DD is in a bad phase now. We have our ups and downs, they tend to come in clumps, sometimes (both good and bad) lasting for months. The good times are great (and I really enjoy them), the bad times, obviously, are exhausting and scary!
For the past week, she's just been off in her own little world again of recitation and nonsense words and not really wanting to interact (though she still talks more in general than she used to , answers questions which she didn't used to and is still affectionate, etc. It's by no means a total regression or losing words or anything like that).
It's just so odd to me because this time last week, she has been making such great progress with her speech and alertness and interaction for weeks that I was really starting to think all she has is a language disorder (I even posted about it). I should have known better, I guess. Right now, I would definitely say she's got pdd to some degree. She hasn't been this "off" in a while.
I think I need to learn to not ride these waves of so-called "normal" behavior or progress so high and not ride the waves of so-called "autistic" behavior or regression so low. I need to find a way to stay in the middle, even-keeled about it. I wonder if having an official dx makes that any easier?? What I've come to figure out is whether or not DD ever does get dx with some form of pdd or not, she definitely has "autistic-like" characteristics, so I'm firmly entrenched in this world one way or another, like it or not, so I better find a way to deal with these ups and downs. At least her neuro appt. is next week so maybe I'll get some more info then.
She's also back to her prolonged tantrums over NOTHING, with piercing screaming and she so obviously wants to hurt me though she never really does much more than flail her arms at me or push my face away. Sometimes it is scary though nonetheless. She went through a phase where she'd do these tantrums multiple times a day and they'd go on for HOURS (probably more like 45 mintues but seems like forever) when she was about 2 1/2 for about 4 months but then stopped. Now they're back EVERY DAY (though still not as many a day) and they drive me to the brink more than anything. During these episodes, she also reverts back to stress echolaia and repeats some odd phrase that makes no sense over and over and over and over while screaming and crying. It's so heartbreaking and scary and makes me feel so helpless when she does that. It also makes her seem so unreachable because there is no cutting through that. She just has to repeat it over and over no matter what I say or do in response until she's run her course.
She does this thing too where something goes wrong (say you move her cup) and then from there on out NOTHING can ever put it right or stop the crying. You move the cup back, that's wrong, more howling ensues. You move the cup somewhere else, wrong. You put it away, wrong, more wrong. You walk away. The worst! You get the idea, it just has to run its course and once it's gone bad, that's it. Except NOTHING HAPPENED to cause it! But I guess it did and she doesn't have the words to tell me what it is. These are NOT tantrums over her wanting something and not getting it or something predictable like that. This is like a sudden storm out of nowhere in a clear blue sky. One minute all is well and we're happy, the next, it's an hour of tears and screaming and stress echolalia and no end in sight.
What do I "do" when my dd is in one of these phases where she's less reachable, less talkative and less interactive? Is it something she needs to regroup from the stress of school and ST, etc. etc. or should I fight against it, try to keep her involved? Also, the tantrums seem to come along with the regression, so I'm not sure how to handle those. In "good" times, the tantrums/crying are for some discernable reason and can be remedied, stopped pretty quickly. I was hoping she was just having a few "off' days but it's been 5 days now so I think it's a phase for now. She seems to be either really "on" or really "off". Does any of this sound familiar????? THANKS!
Unfortunately yes that is familiar. The tantrums do come and go. It could be an allergy, food sensitivity, stress over school, any number of things. What meds is your child on? It could be a reaction to the meds too. My best advice is to keep a journal and try to not let it get to you. And of course consult their doctor or their neuro. Hang in there. They will subside hopefully for a few years and then you can gather your energy and strength to deal with the teenage years.
Tammy
Hi sallys, sounds like you have your hands full so i'll be brief. in my experience, all of our kids have good/bad or on/off days, weeks even. an unfortunately, it could be a number of things that are setting her off, a change in routine, a nuero.dev growth spurt, heck it could even be she's getting her molars.... as far as the tantrums go, my philosophy is, fight it, keep her as involved as possible. i get alot of slack from people because i treat my son as i would treat my NT daughter. i set limits and have real expectations for him. i found a few tricks of the trade along my crooked journey into autism. i've learned to read his body language, i give him choices of activities, i don't give him alot of time to wander about, indulging in self stimming behaviors. I've learned to remain calm during his meltdowns and talk him thru it, these kids are exceptional when it comes to details so even if you voice his calm, your facial expressions can be saying a completely different thing. i get down to his level and during a tantrum i'll say now we can either do this or we can do that.... he knows now that those are his 2 choices and it's all in his control to choose what we do next. also, physical exercise is wonderful for these kids, it gives them a release for pent up frustration/ anxiety. constant interaction will hinder the process of going into their own little worldSally,
I completely understand your frustration. My dd is going on 4 and the last 2 years have been a rollercoaster of emotions. The last 2 weeks of school, I dreaded waking up everyday. The morning was a full on raging tantrum over clothes, toys, backpacks, who put on her shoes, wrong color cup, etc... I thought I was going to lose my mind. It turns out, the medication she was on for an ear infection was the culprit. I took her off of it (a no-no) and immediately she changed back to herself. I think journaling her behavior will help you to track anything that could be the problem. Many times, I can attribute the behavior to something going on, but there are times, I am speechless and feel completely helpless. I don't have a lot of advise, but I thought you might want to know that this is something I see also. It is terrifying and frustrating because you want your child to be happy. Some of the triggers you were talking about (moving the cup) are exactly the things that can lead to a meltdown for us too. It's strange that a disorder that calls for so much predictability can be so unpredictable. I think that sounds right? I know what I'm trying to say - maybe not the best description I could offer. Hang in there! We see the same thing here.
