Worst nightmare | Autism PDD

This is just so sad and wrong! I do not know even what to say. But you have made me curious about Homeschooling. I'd like to hear if anyone has had good results from Homeschooling an ASD child, maybe ones with behaviors and bullying issues. Not that that is the best answer, but if you were in a school who you did not trust or would not do the right thing by your asd child & you got so tired of all the fighting/meetings. Just wondering. Thank you for sharing your story. This could happen to many of us here & we need to hear of these things!

My 13 year old Asperger had been bullied at Public School another younger child. He came home frustrated every day because the kids wouldn't leave him alone. In Oct he decided to take things in his own hands since the school could not provide him with assistance during free times and was left literally on his own.

He took a knife to school in his backpack and when he was playing basketball got hit in the head with the ball by the boy that had been bugging him. He took the knife out and waved it in the air and was told to put it back which he did. The school's vice principal called the sheriff, had him make a statement and signed it and the sheriff took him and booked him on 3 felonies: possession, threatening with a weapon, and having a weapon at school. The sheriff asked if he had a disability and the office personnel "didn't know", he's been on an IEP since grade school.

He ended up in juvenille hall for 3 days, and then the county mental health attorney got him into a group home at which time we were able to finally see our son. My poor son who is afraid of the dark, has eating issues and taken to a strange place without any contact. We went to court a month later at which time the county attorney relayed that he would stay in the group home until 12 Jan at which time he recommends keeping him there to rehabilitate and try and get the DA off our back and try to get all charges dropped. Meanwhile, I have to put up with the fact that my son has been pulled out of our care.

My husband and I have done everything possible to get him help. This year we retained a school attorney and had a behaviorist and therapist and then this happens. We are beside ourselves, we can't believe this has happened to our family. We are Air Force veterans and Civil Service employees and have always been actively involved with our sons well being. If any one has any suggestions from the state of California's view or the county of Kern, please respond.

It seems that once the legal system gets envolved all your rights are taken away. We want to go after the school for calling the sheriff for an incident that could have been prevented and handled more appropriately. My son cooperated with the teachers and sheriff and was still taken away. He probably thought they were going to help him. This got so out of hand.

We have a District Attorney that won't let this one go, even though the court stated that because of his disability he would not be able to represent himself. I don't know why the attorney representing my son from the center couldn't have had him home that very day. He said in order to get the DA to drop the charges he needed to have him kept at the home. The same services should have been provided here in our neighborhood and at his home.

We've been very upset not having him home for Halloween, Thanksgiving and now Christmas. The attorney representing my son said he wouldn't be coming home anytime soon. They have to keep him and rehabilitate him and we are to receive classes as well. This I've got to see. I've been all over the internet trying to get help on this one.
If I had it to do all over again, I'd have HOMESCHOOLED just like all the genius's in this category.

Aspie1339060.9431712963

I've not been able to hook up with anyone on the links yet, They are Eastern and we are Pacific time and I haven't been home in time to call. I've been told they will give me 4 hrs alone with my son Christmas eve or day by appointment. Lot of good that is when you're an 1hr away. The insanity of this game with the regional center just takes the cake! It's bad enough that they didn't get him off on the felony charges and they are holding that over our heads to keep him under their control. I'm so depressd over this.

If I were in your position, I'd max out all of my available credit and hire a new attorney. Even a public defender would be better than the one Regional Center has provided for you.IBGECKO39071.9702546296Have you tried contacting anyone through the links I posted?

Just returned from IEP in Bakersfield where my son is being held in Group Home. My God, the had so many specialist through that "Opportunity School" program attending to my son at the county seat, than we've ever received. They had RSP, OT, Speach Specialist, Psychologist, head of School. He was tested in depth and had so many needs finally identified and so many resources offered I was flabbergasted. If our kids were getting all their needs met, they would be doing so good. Now, I view our schools as totally negligent in the care of children with disabilities and not taking initiative to provide the care needed to be successful.

