Our Situation (EXTREMELY LONG) | Autism PDD

      For those who may have been wondering … I feel I need to say I’m sorry I haven’t been myself on the board recently. I haven’t been posting much and it’s not because I didn’t care. In fact I do care and that’s part of what has me writing this. I feel terrible I haven’t been offering my support the way I have in the past.

       It’s been rough here. As many of you know I’m a single mom with 3 kids, and very little to basically NO support. I try not to complain. The kids father has minimal contact with them (about a 3 – 5 min call once a month – he hasn’t seen them since 18 months ago when my youngest daughter returned home with bruises. NO as much as I wish it was court ordered no visits, it isn’t. We couldn’t prove what happened and so the question of how she got all the bruises still remains. He just hasn’t chosen to see them although I feel he will be in a few more months.)  I don’t speak to my mom, I disowned 1 sibling, and the other only calls when HE needs something. My dad tries but he’s always been more the type to buy cookies and bring it over than to watch the kids or play with them. My best friend has a knee injury she passes out from many times a day – sometimes she passes out while we are on the phone she can’t drive. And my other childhood friend simply lives an hour away and is busy with her own life.

      As most of us know, most people don’t understand autism and understanding and support is minimal. AS many of you who know me on the board know I have a hard time posting what is going on in my life. It isn’t pretty and I always hate to burden someone with my troubles.

      I can’t say THANK YOU enough to some of the people (friends) I have met here on the board. I have talked their ears off about my recent troubles and they have listened and cared. I kid you not if I won the lottery I’d give you each a million dollars! That is how much it has meant to me!

      I posted back in May about the IEP and the heck I have gone through. I Need IEP Help Please! (Very long)  and The HORRIFIC School Day From ___! (LONG)  Now I am trying to write this and post to catch anyone interested up to speed.

      I believe I mentioned our school situation. The levy didn’t pass and one of the 3 elementary schools that make up our small district is closing.  (3 towns combine to one Jr High / High School) Town A closed their elementary school. Their 115- 125 students will come to Town B’s elementary school (this is where my kids have gone and where we live) About 50 – 60 kids from Town B will be re districted to Town C’s school. Yep you guessed it…. Since we live on the line we get re districted! My kids have to transfer to a different school!

     The transfer has upset all the kids. My just turned 7 year old daughter had a birthday party last weekend where her friends’ moms were saying their daughters came home from school crying all night because she had to go to a different school. (Nice to know she will be missed). But apparently the school decided their plans to introduce the kids to a pen pal from the new school they will attend (which is a nice thought) but the school NEVER INFORMED ANY OF THE PARENTS WHAT WAS HAPPENING! So as these kids started hearing from the school of the transition and getting a pen pal and knowing they were leaving all they knew, and their friends; and as the kids who were staying realized new kids were coming but their friends were leaving, it caused all kids great stress, and the parents had no idea WHAT was happening because they were never informed! I mean shouldn’t we have been told this was happening so we could support our kids? In addition the kids were also shown video to be taken on a virtual tour of the new school. AS I said great ideas BUT not if you don’t have the proper supports! NOT if the parents aren’t informed. Also seems no one considered what this would do to a kid on the spectrum with an anxiety disorder too!

      It takes all Tyler has to “hold it together” for the day. His supports are so minimal. At the IEP they act like he’s fine. He has an IEP and they collect money for his special needs but he’s thrown into the regular Ed and left to sink or swim – well he’s sinking but rather than admit that, they adjust his work. Grading on only what he finished, allowing him to skip several pages his classmates have to complete, sending papers home that have a low grade and asking him to fix and return for a better grade, I sent in homework that only had 4 of 16 pages completed and a note and the teacher writes on it GREAT WORK and he got a 16/16 grade plus the 1 point for the bonus! HOW???? How does a paper marked 9/32 F INCOMPLETE get to become an A after it is sent home to be fixed? NO WONDER he makes HONOR ROLL and the school sees NOTHING wrong! They act as though I am crazy because I say he needs help and they say “he really is doing well mom”.

