Choosing a kindergarten | Autism PDD

My son is going to Kindergarten this fall, and we are facing all of these issues as well. My son is academically ready for the first grade, but socially is so far behind that I  don't know how he will function in a regular ed Kindergarten.

I am thinking that we might have to try the regular ed placement with an aide, because my son has surprised me many times with his ability to do things that I never thought possible. I am afraid that because of my own fears, I am going to keep him from experiencing things in life that he really needs to adapt to.

Many Questions:
How do you measure readiness for a regular ed. kindergarten?
What are the pros and cons of sending your child to a private specialized
school with other aspie/HFA/NLD children?
How do you get services when you choose not to go to a public or
specialized school?
How do you asses whether any classroom, specialized or not, would support
your child?
My child is already academically ready for Kindergateren, but socially and
emotionally, he still has a long way to go. He's only four, but I have to start
researching my options right away. Los Angeles is a BIG place, with a crazy
amount of schools to consider. I need to be ready to apply or advocate for
Kindergarten placement by the end of the year

I held my son out this year and I am SUPER-glad I did. In Minnesota, we ARE able to get services if the child is 5 and not in kindergarten. My ds has made a TON of progress this year and was nowhere near ready last year. This year he is saying "I am ready to go to kindergarten" - this has been in the last month. His teachers have been very encouraging and when he does something particularly well, they tell him that is a good skill to use in kindergarten. He is doing much better with writing and even with socializing. I credit Head Start a LOT as he has learned a lot about how to socialize there - the teachers are constantly emphasizing friendship skills, good behavior/listening and how to be a good friend. It is one of the top parts of their curriculum and why we sent him there. I don't know if every Head Start has a similar program, but this one is AWESOME! I used to work there and knew that was the place that my ds needed to go.

He was totally academically ready last year - except for the writing issue. Socially and emotionally - no way. I skipped a grade and while I was able to do that okay - I always felt behind the other kids physically and socially. My ds would have been one of the youngest boys in the class and I knew he would have been picked on even more. At least being one of the biggest in the class - people might think twice! I know he will still get picked on, but I am hoping that with the extra year he will be able to handle it better. They teach kids how to deal with bullies as part of the curriculum as well. He typically is about a year behind socially most kids and plays best with kids who are 4 1/2 to 5 years old (he will be 6 in June). Also, the autism specialist says that he tends to play with the kids who don't speak English very well - and that way he is able to direct the play a bit more and they also don't care (or maybe understand) his quirks as much. Hopefully he will be able to transfer these skills to playing with other kids - but in the meantime, he has gotten a whole YEAR of practicing these skills and using them. His teachers are very impressed with his progress socially as am I.

I say all this to give a case for holding a child out. Tzoya, you are one of the first I have heard to say they don't regret sending their child - although you wouldn't have gotten services for that year, and that of course was unacceptable.

People told me he would get bored if we held him out a year, but we sent him to a different pre-school (Head Start) and he has a totally different curriculum. In addition, he knows the stuff they are teaching - and he can help other kids learn it too! This helps his self-confidence tremendously when they ask him to help do that - he gets to be a leader and a helper, which he loves. Anyway, it all depends on the environment and the child.

Our dev ped said that he didn't have a problem with us holding him out - but he said that one problem he has seen is that parents think that the extra year will just do them good and they don't do anything during that year to address the reasons they originally held the child out. They think just time will fix it. We have used this time to our advantage and have been getting him OT, PT, swim lessons, tumbling class, etc and are working on social skills a lot as well outside of all of these. Once they get to first grade, they don't have as much time or energy for extra activities or therapies and I wanted my ds to have that extra year to get all of those.

Just my two cents...

Just bumping up, in case any one has some much needed advice! I don't know any parent who thought their child was ready for kindergarten.  Not one.  My own fear for my son back then was huge.  The only reason I was able to make the decision to send him to K was that if I kept him home, he would not have been eligible for services and we couldn't afford to pay for all the services he needed ourselves.  This was back in 1996.  Of course, I took the emotional leap and sent him.  Boy, am I glad I did.  There really is only ONE way to get our kids ready for kindergarten and that is to simply send them. The experience is a maturing one -- for us as well as for them.  Not every child has to go to a mainstream kindergarten.  You can visit several options and perhaps choose a self-contained option and then see if he is ready for mainstream kindergarten NEXT year.  My son was in self-contained classes always.  In part because Inclusion was really not accepted back when he was in elementary school, at least not on Long Island.   Good luck.

Our area has kindergarten screening in the spring... for all kids.  They just check very basic skills such as color recognition, letters, numbers, some basic drawings (such as a dog, cat, house), and physical balance.  My youngest (NT 9 year old) was pretty immature and did not do well on the screening at all.  Not because he did not know the stuff, just that he was overwhelmed with the process.  Consequently, he was eligible for a "readiness" program the held in the summer... a 4 week program at the school to introduce the environment more than anything.  Even with that, he still did not mature through K to move on to the more independent structure of 1st grade.  Our school has a program called P-1 where they "bridge" this stage... kind of a transition program if you will.  He did really well with that, and so far he does not feel stigmatized for "failing" kindergarten.

My son with autism transitioned from the school district pre-school directly to a language impaired kindergarten class.  He is now 12, and back then I don't think readiness was even considered.  Since your son is only 4, is waiting another year an option? 

Mary

Ou district tests children to see if they can advance to K .You may want to ask the school for their input

My son Connor is in regular ed kindergarten this year, with a one-on-one aide and pull-out for resource room, speech and OT.  There are 16 kids in the class.  Last year, Connor was in a cross-categorical special education class with 7 other kids for early childhood.  All of the kids were fairly similar developmentally.

While Connor is doing better than everyone expected in regular ed kindergarten, he is not developing friendships as I'd hoped.  His twin brother, who has no developmental issues, is in a different kindergarten class and has made many friends.  Connor is high functioning, but his communication skills and social skills are not on par with peers.  That coupled with the fact that he's pulled out quite a bit, have made it difficult for him to form those social bonds that really make school an enjoyable experience.  Last year, in early childhood, Connor did form nice bonds with his classmates, knew their names and would bring them up in conversation.  He seemed happier with his school experience in early childhood than he is this year with kindergarten.

This week at Connor's IEP we started to discuss options for first grade, and I'm very torn.  Our options are either the mainstream-with-aide-and-support model we have today, or one of two different special education programs offered within our district where he would be in a special class.  I'm going to observe both special programs, as well as a mainstream 1st grade class, over the next two months so that I can have an educated opinion when we reconvene with the team to discuss Connor's placement in May.

Obviously, many pros and cons to both.  I worry that if he's in a special class that he'll pick up behaviors from kids that are lower functioning.  I want him to be around kids with age appropriate development so he can model their skills.  I hate to have my twins in two different schools.  However, I also don't want to put Connor into a classroom where he is the square peg who gets ignored and has no friends.  There are no easy answers.  However, I would highly recommend that you work with your local services provider to identify all of the options available to you, and then you check those options out thoroughly.  Schedule a time to observe both the special classes, and a regular ed class.  (Keep in mind that it's now Feb and kids in regular ed kindergarten in Feb look much more advanced that those same kids looked when the started at the beginning of the year.)  In addition, make sure that everyone who has a say in your child's placement has done the same.  Noone with a decision-making seat at the IEP table should have a vote based on a program description they read about in a booklet.

Good luck in your education choices.  It is never easy.

same questions here too, except that my dd is very social (but akward) and has noooo academic skills dispite being in preschool (autism) for 2.5 years. weird huh? still trying to figure that one out since doctors claim she has average intellegence
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