My son has a writing problem, no sweat, we'll provide him with a laptop! He needs to learn social cues, no kidding. He has a speach impediment that the was not diagnosed. So, they want to keep him in a "neutral environment" why, because we're bad parents! The resources are there, not the emotional support of parents but, that doesn't matter according to the Regional Center, all he needs is the school setting. He's in a resource room of six and they each have a cublicle, reminds me of the office!

So, Mulygal, we are going with our guns loaded to court on 10 Jan and I hope you make a lot more demands.

I wanted my son to be in the least restricted environment this year because he wanted to be treated like a big boy. He put up with so much at that school with his disability, I can't believe how much effort it took him to pull off the good grades he did get. The school denied him everything he was entitled to. Small school setting, aides during free time, between classes and lunch, didn't follow up on IEP assessments. No one was there to protect him from all those kids, from all different walks of life, from teasing and harrassing him; the noise or the caos. So he takes a knife to school to protect himself, to make them leave him alone and he fully cooperates with school personnel and sheriff and instead of getting help, he gets thrown into juvenile hall, a group home and no counselor to help him through it. Be Careful what you ask for and be sure all your ducks are in place. So the school is denying services, here sign your name to that effect, make them accountable. This has been such a horror story that everything is being taken out on my son and family because of the schools negligence. Please be careful and hay, if you have to stay home and home school it's better than having to go through what we have been through.

We have nothing to loose, we have a criminal law attorney and are going to try and slam dunk the county for their failure to provide services and appropriate education for our son and stop our son from being victomized. Thanks for reply, working on it. We're taking this IEP to compare with his prior IEP and the lack of followup services that got my son into this situation.

I'm glad to hear you have a criminal attorney, and are going after the school district. A good attorney should be licking his chops to go after the district on this case. You should go after non-public school funding, so you can send your child to any school you want. I look forward to hearing a happy ending to this story in the coming months, especially the part about your son finally getting all the services he is entitled!I think that's great. My son had so many unique interests and learned so much on his own. He's very creative. The schools have had a terrible impact on him and I would just love to go back to that inquisitive time and persue all those unique interests and abilities. You go!Here's a link for tuition-free home schooling in California http://www.caliva.org/dg/dg_ca.html?se=Google&campaign=K 12_Job_379_California&adgroup=Virtual_Academy&kw=hom e_school

I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. How terrified your son must be having to be away from home. This is the exact thing I worry about every day for my son. He's 8 and is bullied almost daily now and it scares me to think that one day he will just snap and hurt someone.

I hope he comes home soon. What a horrible system to take a child away from his parents for trying to protect himself. Did anything happen to the other boy for hitting him with the ball?

Here are some contacts to see if you can get some help.

Organization of Protection & Advocacy (part of National Disabilities Rights Network)
www.napas.org (202) 408-9514

Judge David Bazelon - works with Center for Mental Health Law
www.Bazelon.org (202) 467-5730

Good luck, and I'm thinking of you and hoping you get your son back ASAP.
IBGECKO39063.9375347222 [QUOTE=Aspie13][QUOTE=sisterchick][QUOTE=momofasdkid]

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We have always homeschooled our 7 yr old aspie. Honestly, it's the best thing for him. We've been able to allow him to take new challenges at his own pace, and make friends on his own terms and now the average person can't see a huge difference between him and a neurotypical child. It's not for everyone but we love it and Deuce says that he never wants to go to school. (He has a cousin that has told him what school is like and he says it would be too loud and chaotic for him. I agree.)

The most important thing is to make sure to make available social opportunities. Most of the time my son wouldn't choose to socialize, but if he was at an activity he liked (science classes, art classes, cub scouts or anything like that) he will talk to the other kids there and make friends because they obviously have a shared interest. I know of many parents that homeschool children on the spectrum and they all say it's the best thing for them.

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I've only been homeschooling for 1 1/2 years, and while my son's not autistic, he does have sensory, speech, and social issues. These partially stem from fluid on the ears/hearing loss for almost two years as a baby, but a lot of it's just who he is. When his little sister was doing all the autism screening (she's PDD-NOS) and I was checking off all the social and speech boxes, I remembered how he was at age two and realized I could have checked off everything else on the list for him back then.