       He has a computer chips memory. He memorizes everything. Something I learned watching him this year is the teacher would give the kids a worksheet to do in class, the same exact worksheet was sent home as homework. Sure repetition is good, but he got bored with it. Also I watched him…. It was amazing he would write an answer down before I could even finish reading the question sitting right next to him. I would tell him to wait I would finish reading and figure out the answer and then yep he was right. HOW??  He kept dong it, and I knew it wasn’t I was slow or something… Math was my best subject LOL. SO I covered the problem ahead as he worked on one and I’m telling you he literally gave the answer in 2 seconds before I could even read. So covered up, without a chance to read it, he answered the next one. I made him wait. I read it and he was CORRECT! HOW? How could he get a right answer without reading the question?????? (The worksheets were things about arrays) I asked and he smiled and laughed and said I just know. Well here to find out he MEMORIZED the answers and when he say the same worksheet he just filled them in, he didn’t need to read.  SO the same happens for his Speech sessions. He memorizes. He knows he’s to make eye contact, he knows he is to greet people; he becomes robotic in doing all of this. He also knows to watch his TH sounds and to wait for turns. So for the 15 minutes or what she might have him (he only got 60 mins. a month ST so I know he wasn’t with her long when she says she sees him weekly) He holds everything together stares intently to make the eye contact waits his turn and that’s  that. Funny he isn’t natural about doing it at home. He can’t carry it over into real life outside of ST. He can’t express his feelings, needs, or anxiety! But the ST reports he is doing so well! She never digs to see if his answers are concrete. They sound appropriate; she’s happy and moves on. She doesn’t see if there is anything else either. I have SO MANY examples I could give.

     So, Tyler had been doing all he could to hold it together and make it through a day.  As he sits in class and hears a kid cough or sneeze, a pencil being sharpened, a crayon drops, a chair screeches, a desk slams, a neighbor whispers, a book closes, and so on it all aggregates him and distracts him and causes him anxiety. (YES he has many OCD and sensory issues). But nothing is done to relieve him of it and he can’t express it. They say he doesn’t need special Ed and that all he has to do is indicate the need for a break but they don’t see any stress in him it must be all at home. So after his horrific school day I posted about, I asked to go meet him at the new school for the field trip they had planned and the principal had given me permission. I had also mentioned taking the video camera for him and he had said he thought it was a good idea. But on the day of the field trip I looked at the clock wrong and arrived there early and was told they knew nothing of me coming and I couldn’t be there. Well all of that is a long story in itself.

        I went to our school and was called on my cell phone to say not to come there was no need. I said I was on my way and hung up. They called back and asked if we could talk about it I said yes when I get there and I hung up again. The third call I didn’t answer. The principal met me outside, he didn’t want to let me in the building and I believe probably told them NOT to buzz me in because I tried several times and I wasn’t buzzed in. He said he never told me I could go. Yet I had spoken to Tyler’s teacher that morning because Tyler had been so angry and had such problems that we were late to school and she needed to know what was going on. I had told her I was going to the school and she felt it was a good idea. (2 + 2 wasn’t making 4). When he did buzz me in the building so I could TALK to Tyler he wouldn’t allow me past the office although he was in lunch! And MANY times I have gone and had lunch with my kids without problems. Just the day before waiting for my daughter’s fieldtrip to the library, I was on the playground with my son and walked through the hallways! Anyhow the principal went to get him and told him to get his things he was going home!!! I had only wanted to first TALK to Tyler. Instead I did take him home; I wasn’t going to have him all confused!

