Cyndie,
Sorry to hear how your being jerked around. I wish I had good advice.
I can offer you a
If you need to talk PM me or YM. Nelle Cyndie GOOD JOB standing up to them and saying NO! The more you allow them visits whenever they ask the worse it will be on you in court to show it causes troubles for Christian. He needs consistency. Kids on the spectrum dont bounce around too well on spur of the moment plans. Can you get him a private therapist? Someone to help you set up some schedules for Christian and some boundries? If you WANT to allow the grandparents a visit for Christians sake.... Do so in what will be in HIS best interest. NOT THEIRS! Our kids have special needs... special circumstances..... I know my life and schedules have had to change for what was best for Tyler if I wanted him to progress...... Family is going to have to understand it and accept it or too bad! KEEP YOUR DOCUMENTATION on behaviors Christian has daily, sleep times, seizures, EVERYTHING (school related as well) and also keep track of when other family members call and ask to see him and stop over to vist and so forth. If it is having a negative effect on Christian you will see a pattern and NO COURT can argue with that. STOP allowing them to control you and use christian. It sounds like they act as though you are still married to Alex. Just call and expect you to come over and drop Christian off. If Grandma babysits then make sure it is a set schedule. She babysits every x days from x time to x time. If you want to allow her every saturday from 9Am to noon to do errands then arrange it that way with her. But you need to tell her that this is too much on christian and it is not helping him! I would say if she is doing you the favor of watching him for babysitting.... you should drop him off and pick him up unless shes willing to do it (maybe droppin g him off is easy because she goes out at that time and its on her way as an example) Otherwise if you WANT to allow her visits as I said SCHEDULE them and have her pick him up and drop him off on time. I would recommend you put this in writing to her and SAVE A COPY. Send it to her certified would be best. You need to tell her Christian has been diagnosed with X, Y, X in order for him to make as much progress as possible he needs consistency predictability structure routine etc etc. Mention you would like to have him be able to continue seeing her but he needs a set schedule so help him calm and relax to reduce his anxiety stress frustration (whatever applies). Mention in the past this has happened (sporadic calls for visists and how it affects him) and that your goal (as you are sure his is too) is to do what is best for him. Make sure you tell her you are not trying to stop them from seeing him... just trying to make it more predictable for him and whats in his best interest. Leave Alex out of it.... this is between you and the grandparents. With Alex,... as I said before allow ONLY what the previous decision was until your lawyer gives further instruction. Phone calls you have to allow during reasonable hours... but you dont have to allow or tolerate drop by visits.... and if the grandparents are asking for him in order to arrange visits with his father,... then you need to stop it and go back to what I said about SCHEDULED visits. YOU control it..... politely. for the best interest of Christian. AND DOCUMENT EVERYDAY!!!!! STOP IT NOW before this is a set pattern that he can use against you in court.... (Well judge she was letting me see him whenever I wanted to for the first month after I came back from jail I dont understand how its suddenly a problem now. She must be jealous of my new girlfriend, and that I wont get back together with her) See how it can be made to sound? Try reversing it and think what you would say to defend yourself if you were him. SPECIAL EVENTS like weddings and family reunions etc need to be planned ahead of time and you notified with as much notice as possible minimum notice beign at least 3 weeks notice to plan your schedule and prepare Christian for a change in schedule. They dont HAVE TO BE allowed.... but it would be in everyones best interest if you tried to accommodate special requests it shows you are trying and not just out to get him and be vindictive. DOCUMENT IT I would ask the attorney about modifying your current visitation agreement and bring proof of any new changes that negatively affect Christian. GOOD LUCK CYNDIE HANG IN THERE!!!
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