Tubes, toncilletomy, and lots of speech therapy made of big difference, but he's still just who he is (I get a lot of "Oh . . . he's one of *those*," and "He's such a . . . boy."). So:

#1 This is the kind of thing I worry about. He's 6 1/2 and has no official diagnosis, but being on the tall and burly side (and still mostly unable to explain what happened in a situation) he's usually blamed for any conflict he's involved with. I mean, he *looks* pretty normal, just active, emotional and opinionated (you know, "he's just spoiled"). Fortunately his close friends know better, but unless he lucked out and got the perfect teacher, I think my sensitive, emotional, physical child would get eaten alive by public school and I'd spend more time in parent-teacher conferences than I do with homeschool.

#2 Which is why it was a little weird to send my 3 yr old off to public school. She's resilient and social -- if you can get her to make eye contact -- and is thriving in her developmental preschool. They've asked if I want to apply for full day next year, and I probably will since social and speech are her two overwhelming delays. I'm really conflicted about what to do after that. If they want to put her in a regular classroom, I may pull her out and just do lots of supplemental social, but I'm just not sure -- she's a different kid.

#3 But about the homeschool - I think it would completely depend on you, your child, and the *kind* of homeschooling you want to do. I have a friend whose son is HFA, and she can't imagine keeping him home, but he's still 5 and in special programs all week, not fighting with a standard public school class. I have another friend who's dyslexic and *hated* public school -- she was the kid who could not get the diagnosis or help she needed and just kept falling farther and farther behind until her parents pulled her out and let her homeschool at her own pace. My youngest sibs got to homeschool a few years (dad was seriously ill) through a 'show up once a week to go over your work and plan out the next weeks curriculum' program and (for the first time) thrived academically. (I have one of *those* families -- lots of right brain/hfa traits and undiagnosed learning disorders). I have friends who do the same literature based curriculum I do 3 - 4 days a week and do a special co-op full day as well. I couldn't get that to work with my schedule this year, so we do 4 day a week homeschool (to match little sister's schedule -- she's impossible to work around), he has a pragmatic conversation class once a week through the school district (I might push for more), we have regular playdates with other homeschool friends. He plays with the neighborhood kids when they get out of school (for his "you're weird . . . but there's no one else to play with so let's go" time) and we got to Bible class twice a week for his "sit there and raise your hand like a good little drone" time.

He loves it. It took me over a year to teach him how to rhyme, but once he started figuring out reading we were able to put almost everything else on hold and let him use his obsessive tendecies to his advantage. Granted, I know far more about basilisk lizards and ratites than I ever wanted to, but he's *reading*. No, he can't write his name so it fits on that little line, but his letters usually face the right direction now. So his math isn't developing "normally" -- it's developing. And I'm able to slow down and spend more time on something he needs help with, take a break for a week if he's just overwhelmed, or fast foward a few levels when he suddenly "gets" something and needs to be challenged.

I'm just really loving it for him right now. He's not a easy kid who just sits and does what you tell him to, but he still *loves* to learn and I really don't want to see that beaten out of him.

He doesn't have the same issues as his sister -- and I'm just going to have to wait and see what she needs when she starts kindergarten. (Though if I could have her in a developmental program half days and homeschool the other half, that'd be *perfect*.) But when I think about what I want long term for both of them for schooling it's: learning how to function as an adult (hold down a job, make it through college, have relationships); getting a functional education (to enable the job and the college); and (hopefully) learning how to learn and how to *love* to learn. I look at the people my DH works with (he's at Google) and I think -- okay -- they just need to be *that* functional. I want them to love their brains (they both take after DH) and their intellegence and they're unique skills and be functional enough to use them productively. Maybe he'll want to start public school in a few years, and maybe I'll feel he's grounded enough to do it.

Or maybe not ;-)

Aspie13 -- your story just wanted to make me cry. We'll be praying for you, that your son is able to come home soon and get the help he needs. I just kept thinking "that could be my son".