     So adding this fieldtrip to the new school into the mix of knowing he had to change schools and leave his ONLY friend behind (let alone if it was just by itself - we know how our kids are with transition and change) he regressed! He started becoming more aggressive and self injurious, he couldn’t sleep; he was taking 2 – 4 ½ hours to fall asleep on his meds that usually only take 45 minutes to an hour. He was repeating any word that caught his ear over and over and over and laughing this eerie laugh! As I walked through our grocery store he said mustard turd turd turd turd hahahahhahahahahaha turd turd turd turd hahahahahahahahahahaha for over ½ hour. He would repeat words or sentences back to himself, he paced in front of the T.V. repeating the cartoons word for word, he had accidents, he was on his therapy ball for 3 and 4 hours straight rocking back and forth flapping his arms on the side of it or bouncing on the small one then going to the trampoline and bouncing and coming back to the ball and bouncing. He walked outside with me barefoot and stepped on a few loose stones and went back in the house repeating as he walked back and forth pacing the living room saying  “note to self… don’t walk outside without shoes note to self… don’t walk outside without shoes” over and over and over. He is waking up during the night every night coming in my room. Twice he has made noises in his sleep and when I went to check on him he was shaking and I couldn’t get his attention.

     I kept Tyler home from school from that Wednesday and into the next week trying to get him seen. On Tuesday (since Monday was Memorial Day) I received a call from the school truant officer reporting Tyler for being out of school for 2 ½ days! The school had never called to see if he was sick or doing ok or anything! Well I was finally able to get  him seen by his pediatrician since our local mental health emergency services said the best they could do is see him in 6 days unless he was severe enough I wanted him hospitalized! The Dr wrote him off school due to regression until issues and symptoms were resolved for the remainder of the school year.  His private therapist agreed with everything. And also wrote a letter to the school documenting his regression and need for additional supports. The doctor noted that his current IEP was confusing and problematic.      

       I wrote a letter to the school requesting a new meeting. I sent in the documentation, but they have played their games and waited until 4PM two days prior to the school year being out to say they could meet with me over one of the next two days. Well obviously I couldn’t get my son’s therapist who has other clients and the advocate together to meet on less than 24 hour notice. So we met yesterday although it couldn’t be an IEP meeting because the teacher contracts were up. (I believe this was all purposeful and deliberate)

      Meanwhile the special Ed secretary called to say Tyler’s belongings were at the school board office to be picked up. We went and he saw his rock project missing rocks! He started stressing out and the secretary firmly said HEY and he held it in. She said the rocks were in the bag with his make up homework from the past 12 days, and we were offered 2 hours of a tutor. (WHAT A JOKE! He couldn’t do the homework in the state he was in and he had already had his report card made out with his grades!) On the way home he kept mentioning the rocks and the homework and the school issues. When we got home; I feel his anger/anxiety was so built up from this, he ended up exploding. He threw his prized handheld Nintendo DS video game system which shattered on the kitchen floor. 0 system DONE FOR! It took him several minutes to realize what happened and then he freaked out that it was broke for several hours.

     All of this has taken a huge toll on me and the kids. It isn’t even all there is to it. I am in a jobs program through the state because I receive food stamps. I have to do 10 hours a week of job search related work. Currently I have to drive another town 10 hours a week to find a new rental to move to because of the school issues and the fact there isn’t a daycare within our school district whish has prevented me from being employed. (We live on child support since the school report said how great Tyler was doing and he lost his SSI and I now owe them a little more of 00 in back money!) I have tried to comply but when I found a place I was told I couldn’t move there by housing standards because it was over the fair market rent (although it is cheaper than where I am currently renting). This same jobs woman has tried to get my oldest daughter who is almost 17 and has Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder removed from my home and put into a Juvenile Detention Center. (No one wants to touch the issue that the father’s inconsistent calls and visits causes stress for all 3 of my kids. My youngest hasn’t slept in her own bed in 18 months since she came home with bruises. She was afraid to take a bath and afraid to change clothes. My son has regression at home and school with dad’s inconsistency, and my oldest gets angry nasty and then suicidal over it.) But it must be me right?

