OK my dd is being doing pretty good at school until the last 3 days I get a note sent home stating that my dd told a teacher and a student that " I am going to hurt you." So the aid asked my help in what to do. I have Never heard my dd use this phrase even in her worst meltdowns or just being plan angry. Iam concerned about it. She has been home with us and she doesnt play with neighbor kids just the ones at school. All I told the aid is I have never heard her say that and what was the situation that is happend in? All she told me is that she has said it to students and teachers. I am concerned is this some I should be concerned about. I am not sure how to handle it. What would ya'll do?
I WOULD MNITOR HER AT AND HOME AND OTHER PLACES AND SEE IF YOU NOTICE A DIFFERNCE IN HER MOOD AND SO FORTH. IF IT'S ONLY AT SCHOOL MAYBE SOMETHING IS HAPPENING THAT NEEDS TO BE LOOKED INTO.I agree with Tonygirl. This just really depends on what the situation is when she is saying it. She may not even be saying it appropriatly, like when someone is doing something she doesn't like. She could just be saying this. I'm tyring to be positive, so I would definatly want to know what the situation was.BUMPINGIf she is saying that to them while she is upset, but not with you, she probably feels insecure. My daughter may get upset with us, but I know what to expect and how to calm her. But its different at school. They have a different set of expectations (as I was told by some teachers), and that can be very upsetting to a child when away from mom.
My daughter seems to have behavior cycles. The past 3 years in school I have noticed this, as has the staff. She does very well, but then stress over different things causes her to act up. It can be anything from having recess inside due to incelment weather, additional work load inside the class, workers fixing the outside of the school, or new kids in class. Can you meet with the teacher and aide to find out exactly what the situation is, what led up to it, how many others were there, and how the situation was resolved? Once you find out all the specifics maybe you can figure out what is going on. I have had to meet with the staff, find out exactly what was triggering the episodes, and make a game plan with the staff to minimize these issues in the future. Good luck, its never easy.
Don't feel bad about what she is saying, she probably saw it or heard it somewhere. A few weeks ago, I told my daughter not to do something, and she said she was sorry for being a dirtbag. That was a bit upsetting, but I later found out she heard it on the Fairly Odd Parents. She also begs us not sell her or give her away when she is acting up. It used to make me want to cry and I would explain how that would never happen, etc. Now I ask her to stop using her imagination and remember the rules. If I don't do that, she gets really animated and the begging not to be sold gets out of hand.
It could be her way of changing the subject if they are putting demands on her that she can't handle or doesn't know how to respond. She may be feeling upset or stressed in school. I'd def try to find our the cause of this behaviour, there may be something bothering her.I would IMMEDIATELY ask for an FBA in writing. A functional behavioral assessment will pinpoint the reason your daughter is saying what she's saying. It could simply be echolalic (she heard another child say it) or she could have been TAUGHT that by saying it she gets out of what's frustrating her because all the adults get flustered and forget to insist she do what they asked. It could be any number of reasons. Since you never hear this at home, you can't enlighten them. Ask for that FBA and insist that a postive behavior plan be put in place based on the results. The real truth is that a positive behavior plan trains the adults in school at least as much as it trains the child. I got a little bit more information. The aid claims its when my dd is very upset. It doesnt make sense to me because over the weekend she has got very upset with us because she couldnt have something and she never said that to us. Are they putting words into her mouth. It just upsets me that I cant be there when this stuff happens.