(Sorry for the rambling)
My sister had an excellent idea about how to get some action for your situation: Get in touch with a local politician, and the media, and get them involved. Fight fire with fire. She is going to look up a website that can help you get started with this. I'll post it later.Thanks hi im knew here.hello anobody hereYes, we are here, and whole-heartedly welcome you, it's just that you've chosen an odd place for your introduction. This is a section dedicated to education issues, and a thread devoted to one parents nightmare that she is going through with her school district and legal system. Here is a more appropriate thread to introduce yourself http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1925& ;PN=1 I homeschool in combo with a co-op type of thing it works well because he really gets the 1 on 1 he needs and we can go at his pace.[QUOTE=IBGECKO] Mary Beth,

Has anyone ever told you about AB3632 services for your son? These are services, provided free of charge through the State Department of Mental Health (California), and include all the psychological and psychiatric a services your child needs. They even provide some social skills services. If your child's mental health issues are impacting him academically (which obviously they are, since he cannot even attend his regular school right now), then he qualifies for AB3632. Call an emergancy IEP immediately, and request this service. Of course, the State Department of Mental Health will send their minions, who will do an evaluation of your son, and assess his current situation. I see no problems with your son receiving services. My son received AB3632 services because his anxiety was so high, he was pulling his hair out, just to give an example.

Since you only have one week until Christmas break, go to the school on Monday, and try to fast track an IEP. Unfortunately, you probably won't be able to get an IEP until after winter break, but get the ball rolling immediately. Does your son have a 1:1 aide at school? This is another way to help keep a handle on the bullying as well. If he doesn't have any learning disabilities it may be a fight to get one, and having an aide doesn't make the problem disappear, but it is another adult who will be around your son all the time, and can at least bear witness to what is going on.

For what it's worth, I'm not surprised by the school's actions, even given your son's dx. What I am surprised by is the District Attorney not taking his dx into consideration. That is appalling. I would suggest getting a new attorney to represent you. Preferably one with experience with autism. As far as the school goes, I don't see as though they legally had any choice but to bring in the Sheriff, regardless of your son's dx. My son was suspended for two days, and a Sheriff's report was filed, because he was being bullied in a classroom, and he picked up a pencil and said, "Don't make me use this"! They considered the pencil to be a weapon!

I agree that you need to look into new options as far as school's go. Personally, I'm not a big fan of home schooling for Aspies, but every situation and family are different. Have you considered moving to a different school district? You can also move him to another, non-resident school within your district that may be a better fit for him. That's what we did. And the school must provide door to door bus service to get him there as well.

Good luck, and please keep us updated.
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He was with the regional services that's how we got the "special ed attorney" to get him out of jouveille hall to boys home. The district attorney still considers him a threat to society. The AB services here that my son belonged to were, as far as I was concerned, inadequate and didn't provide the essential services needed, thus we had our own counselor via my husband's insurance. I talked to their psychiatrist was a gerk and was really put off, they don't really get Asperger's. They had a social skills group over the summer was not notified but, not impressed by their programs. We need an aid that can work with him out on the battle ground, with all the nasty brats in the world that attend the school and help keep him safe and protected. That didn't happen in the last IEP, the school refused and admitted it at the last meeting and said he could go to their "opportunity school" where all the trouble makers go, for 3 hours a day. As a working mom that doesn't sit well and he should be involved in activities and social functions with assistance. Unfortunately, we got too little, too late and my son and family have had to suffer for the incompetance of this district. We've retained a criminal lawyer for K, our savings is gone and we are now in debt.

Our son is still not home and the DA doesn't give a damn that he has a disability and if it was up to her he would be incarcerated.

What a scary and heartbreaking situation. I hope that your son is able to come home very soon. Hugs...[QUOTE=momofasdkid]

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Again, you may want to look into a move to a new school district if you are able. We have another poster here, Screeech 2001, who lives in Kern County, and she has had nothing but trouble as well. I'm well south of you in L.A. Unified School District, and Northern L.A. County Regional Center, and though we have had a few bumps along the way, for the most part I've been very satisfied with the services we have received and the progress my son has made. I hope you are reunited with your son for the holidays, and please keep us updated on your situation.