Im with you all in the same boat. mason's tantrums have turned into meltdowns in the last two weeks since his brother has been out of preschool now. it has messed up his routine and he is not use to his brother being home all day. i am ready to pull out my hair. mason is getting over stimulated by his older brother and just looses it for about an hour. he is getting tired but wont lay down and rest. and at night he wakes up 3-4 times crying in his sleep.
the newest thing since his brother has been home is if his toys are not in the right place or his cars are not in the correct bucket. he will cry until it is fixed.
DS has just started having tantrums this past week- so I have no real advice, just empathy. Anytime we say a toy is "all-done" because we have to eat or go out he has a tantrum.Oh yes I understand this sallys. It sounds like you are sort of where I have been. Ds will be good for a couple days and I'm thinking all the rest was a phase and he's fine. Then he'll have his really odd days, and then bad days. A couple of days ago he threw a huge fit over something I found irrational. Now ds is the type to have very frequent tantrums, but often they are mild and not too long. Every so often though he flips out over nothing. I think he was overwhelmed as we had doc appt that was distressing and other issues that day. Here's how this one went:
I have a juice box I just opened for myself. Ds has his own drink but comes over wanting a drink of mine. I hold it out to offer him a sip, forgetting this makes him mad. I don't know why, but you can't hold it while he drinks. You have to set it down and then he picks it up to drink and hands it back. Every once in awhile he will let you hand it to him if you take your hands away. Anyhow...I reach out to let him drink and so he starts to kick and whine. That's the start. So I realize what's happening and I quickly set the drink on the coffee table for him. Nope...too late. When he's mad nothing fixes it. Just like you said above. So now he smacks the drink off the table and on the floor. I pick it up and try to hand it to him. Now he's screaming his lungs out. He's biting his hands and arms. He's trying to kick over the coffee table and knocking things off the tables. He is picking up toys and chucking them. It went on for 20 mins. Nothing would make him happy so we picked him up and put him in his crib and left. He screamed a bit, but calmed down on his own.
I just wanted to share this with you to show you I understand. It's hard to watch and harder even to understand sometimes. Sounds like you're going through a rough spot. I hope it calms soon. Best wishes.
Amber
Your descripton of DD sounds EXACTLY like my daughter (NK), it's almost scary how similar. NK is currently 3 yrs, 4 mo. We suspect it is Autism but when she's going through her good periods she is so lucid that we're lulled into thinking things are ok. She hasn't been diagnosed yet. I noticed your post is from last year. What was the diagnosis for your daughter?The ups and downs are so emotionally draining!
Kyle has had 3 really "good" periods. They have all occurred in the last 2 years. The good times seem to last about a month. He seems so much more in tune with us. I can have real conversations, etc...
Then, the regression seems to happen gradually. :( I'm not sure what to make of it.
Michelle
I HEAR YA!!! You say you don't have an official diagnosis. COuld it be that, without the dx, you are secretly hoping this will go away? Perhaps an official dx will allow you to leave behind your emotional ups and downs and accept that your daughter has a neurological problem the symptoms of which generally show up in her behavior. Acceptance of what is really going on with your daughter is the first step toward helping her and yourself. If you suspect that an official diagnosis will help, please pursue it.Im there!!
My ds does the same thing it always used to have us scrambling trying to find the cause.
Is it a new food ?,something at school?,anything we are doing?
We never found a thing ,We just wasted time,now we try to stop it befor it starts.
Zack always picks a fight when he gets home from daycare!!,He is looking for that reliese he gets from tantruming,we try to keep him very structured when he gets home.we do some things to rev him up,then some relaxation.
If he has to much free play he cant handle it ,on week days he only has one hour of free play a day,and only if i think he can handle it.
This helped alot,If we limit his free play,he seemes happier.
Hope this helps,Linda
Chris is 13 and after school we have what we call destressing time it takes a child a lot to them selves together like at daycare or school even church so anyhow Chris has to go in his room door closed and he roll up tight in his blanket and close off all input after about 45 min. i hear mom thirsty and the door is opened at night I put J&J bed time bath in his tub and that helps a lot to seems to settle him a little more . let us know how things are going we all have been there and probably will be again
just a mom
Copyright Autism-PDD.net