material, opinions, statistics, etc regarding this issue?

Thanks in advance - Dria

Dear Friends,

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. You have no clue the nightmare we have been living by having two treasured little foster adopt girls be ripped away from us for NOTHING. The police have specificially stated in several reports and interviews that Kendrick has not done anything wrong - yet because CCL does a half assed investigation and finds the allegation substantiated - they cant seem to come to a decision whether or not Kendrick is in THEIR EYES A PREDITOR! To have your son accused of something that has been proven to not have happened in the manner reported and now forever labeled to have "sexual propensities" is horrifying and downright malicious.

CPS wants us to jump through hoops after hoops to try to convince them that just because he is autistic/mildly mentally retarded - Kendrick no more poses a risk than the neighbor next door. I mean its unreal that no one has even taken into account the affect this has had on him - knowing his little sisters are not with us and that he SUPPOSEDLY did SOMETHING WRONG... when in actuality he did what he saw the others do. He is so panic stricken now to even give me a half hug that he thinks Im going to be taken away too. AND AGAIN... CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES continues on this family destroying path for what they fear COULD HAPPEN.

I want my babies back... I want my son to feel that he is safe from these monsters who want to label him because of his autism. I want to teach my son appropriate boundaries and how to not become a victim himself. sigh... I want my family back.

Thanks again guys for the support! Thanks for letting me vent.

Dria