Getting her to approach kids:)My concern for Sarah not having a friend and not talking to them all day in school has been making me a little nuts.. I sent her teacher a social skill goals-list for her and ALL the other teachers to help her in this area. (I posted it under "friends" links) I talked to her BCBA yesterday asking for ways to help her approach other kids.. my thinking is she likes to be in control and the boss so to speak so in her playgroups and at home she is perfectly typical without prompts ect.. but at school she is mute Her BCBA made in playgroup yesterday a chart (handmade) of 6 boxes on a sheet and at the top she wrote "ask friends questions" and Sarah had to go around and ask the other kids questions on her own without prompts or us telling her what question to ask..each time she did this she wrote a " Blessings, Shelley Shelley - Congratulations! I know from personal experience how hard itcan be for our kids to make this leap. Like you, I had my son in an ABA program for quite awhile and he's now to the point of "graduating" out of it. However, I still have his therapists to help with socialization both at home and in school. He attends both a public and private preschool during the week, and his therapists are there with him at his private school to work on social goals as well as during playdates I schedule at home. This is the last HUGE hurdle for us to get over. And quite frankly, I don't expect miracles by any stretch of the imagination. I just want him to feel comfortable in social situations as he gets older. We, too, have used a STAR chart and found it to work quite well. Unfortunately, once we started to phase it out, he kind of forgot about it and started to revert back to his old ways (needing prompting rather than initiating on his own). I have to remind myself, this is a marathon, not a race. One of the things my therapist did with him recently was to have him pretend to take pictures of all the kids at school (using an older camera as a prop). She had him first initiate with the child he was to take a picture of, then wait for eye contact before taking the picture. It works on several social skills at the same time. He kept wanting the take the picture either before the child was ready or without the child acknowledged he was taking a picture. So, we'll continue to work on this with him. We've also found that playing social games such as "tag", "duck/duck/ goose", and "what time is it Mr. Fox" are a good way to get social interaction going. Of course, this generally requires an adult to get the game going, but most of the time once is in full force the adult facilitator can fade out. One of the things I always try to keep in mind is something Temple Grandin speaks to in both of the books I've read so far written by her. She states that although she wasn't very social when she was younger, her mother continually put her in situations where she was with other kids and she had to learn to get used to being in that type of environment. She credits these experiences for the way she is today. So, even if you aren't seeing the results you would like to now, there may be payoff when your daughter is older. Kind of like making an investment in the future. You're doing a great job with Sarah, and I know how hard it is to manage an ABA program over the long haul. You clearly are on top of things and have a firm handle on both her needs and how you intend to address them. Way to go, Mom! Shelley, I am SOOOOO happy for you and Sarah!!!!! What GREAT news!!!! These wonderful little mile stones are what keeps us parents going and reassures us that we ARE doing the right things!!! Please DO NOT allow yourself to look into the past and hold yourself accountable for what "COULD" have been done OR what YOU could have done in the last 6 months. LOOK FORWARD!!! Like I said in an earlier communication....don't beat yourself up!!! Raising a child, regardless of whether or not they are NT....it doesn't come with a handbook. YOU HAVE DONE A GREAT JOB.....I'm clapping for the both of you That's great Shelley! I love the idea and hopefully one day I'd like to try it with my son, when he gets a little more aware of what is expected of him.
Blessings, Shelley |
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" in the box and after all 6 stars were done she got rewarded with just a high five, cheers and a hug:) She did it! I teared up watching her go up to a kid tapping him on the shoulder and asking if she could play with his toy
It is amazing she did it on her own with no prompting..I usually prompt her for all communications with kids as she could care less but here she was totally in control
Now...I am thinking of emailing the teacher a chart for her to do this at school and pass it on to her other teachers..what do you think? I never knew she could do this on her own & feel so much better:) I am also taking Tzoya advice and getting her BCBA in with ALL her teachers for a meeting of the minds so to speak and offer them suggestions on how to help her.. her primary teacher knows her diagnoses but her other teachers didn't know she was autistic till last week when I had an inquery about it-I thought they had a copy of her IEP
KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK....you're an AWSOME MOM!!!!!
Thanks! I just don't want any regrets later on in her life that I could of done more. Social is the last thing we are totally focusing on and it seems to be the hardest for her. She mastered ABA programs so fast except in this area...I love the support on this board..all of ya'll keep me strong and focused on never giving up:) Thanks:)