Intro... | Autism PDD
Thanks all for the welcome! I'm sure I'm right where I'm supposed to be, just wasn't the place I planned to be lol. That's ok. I recently heard this one: Is the glass half full of milk or half empty? Half full, of course. But I didn't order milk. I'm trying to stay optimistic eventhough I didn't order "milk" in the first place. It's still good. Thanks again, Tia,
LOL I like that one! "I didn't order milk." 
Will have to remember that.
i think what you are going through is pretty normal and i think we have all gone through it at one time or another. sometimes things get overwhelming or you stop to look at where you are going and you don't know the answer. only thing i can say is that i have a plan that i would like my son to live in a community living group when he gets older and probably have to go work in some sort or workshop. too low functioning to do any other type of work. must be realistic but at the same time don't give up all hope. i never thought we would be as far as we are. my son is 19 now and a pleasure. still needs constant supervision but a happy go lucky kid who wouldn't hurt a fly.
Welcome Tia,
You've gotten lots of good advice, and I wish you all the best w/ your son and I'm glad he likes his doctor...that helps big time LOL...
I'm Ali, mom to Nicholas 4 1/2 and dx w/ Pdd/nos at 29 mths...
I'm glad you found us!
hugs!
Ali
Hello, my name is Tia and I am new to this forum. I have 4 children aged 6-13, 3 boys and 1 girl. I'll be blunt, I need help. My 9 year old son was recently given a PDD-NOS diagnosis. As I'm sure you're all aware, just getting the diagnosis was an exhausting process. I was doing really well. I knew what the end goal was: to find out what was going on with Nate. I guess I never thought beyond that. I guess in some odd way I saw the diagnosis as the solution, believed that if only I could know what was going on then somehow I could fix it and then we could just move on.
So, Nate sees a psychologist on a weekly basis or rather it seems more like I see a psychologist. He's great and, surprisingly, Nate's decided to like this person so all should be well. Like I said, I was doing well and then today as I sat in his office discussing the behavior mod. techniques I need to be employing to get Nate to behave in a more socially appropriate manner I discovered I was fighting back tears. I can't really explain why. Maybe it's because I've began to understand that the road is really long, that there is no magic pill forthcoming, that we're going to be doing this for a very long time and there is no just moving on. I'm discovering too, and I don't know how appropriate this is, but I'm discovering that I'm angry. For years I reported his behavior to every doctor he encountered and received no response. The school was even less helpful. But nobody wanted to find out what was going on, everyone just wanted him to eat his veggies and act "right". And now all any of them can say is "we should have had him tested a long time ago". No kidding.
Anyways, where do you go from here? I know, educate yourself, educate your family. Beyond that, how do you let go of the dreams you had when you're not even sure what new dreams you should come up with? They can't even say if he'll ever live independently at this point. How can you dream about the future when you don't even know what the future will look like?
Thanks for listening to my little whine. Is this normal to go through this? I feel like I'm supposed to just be strong all the time and soldier on, not even think these thoughts much less write them down... Thanks,
Hi Tia and Welcome,
I am the step-mother (basicallly mom) to a 9 1/2 yr old boy with PDD-NOS......I want to say i understand what you feel..........it is really hard when you get the dx and then you feel need to be the strong one and feel yourself slipping........I have been there and am there most of the time......Curtis was dx at the age of 5.........we too were told you should of had him evaluated a long time ago.......but we didn't so we can only go from there..........you can't change the past.........so I try to look to the future........ I look at Curtis' strengths and they all have them .....your Nate has things he excells in ...........look at them.......and build the dreams from them...........and never forget he is the same perfect little boy you gave birth to.........nothing has changed as far as that goes........the dx did not change who he is........and give yourself permission to cry and be sad.........that is okay......we all do it.........and then we pick our selves up ......and go a few more steps........it is a long process.......but you will revel in each improvement , in step he takes.......just like you did when he took his first step as a toddler.......the rewards are so sweet.......I wouldn't trade Curtis for a "normal" child........he is my treasure.......and God has trusted me with his care.....I have to trust that God knew what he was doing.........we are all here for you.......feel free to whine, cry, scream, laugh and whoop it up ....we will do all of that with you.....we will all try to help you in any way we can..........i have gained so much from this board and the kind and caring people here.........I hope you can too.......I am sometimes not very good with words but i want you to know you are not alone.........we all have had those days........those weeks and even those months..........so WELCOME........and "hugs"
You don't have to worry about your feelings, I think we've all felt or are still feeling the sting of "not knowing" what's in their futures.
