Hi, I'm new to these boards and new to the world of IEP's and the such - and my frustration level is at an all time high. Brief overview - I have an 9 year old son in 3rd grade diagnosed with PDD-NOS, emerging Aspergers and ADHD. He was diagnosed about two years ago through the University of MI Autism Center. We also had him tested locally by a behavioral pediatrician who confirmed the dx and sees us regularly. All this came about due to my sons behavioral and social issues in his first grade classroom. We removed my son from the school midyear and I homeschooled (I have a MA in education) him through second grade. We also put him on Abilify and Stratterra. He also received O.T. during this time. With all this in play we had a different child after a year and a half.
My son began asking to go back to school so he could "be like everyone else." He also was desperately wanting to have friends like his older brother. (The children in our neighborhood refuse to play with him and are quite mean to him because they knew him and his behavior prior to his interventions.) We carefully checked out another school district and got advice from our behavioral ped. I met with the school principal and asst. prior to school to give history, reports and to ensure a smooth tranisition. All seemed well.
Long story short, because my sons is not presenting obvious,classic signs of ASD and because he has been taught some good coping mechanisms (and because his teacher is lacking fundamental knowledge of autism although I have provided her with good info. on aspergers) the school is disregarding his medical diagnosis. They have accepted the ADHD but his teacher is insistant that he is like every other third grader and has insinuated that I am harming my child by labeling him with an ASD. My son is high functioning and is able to "hold things together" during the day. (Prompted by his extreme fear that any of his classmates will know there is something different about him and thus will be treated like the kids in the neighborhood treat him.) However, when he gets home and on 3 occassions before we left the school "meltsdown" because of all the frustration he has kept "in check" all day. It has also been suggested to me that these "meltdown" which they have witnessed after school are MY doing because it "doesn't happen during the school day." They are making me feel like I am an inept parent choosing to create a disability when there is none and forcing a label of austism on him thus harming him for life.
Am I crazy here? I'm not even talking about an educational label which I know is different from medical; I'm just trying to get them to acknowledge his medical diagnosis and respond accordingly. Has anyone else dealt with this? How does one deal with this? The school has stopped just short of calling me a liar. My gut instinct is that this teacher is "dangerous" with her lack of knowledge. My son keeps telling me that she "does not understand how I am feeling in class." and He does not want to be in her class. He comes home stressed and explosive over the situation. What to do?
I attended an autism seminar presented by Jim Ball of NJ last month, and he mentioned a case like your son's which although uncommon, DOES happen. This other child had absolutely NO TROUBLE at school. But on a DAILY basis when he got home he excessively stimmed for an hour or two and had the occasional meltdown. No one believed the mother about her son's diagnosis until, out of her begging him, Dr. Ball observed the child and saw this for himself.
Would you like me to put you in touch with this man who has dedicated his life to helping people with autism? Let me know!
tzoya - I live in Michigan. Thank you.If you post your state, I will post a list of lawyers and advocates in your area who belong to the professional advocate's organization I belong to. They are all specialists in education and are excellently informed. Not all lawyers and advocates are.
I've had this happen to me and my son. He's PDD and ADHD. He also has some dev.mental delays. They have stuck him in a MID class.... MILD INTELLICTUALLY DELAYED and self-contained due to aggressive behavior. I wanted more OT and some sensory intergration. He needs more breaks and a sensory room. My son meltsdown and has rages after he gets home. I've only related it to the transition from school to home. Some people live in this fanasty, OH really HE LOOKS NORMAL--- don't give him the medication and send him to school and I guarantee they will be calling you. I've done that myself not for vengence, but to give my son a break from meds and detox him for a while. I've told them its easier when there is more than one person and they get the more coruptative child who loves school and I get a more challenging behavior. They can play the blame game all they want, but they are not the parent.... I've had them say too---he's always good for me. As for as labeling goes, they chose not to accept it so they don't have to provide extra services and you know as well as I---we did not nor did we want our child to have autism, but they do we just want them to have a productive life. You need to figure out , what you want from them. When you do, set up a new IEP pertaining to some new changes concerning his dx. GET AN ADVOCATE!!! This will help and they do not work for the school system. They work for you. You need to voice record your meetings also. This is legal and you don't have to hide it. GOOD LUCK and let us know how everything went...Joyful - thanks for your reply. I like your suggestion about an advocate...where would I start to find one? Interesting you mention a tape recorder, after my last meeting I thought about that but wasn't sure if I was allowed. I will definitely take this advice. We have not yet had a IEP - coming soon but just for OHIO. They have yet to do a AI eval.
As for the other response - this is not about services. My son really needs few services. This is about accommodations and communication within the classroom that will lessen his stress during the day so he doesn't come home and "explode."
Its like my son said "She (the teacher) just doesn't understand how I am feeling in the class." Its like I tried to explain to them. They can't respond to him like an "average" child - I don't parent him like I parent my older son either. I have to watch my tone and facial expressions, I have to prepare him for transitions and I have to find different ways to motivate. There's a great book that I am now reading called "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. This man really understands these "explosions" and gives really helpful advice on how to advert them - but I can't control what's going on during the day. This is where having a teacher who is willing to take the time and understand is crucial...but if she is approaching and responding and motivating him as if he is a "normal" child, he is going to be as frustrated as heck which is my assessment of why he doesn't want to be in her classroom.