    So I have lost Tyler’s SSI and am dealing with Tyler’s regression. I am trying to deal with the school issues with the IEP, and my oldest failed 2 classes, I am trying to keep her out of Juvenile because the jobs woman is trying to report her behaviors and threatening to also report me for neglect since my 2 little ones are around my oldest. My oldest has a possible serious medical issue that has to be investigated right away, and I am supposed to be getting a job and moving and no one understands where or why I am stressed!

      I was so fortunate to get Tyler in to see a child psyc. Because of a cancellation; they had said the earliest appointment was Aug 5. He spent 3 hours with us and still has to complete the evaluation next month. He did ask who diagnosed Tyler. I told him the place who diagnosed him the developmental pediatrician who confirmed it, the school psyc at the MR/DD school where he went for preschool and the well known Neurologist he first saw when we moved here and then the neurologist we seen now changed the diagnosis and also this school psyc. He indicated he felt Tyler’s issues were more serious,… a possibility of bipolar with the autism but seemed to feel he was more classic autism then PDD-NOS.

      I also met with an autism specialist who works with Tyler’s private therapist. She immediately looked over his brief history and saw him probably 10 or 15 minutes and also said she believed he was more severe than his diagnosis indicated. She said she is going to have him re diagnosed with autism.

      So yesterday this school meeting I had the advocate, therapist and autism specialist with me. We met with the Special Ed Director and school psyc. It was a joke. They refuse to do anything. They won’t have a new IEP meeting until a week or so into NEXT school year. My team members have looked over the school letters and documentation I have (as has a friend here on the board) and the school is in violation without a doubt. Nothing is resolved other than the fact we are creating a HUGE paper trail. I have already been told this will likely go through due process. I also informed them that since the ISSUES weren’t resolved, although I hoped the symptoms would be by September; that Tyler would not be back to school in the fall until the issues ARE resolved. I was told I would have to get another Doctor letter then as she disagreed with me and I assured her that would NOT be a problem.

     I just recently today received a call from the autism specialist. She said I need to write a letter to special Ed requesting a new independent evaluation be done and to have a new MFE done. She gave me a parent phone number to contact but mentioned they school will give me a list of people for the independent evaluation (which will be paid for by the school) and that she wants me to instead see a Doctor at University Hospital in Cleveland who is extremely good and will come to the IEP meeting with me.

    In the meantime, I got a letter from Tyler’s therapist saying I am needed at home with him so hopefully it will excuse me from the jobs program temporarily so I can get things in order. I have been having trouble sleeping, shaking, and feeling sick; I have no insurance to see a doctor or to get any meds.

      I am also having my situation presented to a county organization to hopefully be approved for help which might mean in home daycare so I can work amongst other things. I will be asking that Tyler be sent to a different school to address his needs at our school districts expense. I said I want this school to have to be held accountable for what they have done to my son and me, regardless of what happens!

   Anyway, I know this is incredibly long but I just wanted those interested to know why I haven’t been myself lately here on the message board and what I am going through.  I should be hearing soon about going through a new MFE and re diagnosis. Ironically, Tyler was diagnosed 7 years ago today.

Michelle,

I just wanted to say, i'm so proud of you!!!!  Like always, you take the bull by the horn. I'm glad things went well with the child psych and i'll continue to pray for both you and your family. hopefully with the new eval, things will be different from here on out. I just wish, with every bone in my body, that i was there to give you a hug.

*sends big hugs to Michelle*

I wish I was closer hun, I would come over make you some coffee or tea and we could just sit and chit chat and let our kids go wild and who the heck cares what anyone else thinks *smiles*  I am glad that the autism specialist is being so helpful to you and that they are possibly looking into rediagnosing Tyler... we have talked about how his regression lately seems more severe than PDD-nos.  At least there seems to be SOMEONE on your side.... if not a few people.    The school is nuts and I really really hope that they pay for everything they are doing.