I'm so sorry ... I don't know what to say. This is something that I worry about for my children when they get to the teen years. Right now my 4 and 7 YO's don't have to deal with this yet, but I worry about when they will

[QUOTE=sisterchick][QUOTE=momofasdkid]

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[/QUOTE] I really wish we had homeschooled. He wouldn't have been battered by all the perscription drugs that messed him up so he could be attentive at school, the bad feelings of being expelled and teased, it is such a brutal climate to throw a sensitive child into. I go to the IEPs the bell rings and there's this roar of commotion and all the mixed batch of kids to contend with. If I had it to do all over again, I would have protected my gifted child and homeschooled and quit my job to stay home. He is more important to me than the things in life. Thanks for all the replies Mary Beth,

Has anyone ever told you about AB3632 services for your son? These are services, provided free of charge through the State Department of Mental Health (California), and include all the psychological and psychiatric a services your child needs. They even provide some social skills services. If your child's mental health issues are impacting him academically (which obviously they are, since he cannot even attend his regular school right now), then he qualifies for AB3632. Call an emergancy IEP immediately, and request this service. Of course, the State Department of Mental Health will send their minions, who will do an evaluation of your son, and assess his current situation. I see no problems with your son receiving services. My son received AB3632 services because his anxiety was so high, he was pulling his hair out, just to give an example.

Since you only have one week until Christmas break, go to the school on Monday, and try to fast track an IEP. Unfortunately, you probably won't be able to get an IEP until after winter break, but get the ball rolling immediately. Does your son have a 1:1 aide at school? This is another way to help keep a handle on the bullying as well. If he doesn't have any learning disabilities it may be a fight to get one, and having an aide doesn't make the problem disappear, but it is another adult who will be around your son all the time, and can at least bear witness to what is going on.

For what it's worth, I'm not surprised by the school's actions, even given your son's dx. What I am surprised by is the District Attorney not taking his dx into consideration. That is appalling. I would suggest getting a new attorney to represent you. Preferably one with experience with autism. As far as the school goes, I don't see as though they legally had any choice but to bring in the Sheriff, regardless of your son's dx. My son was suspended for two days, and a Sheriff's report was filed, because he was being bullied in a classroom, and he picked up a pencil and said, "Don't make me use this"! They considered the pencil to be a weapon!

I agree that you need to look into new options as far as school's go. Personally, I'm not a big fan of home schooling for Aspies, but every situation and family are different. Have you considered moving to a different school district? You can also move him to another, non-resident school within your district that may be a better fit for him. That's what we did. And the school must provide door to door bus service to get him there as well.

Good luck, and please keep us updated.
IBGECKO39061.502962963One more thought. Does your son receive service through Regional Center? I would contact your local Regional Center immediately as well. If he had Regional Center services, you Coordinator could be helping you with this situation as well. Here's a link to a directory of Regional Centers http://www.dds.ca.gov/rc/rclist.cfm No, he was sent home that day and as far as I know after making a written statement at the school, was released to his parents. He stated he threw the ball and my son and friend said he hit it off his knee and it hit my son in the head. The friend of my son said it was an accident this time, then why did he lie in his statement and the fact that he had been bothering my son for some time that he felt he had to bring a knife to school to stop it because no one does anything to help him. My son was calm and cooperative, the police should not have been called and the school didn't inform the police he had an IEP and a disability, "they didn't know what was wrong with him. So, after the police booked him for 3 felonies he was out of their hands and now tied up in the legal system.

