Sad day for me | Autism PDD

I am having a hard time today...I had an appointment to do an IQ test today for Joe. Here is some background info: I live in Cairo, Egypt and we do not have government funded services for children with difficulties like they do in the states. We have to take charge of our own problems and pay for everything. So I go to a private run center that provides all kinds of services. It is the best we have here. I am not happy with the therapy I am getting for Joe, I feel he is slipping through the cracks and I have to keep asking for more help more therapy etc.. I have decieded to go to london this summer for a full multi-disciplanary assesment with recommendations for therapy. I will then see if we can do that for Joe here in Cairo, if not I am willing to move to the U.S. DH is half american and we have a home in georgia. I am pretty sure I could get better therapy than here....Well the center in London asked me to do an I.Q. test and send it to them along with all his former reports. So today we went in for the test. The therapist doing the testing was so nice and after making Joe feel very comfortable asked me leave. In about 8 mins she came back out with this really gloomy look on her face and asked me to come back in. She said he was unable to focus or do anything she asked him to do, he was not listening, running around doing everything but what she asked him. I then gave him the directions and he did much better but she said she couldnt use that as there was too much direction for his results to reflect an accurate assesment.

I know he can do all the things she was asking but only when I explained it to him in a certain way and after repeating and struggling to get his attention....

I realised that in that setting he seems so much more "behind" than at home or with me. She said his development was very disordered (advanced in some ways and very delayed in others) she also said that the only thing she can predict is that although he might improve he would probably always be very different from his peers.  Well I was fighting back the tears and just telling myself "You already knew this, and it could be much worse" but I just felt like crying. Well then It just so happened that I was taking one of my girlfriends and her daughter (one year younger than Joe) to My daughters school to interview for the Pre K Class ( it is a private school) So off we went and she did the interview and the teacher said she did "excellent" and was probably accepted. I just wondered what it would be like if this was Joe and how excited I would be that he was starting pre k and all that entails...

I am so sorry I have rambled on and if you are still with me thank you !

I hope I can get my self together and just soldier on...

Joe's Mom,

My heart goes out to you today.  If you don't have the proper care that your son needs where you are and it is within your means to get here then I have to tell you....Georgia is a wonderful place to live.  I have not lived there since before my son was born but I do know that they have great services for special needs kids.  My sister still lives in Savannah and she is just 2 1/2 hours away from me. 

I know what you mean about evals and them not performing the same as at home.  This morning adam had an evaluation with the psychologist at the school and there were many things that he could do and say that he just wouldn't budge on.  Sometimes it's hard to bite your tongue in a situation like that.  Although with me I anticipated him not doing so well because he has had so many different evaluations since March of this year.  Also over here the worse he does.....the more help he gets.  Not that I want my son to not do well but I guess it gives me relief knowing that if he doesn't then he will qualify for things that he desperately needs. 

I know it broke your heart to hear such things about your son.  Just remember that "Different from their peers"  is not always a bad thing.  AND NO ONE really knows the outcome of our children. Children suprise us every day.  If things get really bad for you just remember to keep faith that each day will get better.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers...Take care,

Karrie

Hi Joe's Mom,

You poor dear ... I'll keep you in my prayers.  As the other people here said, remember that the evaluator is just one person with one opinion and that opinion is not necessarily the final pronouncement for your son's life!  My son, too, does very badly in new places with strange people, but given some time he usually does okay.

How difficult for you to have been present when your friend's daughter got such uplifting news immediately after your own disappointment.  Tomorrow is a new day ... hang in there.

Kellie

HI Joe's mom,

I'm sorry that you're having a tough day and know that we all have those days.I have to say that I agree with Karrie 100%, every child has tough days and taking them to a strange place, with a stranger and asking them to perform to task is very difficult for ANY child. I had  the dr who runs the autistic program that my son is involved with tell me it is nearly impossible to test the IQ of an autistic child and regardless of the outcome of the tests, it has no bearing on the childs potential.  Just know that we're here for you and I too will keep you in my prayers.

thank you all, Today I feel much more positive and I thank you for reminding me that this is not the defining experience for Joe. I am sure he will develop ( at whatever rate) and no matter what happens he is my little angel and I love him more than life itself Yep.....this all sounds famililiar!    Bryce was a very visual learner in some instances but in others like music and gleaning the dilect  out of movies  he is quite auditory!     perplexing to figure out!    My son Jacob also struggled with being able to tell his name.    He would tell everyone else's name but just didn't understand when asked for his name.   Somehow we finally got him to make the connection  after working on it quite a bit.

Duct tape!!!!!!    I have to hide mine or Bryce gets into it and uses it all for his creations!   and  I find bits of it stuck to everything!!     I actually bought him his own roll for a Christmas present one year!   He seemed to have more fun with it than the expensive toys we bought him!

Does Joe have asperger's?    You may find  books by Tony Attwood helpful.    I have found many great resources from the Autism and Asperger's publishing Co. 
www.asperger.net

We had a great ST who worked with Bryce on learning tthe abstracts among so many other skills over the years.....it really is a base that they must master to be able to understand  and learn.     Good luck!    I'll try to keep track of you but may not be back online for awhile!    OMG  it is  almost  3:30 am   and my typing is going down hill fast!   I've missed being on this site!   I'd better sign off!    Take care!     bonnie
Hi Joe's Mom!     I haven't been here in a while but read your post  and felt I should reply.     Our  boys do not test well either.    my oldest son ( now 16)  had some of the same difficulties you described with the IQ testing   when he was younger.   He showed many scattered skills....strengths in reading especially but comprehension may have been low.....other  things showed up that didn't seem to make sense.    Don't be discouraged!     My son was hyperlexic (an extremely early reader...and  asperger's dx ....although it took several years to find the aspergers dx)  He could read very well but didn't understand many of the most basic concepts, so he could not answer the questions given on the tests....unless they were given in another way as you said.    You need to test your son's understanding of basic concepts and abstract concepts such as:   over , under, beneath,  beside, around, next to, who, what , where, when, how,   etc

When you can understand which concepts he does not understand you can work on getting him to understand them and answering questions and tests will become easier.    Then you will get a clearer picture of his IQ....I wouldn't let it get you to bent out of shape!       Your son can do very well!    You can help him fit in!   I have had experiences with Drs who are very negative about my son's future.....he has proven them wrong many times!    In kindegarten one tried to tell me he was borderline mentally retarded because of his poor testing like you described ( we knew this wasn't true as he had so many strong skills)    Well....he just finished his sophomore year of highschool.....as an honor student!!!     He has friends and kids  like him and think he is very entertaining.....he still prefers to be a loner most of the time.     He doesn't  feel the need to be around people all the time and seems quite comfortable either way.    I still know his issues but most people would not notice.      Hang in there!    Seek out the help he needs and don't be discouraged by the negative people!    Surround yourself with positive people....they are more helpful!!    Good luck!    bonnie

hi joe's mum welcome to the board

jordon loves his tape and loorolls too oh and if u stick paper in their as well he is a very happy boy .

I had touble with Takoda at preschool testing he wouldn't coroperate and tested very low. I was digusted because he knew colors, shapes, and letters. It boogles my mind how they expect to get an accrate IQ or school screening test from a child on the spectrum.

BonnieK had excellant ideas for doing your own test. I also tell Takoda shapes and colors of everything and quiz him. He has a much better memory then me.

"Joe builds thing out of ductape and toiletpaper."

Nelle

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