I'm so sorry...I don't know you well either, and I've only been on this board for a few weeks...but I have to tell you I find you to be a remarkable woman...this was before reading this post.  I've learned a great deal from what you (and others) have posted, and I'm amazed that "regular ole people" can be so incredibly knowledgable about this very misunderstood disorder.  After reading this post (as I'm openly crying) I find you to be FAR more remarkable than I realized.  To be going through what you are is absolutely wrong...what that damn school has done to your son is a crime.  You absolutely are being wronged, and they damn well should make it right.  I'm glad to hear that there are some very wise people that see that your son needs more help, and are at least trying to do something.

I understand trying to do all you can with little support is extremely hard, (I also lost my job due to son needing me at home - and am in application process for food stamps too - lost my home last august, etc. etc.).  BUT I BELIEVE LIFE IS FULL-CIRCLE, ALL YOU DO FOR ME (and everyone else) WILL COME BACK TO YOU SOMEHOW...I WISH I PERSONALLY COULD DO SOMETHING FOR YOU, OTHER THAN TO JUST SAY "THANKS"...you deserve so much more (so many of you do). 

I'm thankful that your son (all your children) have someone like you for a mother...god knows where they'd be without you...and please believe me, the heathens that are treating your son (and you) this way at school WILL get it back ten-fold...we're not always there to see it happen, but I don't believe that this world would allow children to be treated this way by people and then get away with it....I relish in the fact that unkind people are eventually "paid back" for the harm they cause others (I swear I've seen it work)...

I never would have known you had so much more going on in your life, you represent yourself as a very wise, very caring, very helpful and very strong woman.

THANK YOU ~ from the ENTIRE Horan family

Hey Michelle here is an idea:

We hold an event at Heinz Field

We have some Steelers there, invite Roy Williams of the Cowboys too.  WE use real dummies, not the fake ones.  We invite the school personnel and the jobs program woman to Heinz Field.  But we don't tell them why they are there.  See the players need to practice on their tackling skills.  Forget Bill Parcells, just talk to Jerry Jones directly. 

Tammy

I'd pay for that event!!!

Tammy,..... ROFL Your idea is awesome! I'd Love to see it happen! Thanks for making me laugh!

michelle,

  wish i was closer to help you out somehow. don't know what i could do but even to sit with you over a cup of tea and commiserate. i hope  you can at least get tylers situation under control and maybe things will be better. maybe it is a good thing he has to go to a new  school it has to be better than the old one. sounds to me like they are afraid of you.

I'm with colt845. A new school may be just the blessing that you are waiting for. In the meantime, God don't like ugly. What has been done to Tyler is way past ugly. Jesus has some very strong things to say about people that cause children to stumble. Something about a mill-stone tied about the offenders' necks and a deep body of water.......

God still works miracles and  remember that you are very much loved. Your labors have not gone unnoticed. Janet

SIDELINE PASSES TO A STEELERS HOME GAME? *Perking up with a smile*

Thanks all for the support. It helps so much to know I have back up!

I also want the school held accountable for what they have done to him, me and my family. The amount of stress I have been under is unreal.

Bonnie I am so sorry to hear what SSI did to your brother and his passing! Seems these people just don't care since its just a piece of paper they stamp DENIED on and never give it a second thought as to the people it is affecting.

Stephanie, I don't have a lawyer as of yet. I have been told I need to leave the long paper trail list FIRST. The autism specialist has contacted someone and did fond a FREE LAWYER for me so Im sure that will be coming soon. I also have a list of places from a member on the board who works for a law firm and researched my area. (THANK YOU!!)

Barbara I have also heard that if you can't afford to pay them back they will reduce or excuse the amount owed. I don't know how that works though because they have yet to do it for me and trust me the 00 they want back is 1/2 of my yearly income! The other time they wanted money paid back because they had made a calculation error and overpiad him, they took the money out of future payments.  So I have no clue how to do that, but I do know as Tammy said I trust NOTHING from the government or elsewhere UNLESS IT IS IN WRITING and even then I know the government will come back and say well it was an error (doesnt matter if it was on their part) and I owe them!

