Why I never noticed | Autism PDD

Hi Amber, I have a 6 y/o NT son also. He surpassed every milestone from the time he was born and continues to amaze me today. He even taught himself to ride a bike WITHOUT training wheels the day after he turned 3 years old! When all the signs started showing for Jakob maybe being autisic, I would tell myself (and others), he's just layed back and slow because his big brother is SOOO overwhelming. That was before I knew ANYTHING about autism. Wow, how sweet life was only 4 months ago for me, when I lived in "no autism awareness" land Only 4 months ago, I had no worries about Jakob's future. I also went through a time when I would just see him do sooo many NORMAL things and think "he's just too normal to be autistic". It's the inconsistency of the normal behavior though. Which after a lot of reading, and coming to grips with the disorder, I now realize. I so hope for you that Aiden is just not a "people person" and I also hope you can get that answer soon. I remember what the worrying and wondering was like, although I didn't have to do it for very long before I got a dx.

Sometimes knowing early doesn't make a difference. When my ds was a couple mos old, I knew something was not right since he didn't respond to noise. After hearing tests came back normal, drs said don't worry even after the third test after three yrs!

My mother and I knew it was more and we both have worked with children with autism so we suspected right from the hearing test that it was many possibilities.

It still took me till he turned 5 yrs for a doctor to take notice.

Most professionals said, don't worry, he is just anti-social, he will talk he is choosing not to... or my fav, after he ripped off a finger nail and walked away, I was told he was just having so much fun he didn't notice?!!?

It's great you see progress :) :) That means you are doing a great job as a parent :)

Oh Amber I have also layed awake at night thinking the same things!!!! Heck my whole family had me convinced for a year that he was a spoiled brat who just needed disipline, I did not push for a dx for him until he was 4 and I regret that everyday because he could have gotten the help he needed sooner and might be able to be mainstreamed into public school for kindergarten.Not that it's a good thing from what i have heard lately!!

Amber

My Dh and I thought the same thing. When we really look back we see the behaviours from birth even! how did we miss it. I think some of the problem for us, was when you think Autism, you think Rain man, and forest gump, and Owen isn't quite that severe. Well for a 2 year old. If his behaviour never changes, and he stays at a 2 year old level and is 30, he may seem like rain man I donno.

Owen was evaluated to be at a 6,9 mnth old level, It was when he was 12 mnths that we started questioning, thinking maybe he is just behind..by 18mnths we NEW something was wrong, this seems to be when a lot of people start to notice.

Sometimes I look back, too, and think of all the ways my son was 'different' -- but that's mostly after he turned 1 y/o. Before then, he was incredibly alert and sociable ... people everywhere remarked at how alert he was! He used to flirt with all the waitresses and cashiers. However, there were a few other traits that were 'odd': like how he'd want to stand on our laps and JUMP (we'd have to support him, of course) for a LONG time and he was rather cholic-y (sp?) until almost 4 mos. Otherwise, he seemed quite healthy. He ate everything under the sun ... in fact, he started solids at 4 mos and knew exactly how to eat from a spoon! Seemed like after he turned 1, he stopped eating most of what he used to eat (as far as fruits and veggies anyway) and he became much less social. He's still very alert, but he ignores people (strangers, not anyone he knows and feels comfortable with).

Kellie
I remember having those same thoughts. Gavin would have good
days and I would think everyone who ever mentioned autism to me
was crazy. Other days I would think he MUST be autistic. Truth be
told it is just VERY difficult to tell in a 2 yr old (even for a doctor).
Gavin saw a pediatric neurologist to diagnose when he was 2 1/2
and even he would not give us a dx at that time. Not many children
have all the autistic characteristics and many nt children have several
of the characteristics with out truly being autistic. Time is the only
thing that will really answer your question. For now, just remember
you are doing all the right things by being informed and proactive.
Knowledge is Power!

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I have ds's doc appt today. I'm nervous. I'm even wondering if I'm going to be able to bring all this up when I'm not sure what I believe myself. He did so good w/ St today again. She did notice that he didn't make eye contact almost at all, but he watched her hands and interacted. He mimicked her a lot and when she made animal sounds he did the same. She brought out playdough. He was interested, but didn't seem to like the feel of it much. He'd touch it carefully and then kept wiping his hands on his shirt. He even tried to do the sign for "more" which made me excited. I dont know if he understands what it means, but since she kept making the sign and wouldn't give him what he wanted, I think he was like "alright lady I'll copy your darn hand thing just gimme what I want!" lol. He won't do it for me though. I wonder why he'll do it for a lady but not me.

Amber

Hey Amber,
Just wanted to say good luck at your Dr appt today! I definitely think
you should bring it up. What can it hurt? Even if this is just a phase
or he is shy or something, it is always good to let your doctor know
your concerns and if he/she dismisses them as silly....get a new Dr.
You know your child better than anyone and if you are concerned it
should be taken seriously. Is it your regular pediatrician? If so, he/
she can refer you to an autism specialist who can officially diagnose.
Whichever way it goes it is good to set your mind at ease so you can
move on and quit worrying or continue on getting him the help he
needs. I feel strongly about this because I put off my sons medical
diagnostic for 9 months because I keep convincing myself nothing
was wrong. I regret that now because having that diagnosis was so
freeing for me. I could finally accept it and move forward. Anyway,
hope all goes well for you today. Let us know.
Karen

My hubby and I were talking last night about how some of ds's behaviors have always been present when we look back, but why we never paid attention. Of course part of it is that we weren't looking for anything. Unless your child looks diff or is very obviously having something wrong it's easy to miss the small stuff.

But I think the main reason is that I don't really have any firsthand experience w/ young children, besides my 4 yr old dd. Now she is the one I always thought was abnormal. She's nt and everything it's not that. From the moment she was born she was holding her head up looking around. She was always so alert and had ants in her pants to walk and learn and take everything in. She was walking at 6 mths and running at 8 mths. By 1 year I could hold small conversations with her. At 2 yrs old she knew her Abc's, could count to 15, knew her shapes and colors, could speak full sentencs, etc. When the WIC office gives their little tests to make sure child is where they should be for their age, they had to give her the 3 yr old test when she was 2. She passed that. She even past much of the 4 yr old test. She is very hyper and has undying energy so it's impossible to get her to sit still all day long even for 10 mins. She does not take naps unless she's sick...not since she was 2. She just goes all day long. I'm usually wanting to pull out my hair by 5pm. lol.

So anyway, I guess because she is all I had to compare to, I assumed she is the one that's diff than most kids and ds is normal. I think that is what blinded me to any strange things and his anti social behaviors. Dd is overly social. She'll go up to complete strangers and talk about anything and everything w/out breaking so they can't hardly even get a word in lol.

Anyhow, I'm not sure the reason for this post lol. Just wanted to share my thoughts as I've been mulling things over since last night. It's just funny how I have two kids that are so different.

Amber