When a child with a disability (classified in spec. ed. or 504) is being harassed in school by other children or by the adult employees (yes, this happens), the parents need to write a Gebser Notice to the schools. This is based on a sexual harassment of the disabled court decision, but it applies to ANY harassment in school based on disability. What the parents have to say in the letter (put GEBSER NOTICE in bold as the heading) is that their child has been repeatedly and pervasively harassed (give some examples) by (name/s) and the harassment has been based on the child's disability. In fact, the harassment has been SO severe that your child is not getting access to FAPE (free, appropriate public education) because he's afraid to go to school or he's so distracted by this child or some such reason the child is not getting proper access to an education. You, the parent, expect the school to take note and stop the harassment. You expect them to keep your child SAFE (use this word -- it's important, according to our lawyer/instructor). Send this to the Superintendent, the Principal, the Teacher, the Director of Spec. Ed. and ONE school board member. Of course, keep a copy yourself and start a chronological file of ALL interaction you have with the school on this. Follow up each and every phone call with an email or fax or letter that summarizes what was said and keep this paper trail in the file. If there is even ONE MORE incident of harassment, give the school a 10 day notice that you are reacting to their DELIBERATE INDIFFERENCE by pulling your son out of school and parentally placing him in a private school and you will be bringing them to a hearing for reimbursement. OF course, at this point you'll need a good education attorney. If you put the harassment on record BEFORE it rises to the point of violence on the part of YOUR child, your child and you will be protected, based on IDEA. Under IDEA, once a severe behavior has occured, your child will be "tried" at a hearing in the school district by a hearing officer appointed by the school, the same way NT kids are for breeches of discipline so severe that they will result in a long suspension or worse (this is separate from any outside charges). If the child is found to be guilty of committing the act, there then has to be a Manifestation Determination (specific to kids classified into special education or who have a 504 -- or should) to see if his action was a manifestation of his disability. If it was, he cannot be punished by the school for his action and they MUST provide him with better services. What's more, this provides a much better basis for legal defense against outside charges.

tzoya39093.2606018518Good for you! Any advise or help in preventing something like this is warranted. Be assertive, proactive and make sure you give them in writing what your needs are and what the school district denied and if your needs are not met, please do pull your child from that school until there is some action taken. When your a fumbling parent and don't know what to ask for or how to ask for assistance your IEP will not meet your needs. I hate having to find out by making mistakes and this was a costly one. An aide or ground attendent should be there for an Aspie child when social cues are not understood. My son felt helpless, no when would see the harrassment and it would go unreported and he felt he had no choice but to handle it himself by threatening the child aggravating him. If he had had an aide that knew what to look for and how to react he wouldn't be in this situation. Also, the school was extremely negligent in not letting authorities know about his disability. We have talked the the Regional Center about their legal advisor and their over riding control ("What about the Lanterman Act") and they promised to look into the case, we have also contacted the Advocacy group PAI.org, Thanks

Mary Beth

This gives me the chills. I have a son in jr high in California and this really scares me. I am with the other poster. Call the media, call you local politician, get a civil attorney, whatever it takes to get this child back into your home! These situations can cause horrible regression! This is terrible and my prayers will be with you and your son!

God Bless You and Your Child!

Holidays sucked, had 4 hr "unescorted" visitation with son. Went to court today to determine my son's placement armed with criminal attorney and letters from his behaviorialist, school attorney and counselor to no avail. Regional Center attorney made the decision that my son would be better served in Bakersfield at a group home with more troubled children than in a stable home environment! I can't believe this nightmare will just not come to an end. I told the judge I'd quit working to be home with my son 24/7 and that all the same services would be provided for my son at his home and the flippen Regional Center attorney was the only one the Judge listened to, "because their center has done so much for the mentally ill in the communitee". I am so mad, I called the Regional Center staff making decisions about my family and reemed them out for allowing their attorney to make such lowsy decisions and pull the rug out from under our feet to get their agenda accomplished. They've been given a blank check out here, whether their right or wrong to keep their group homes full of messed up kids from severe to high functioning. My son has had to put up with so much, I'm just sick. I contacted the PAI person and he said he was going to look into this and see if they could help represent us and have not heard from him all week. I told him the situation was the regional center's control and not so much the public defender, DA, for which this whole mess started out from.