Hi. Welcome to the group! One thing I wanted to add was to think of anything you might have changed. As the others said, it could be nothing and just something you'll have to overcome. But also w/ some children I have heard of instances where the parent, grandparent, or whoever changed something they didn't even think about that really upset the child. Like cutting hair, wearing it up or different, a strange necklace, rearranging all the furn in liv room, etc. It's hard sometimes because these aren't always things we're used to thinking about. I watched a movie where this little girl (severely autistic) started to get very upset about her mother. It was discovered that the mother had her hat worn backwards, when she never did that before and for some reason it distressed the little girl. When she stopped doing it the little girl was fine. Good luck and I think it's wonderful that you are there for your granddaughter.
Amber
Hi Maryp,
Just wanted to say welcome and how lucky your granddaughter is to have such a loving, caring grandmother in her life. i know how special that realtionship is. I hope you find our "home away from home" a place of comfort and knowledge !
I agree w/ the other ladies...try to regain her trust. Is there an activity that she absolutely loves to do? Try using that as a method to regain her trust and to interact w/ her. I would place the activity right in front of her and start playing w/ it...with the hopes she will come over to you to play. This is what my parents must do w/ my daughter each time we visit (and we visit every 2-3 weeks).I am the grandmother of a 3 year old autistic spectrum child (my only grandchild, loved beyond words) . A few months ago she was visiting with me and suddenly started crying and couldn't be consoled. Ever since, whenever she sees me, she starts crying. She won't come near me and doesn't want me near her. I used to babysit every weekend but now she won't let her parents leave. Any ideas on how to overcome this. As far as i know, nothing happened that day, except she was extremely overtired.
Dear Maryp, Hi my name is Jo Ann and I am the mom of a 5 year old autistic girl. I know that this type of event can be extremely confusing and alarming so take a deep breath and try not to let your feelings get in the way. You will probably never know what causes these types of reactions especially if the child is relatively non-verbal. I would not spend to much time trying to figuire out what caused this as I would regaining the childs trust and affection. This can be a very trying process and I and my husband have both had similair type issues with our own daughter. If it is possible start meeting with her parents at a nuetral location such as a playground or a restauraunt with a playland and slowly reintroduce yourself. If the child has a slow processing issue like my daughter does it may have taken her some time to equate her presence at your house with her parents abscence from her. Most children would worry right away when they have the notion that their mom and dad may be going out, but my daughter probably would not react the first time or 2nd or even 3rd because she doesn't really mind being their, however on the 4th or 5th time when she doesn't feel like staying there she will melt down in a loud and horrific manner. This leaves the adults wondering what in the world could be wrong when in actuality nothing is different other than the fact that the child is expressing an opinion. It may not be appropriatte to the situation but most autistic spectrum children do not have typical or "normal" displays of emotion. I do not think that her reaction has as much to do with you as it does with what coming to your house represents (mommy and daddy going out). Try some family outings together such as the zoo or a picnic where you are there and the parents remain. Good luck and please let me know how things are going I am at hfronline@peoplepc.comMaryp,
Welcome to the board!! I agree with Jo Ann here. My son at times will refuse to be somewhere or do something it seems out of the blue when he seemed to be fine with it previously. He is almost 3 1/2 and he has just started to have separation anxiety when it comes to me leaving him. Yesterday at speech and OT they started to try and get him to go in the room by himself with me observing from the window just outside the door and he threw a fit. He starts school in early august and they are trying to get him used to being in the room without me which is proving to be a difficult thing. I know that it has to be difficult for you since this change has popped up. I agree also that you might want to try and do family outings with parents there so that she will see you as the "fun grandparent". Take care and again...WELCOME,
Karrie
thanks for the feedback. we tried the neutral ground and it did work, she interacted with me fairly well (went to the mall and she loved the fountains--got into my purse for more coins to toss!) i guess we'll just keep doing that for a while. i'm so glad i found this board!