ALL of the PM's Emails and Posts are so helpful to keep me focused and fighting! Thanks SO much!

I think I forgot to mention I spoke with a mom in the general NE Ohio area whos kids go to the same therapy treatment center Tyler goes to. (The autism specialist there "hooked us up" She said she is willing to drive the LONG distance to accompany me to Tyler's IEP and help me fight She also gave me her email address.

She said with what the school has done with transitioning him to a new building is a HUGE violation (because it was nothing more then a regular ed transition) She said to write a formal complaint to DOE and they will JUMP ALL OVER IT! She said we can write a more specific formal complaint about all the other issues later.

In the meantime I am also writing a letter to ask for a new INDEPENDENT MFE at the schools expense (I think I already mentioned this) and she says with all of this we will get him a good IEP!

Im hanging in there!

I'm so happy you have someone willing to fight with you...the more the better!  I second that on the DOE...I made one call to them, and within 5 minutes SHE asked ME if she could attend his IEP with us.  (and then hooked us up with an advocate and FREE legal aid when she saw what a witch we were dealing with).

Paper trails are fabulous...I keep a spiral notebook for all phone conversations too, and when I read to the whole meeting what she said to me on the phone, there was quite a turnaround in attitude (on her part)...."So what if we re-test him and his IQ goes down even more (28-points in a year already)....then what?  He'll be labelled mentally retarded and is that really what you want?"  Can you believe that???  I politely said no, I don't 'want' that, I'd love for him to be perfect.... but it is what it is...I tell you, what they do to avoid helping is SICKENING! 

Go nail 'em to a wall!!! 

Hi Michelle,     I am sorry to hear things have gone so badly the past month.    I know  life goes in cycles........we seem to have these hard times we never think we will make it through and yet somehow we do.    One of the laws of physics  states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.......SO....soon you should be seeing some wonderful things happen in your life!     It is sad that  things have to get so bad before we can get the right help. 
  I hope this school is held accountable for their actions!!    I believe as a parent  we have the right to observe what is going on at any time during the school day.    They have no right to deny a parent access to their child.    That makes me mad!!    Our school tried that 2 years ago in the name of school security.....they have since relaxed it as they realized how un-parent friendly their policy was.  
  
I hope that the SSI will be reinstated after the new dx is made......don't  stress over paying it back.....they will try to hold you to it for awhile but  you would probably win in court and like so many gov things after you no longer need it they will relent.    My brother in law was on disability for a heart condition.    The meds he was given made one part of his heart work better but lowered his blood pressure so much that he couldn't do anything.    Since he looked better on paper he was denied any further disability payments.   He was too weak to fight  it.    He died in 2001.....just a month ago we got a letter addressed to him saying that they were wrong and he would now be eligible for disability payments!!   Too little too late!    UGH!!!   

I wish I could help!   These gov programs can be so hard to manuever!   I hope you can find  a great place to live for you and the kids.....there has to be something better coming for your family!    Just hang in there!!    Until then, we are here with virtual hugs and shoulders to lean on!!God bless you and your kids!!   and good luck!!   (I do hope you win the lottery!!   and  not so you can share the $$  but  so that you could move to a friendlier place with better services for your kids!!)   You deserve the best!!     I hope you get it soon!!   bonnie
Do you have a lawyer? I know it may be a financial problem for you, but I heard that some lawyers do a "pro bono" type thing for some cases and only charge if you win your case. May help with the school issue AND SSI. I know what you mean...if I won the lottery, I promise you will all have to break the "internet security" rules and give me your addresses, cause the check would be in the mail!!! We can dream anyway

Yeah after the government gets its 50% of the lottery winnings of course

Tammy

Hi Michelle......

Stay Strong!

I wanted to let you know I just got a 'bill' from SSI telling me I owe them all the back money they were giving us for Andy. All it took was a phone call to the 800# and I told them there was no way I could pay that money back.....the man didn't even argue with me...he said 'okay I will erase it' Just like that! No arguement nothing!