My name is Linda, I'm a 40 y/o sahm of 3...Sharon is 24 y/o, she's schizophrenic, bi polar, & ptsd just to name a few of her diagnosis..she has her own place, with ALOT of help from my Hubby & me.She's mine from my first marriage. Nikki is 16 y/o, she's my Hubby's from his first marriage, she lives with her biological mom, we only get to see her every other weekend, she's a bright, funny, smart, loving teeny bopper who has a really good head on her shoulders. Tony is mine & my Hubby's together...he's 9 y/o, he's HFA (High Functioning Autism). He's a funny, affectionate, loving, smart boy. He's in a regular school & a regular classroom, he'll be in the fourth grade in August. We found out his diagnosis when he was 3 & a half y/o. He was "behind" in everything, we knew something was "not right". But to tell you the truth, (so far) he seems almost "normal" until he gets excited , scared or upset. I worry for his future (near & distant) alot, but I gotta tell you, I worry more for my oldest Daughter *shaking head*. BTW she has made me a Grandma to 2 wonderful children... Rayna is 5 y/o, & Riley is 2 months old. I have Riley the biggest part of the time because she can't handle him. Rayna lives with her other grandparents (long story). We live in Indiana. Please feel free to PM or e-mail me, I LOVE getting BOTH!!
I know I haven't been any help to you, but I really just wanted to let you know that you're NOT alone......
God Bless you all & keep you all safe!
Linda...aka Tony'sMom...aka MWN64
Yes, it is normal to have the feelings you are having, it is grief, grief for the loss of the son and life you thought you were going to have. Feelings of Grief. Parents of children with autism are grieving the loss of the "typical" child that they expect ed to have. In addition, parents are grieving the loss of lifestyle that they expected for themselves and family. The feelings of grief that parents experience can be a source of stress due its ongoing nature. Current theories of grief suggest that parents of children with developmental disabilities experience episodes of grief throughout the life cycle as dif ferent events (eg. birthdays, holi days, unending caregiving) trig ger grief reactions (Worthington, 1994). Experiencing "chronic sorrow" is a psychological stres sor that can be frustrating, con fusing and depressing." http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=livin gfamily A link to a good article on the stages of grief and autism. http://eiiswest.nsnet.org/Parent_Resource_Package/I_just_dis covered.doc "I just discovered my child is autistic,what should I do now?" Tia, Everyone here has already said what I would so I would just like to say welcome!! I have 3 children, boy 12, girl 11, and boy 3 with Pdd-nos. This board has been so helpful to me. I'm glad you decided to join!! Take care, Karrie
As all these ladies have said, it's normal to go through feeling what
you're feeling. I think we all have (and some of us still do from
time to time). I agree that it's incredibly overwhelming when you
realize that the road ahead is long and unsure. No one can give
you any guarantees.
The best comfort I can think to give at this time is that yes, this
will change what you thought Life was going to be like -- but that
doesn't mean it'll be a negative change! I have learned much
about myself and my love for my son in the fairly short time he's been
diagnosed. Will it be more "work"? Yes, it will. But
since when is work a bad thing? OKay, overused quote here:
"Anything worth doing is worth working for." Try not to look upon
this diagnosis as a 'death knell' for your son's life. It's
not. It may change what his life will be, but Life changes all
the time for people everywhere. And who knows? Your son's
life may be that much more full from the people he'll meet along the
way who will contribute to his potential and well being.
Have faith, Tia. You're not alone in this! I wish you much
strength and peace as you forge through all that may come your
way.
And welcome to the board! You have found many friends here. 
Kellie
Copyright Autism-PDD.net