So you hang in there and I will pray things all come together for you and your family.

Barb

I wouldn't trust anything anyone with this government told me over the phone.  I would definitely want a letter from ssi stating that I didn't have to pay it back.  They could probably come back on you years later and tell you to pay it.

Tammy

First off, Michelle, although I know you are a very strong and intelligent woman, we all have our breaking point. I know you have a lot going on here, but try to give yourself a break okay? It sounds like you are going mach 3!!! You need a little time to breathe and come up with a plan of attack! And also, I know there have been lawsuits won by parents on less severe grounds than what you have. Something to think about. I'll be praying for this all to work out for you, just try and keep yourself strong, you need some downtime to do that.

I think I might be hopeful if the new school seemed like a blessing BUT the problem with the new school is it is the same school district so the same administration and the special ed director is not only the same at both schools, but she is also PRINCIPAL at the new school!!! So NO unfortunately it ISNT a blessing its just shuffeling locations and a new spin in the mix of confusion and problems (and denial of services) he doesnt need! I met with the special ed director a few days ago. She says the IEP was followed to the letter, denies he has any significant problems, and says he doesnt need any additional resources. WHAT A JOKE

Thank you for the support, encouragement and prayers. I will make it through this because I know if I dont do it NO ONE else will do it for Tyler!

I try to be strong, but you can only take being beat down so much. Especially when you're the little guy but this time Im coming loaded with team members who do this for a living! and of course I have all of you.

Ginger Thanks for the reminders. I already have documentation that he hasnt made much progress in 4 years with his social skills and emotional skills, aggression, and self injurious behaviors; I also have the CO-EDI report from our county MR DD school that classifies him as disabled in 3 of 5 areas, (should have been 4 of 5 but anyways) I have documentation that contradicts the school but I appealed to SSI and lost and am going through the second appeal. HOWEVER the denial says even though he has problems with xyz, significant weight was put on the greater objectivity of the school report. (Like the school has no financial interest in this? I mean mom might lie for the check, a therapist might lie for continued treatment, but the school? NO they wouldn't lie... except maybe to make their ratings go up, to deny he needs any added services yet they have him on enough of an IEP to gain funding..... hmmmmm)

I do know about respite and have posted links myself about it. Thanks for thinking of it though. 

I have respite but I am dissatisfied with my provider. She is 20/21 and cancels because there are severe thunderstorm watches, she has a dental appointment, a dr appointment, an appointment with her lawyer, her friend had a baby, or her fiance had a tooth pulled. She has only been here on the average about 65% of the time she is scheduled and she cancels right at the last minute. Her fiance used to do his care until he got a full time job elsewhere. He did the same thing.

Recently I asked when she was finished with school and she just finished this week. I asked her to discuss hours and she said she might just keep the same (after school 3:30 - 6:30) hours because her fiance works 2nd shift and she doesn't get to see him. Well I have news..... Im looking for a new respite provider but I live in a very small town.... she lives about 30 miles away... it isnt easy finding people who do it out here.

My daughter is officially diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. She has been in therapy since she was 2 years old (off and on). I have had at least 6 different agencies try to help us. I have had her in the court deversion program. Believe me I have tried everything I have found available short of a residential treatment program. She has a part time (after school and summer) job but she calls off as she wishes and even walked out on them once. I thought for sure she would be fired but she wasnt. I know she acts different around others and I get the brunt of everything at home.

I must be the energizer bunny,....... I just keep going and going and going and going and going and going and going

Tammy

I read your situation,, Michelle.. You are really strong person.  If I were in your situation I probably lost mind.. I wish I could help you so that you can take rest for a while or go to spa or something.  Please please try not to push too hard for yourself.. Only I can do on this board is to listen and encourage. ..

I do believe she would accept sideline passes to a home Pittsburgh Steelers game.

Tammy

Michelle

Heres lots of hugs and good wishes.    Hang in there!


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