I have thought about removing the medication to let them see for themselves what I saw for the seven years prior to being diagnosed...but that could have devastating emotional and social effects on my son. Besides he's had two reputable dxs - people who saw him without meds - and wrote lengthy, indepth reports on their observations of his behavior. My question is still, WHY am I having to prove what I know and justify his dx? The analogy that I am going to use next time is to ask how they (school) handle a child who is diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. If the child presents no signs of the condition (because the child is on meds) in the classroom, do they disregard the dx, treat the child like everyone else giving treats as rewards, allowing candy and cakes to be consumed at snack, lunch or parties because afterall the child does not appear to be any different from the other children....at best this would be reckless behavior on the part of the school and at worst it could be deadly for a child with diabetes. But isn't this the same attitude being taken with some ASD kids?
How is the school disregarding his ASD diagnosis? Do you mean that they are not providing any services? What are you asking of them that they are not doing? That is such a bizarre situation.
Yep. In Real Estate it's Location, Location, Location.
In Education it's The Teacher, The Teacher, The Teacher.
The Teacher is the one who implements the IEP -- she's "where the rubber meets the road." We don't have the right to request a particular teacher, but we should do everything we can to manipulate our kids into a class with a good one. I have historically pushed for classes that were taught by the best teachers and avoided putting my son in classes with teacher I know wouldn't work. This is tricky, but I mostly have managed it. One years, I couldn't manipulate him away from a teacher I knew would be bad for him (this was Middle School, so all the s. ed. kids got all the s. ed. teachers since they changed classes) and that years was a DISASTER so bad my son ended up on a separate special ed school! (this has turned out to be good, though). So TRY to manipulate things so your children get the best teacher.
REMEMBER THE SCHOOL CAN ONLY DO WHAT YOU AGREE TO. WE NOW DECIDE WHAT IS BEST. 3 YRS. WE TRYED THE TEAMS WAY AND HATED IT. SOME STAFF HATE IEPS CAUSE THEY SAY i CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH ACCOMIDATION CAUSE i WILL HINDER THE OTHERS EDUCATION. i SAY KEEP THE LESSONS STRAIGHT AND TO THE POINT. WHAT WE HATE IS THEIR WANTING US TO WORK AS A TEAM BUT YET WON'T HELP US WITH OUR KIDS FOR AT HOME. THEY BLAIM US PARENTS WHEN OUR KIDS ARE WORSE AT HOME THAN SCHOOL. NOT UNCOMMON.Mom2boys:
Sounds to me like he needs an IEP and you should request for the school to do an assessment so he can get one.
Brent,
As a teacher, I can explain why they won't write things in the IEP that are for home: The IEP is your son's individual EDUCATION plan- meaning that the teachers and service providers are responsible for teaching the skills, observing and measuring progress, and reporting on the goals. The teachers and service providers cannot do this in your home for liability, ethical, and contract reasons. They are accountable for federal law to teach to, observe, and measure your son's progress on the goals, and could face serious legal trouble for writing goals they have no way of teaching, observing and measuring.
What they SHOULD do, is help you with strategies that can improve behaviors or learning at home. However, it is up to you to request this, and up to the school district to support the meeting time needed. If the school district does not support the meeting time (often this is driven by budget) you can hire a private tutor or consultant to work on the home issues with you.
We too are having a similar issue with our almost 9yo in the 3rd grade. She had behavior/meltdowns in k and 1st grade both in school and at home. we worked with the school on compliance and stress management for her, it worked. Then the school closed and we moved so another school. Had problems at home but not in school until this year, they are seeing behaviors now. They started talking about going over respect issues. We said NO, it is stress related, we need to find out what is causing the meltdowns, then work from there. Since she is on high blood pressure meds. and thyroid meds. it is imperative we find the triggers and work thru them. We are lucky to have a Dr. who is working with us, and he said he will help in any way he can - he sugg. may need to put her on anxiety meds. That scared the school, since the stress is raising her blood pressure even with the meds. They are doing observations until our next meeting, end of Nov. then we will see from there. MY ISSUE THOUGH IS WHEN THE BEHAVIOR IS INTERFEREING WITH HW. WE USE A VITAMIN FOR STRESS/ANXIETY. MY ISSUE IS HIM HITTING HIS MOM.IDEA requires states to have parent training and information centers.
Parents are urged to keep in close contact with resources that can provide them with accurate and up-to-date information about their state's special education regulations and procedures. Recommended resources include:
Parent Training and Information Centers. Every state has at least one Parent Training and Information Center (PTI). These centers are a required part of IDEA. Their primary purpose is to provide parents with timely information about special education, including state specific information, so that they may participate effectively in meeting the educational needs of their children. In addition to the PTI, many states also have Community Parent Resource Centers (CPRC) that are designed to serve the needs of low-income parents, parents of children with limited English proficiency and parents with disabilities. Locate your PTI and CPRC here.
Here is the website link
http://www.ncld.org/content/view/902/456086/
Often these places can refer you to other places to get help at home with.
i live in louisianaI haven't had the time to read all the responses, but I wanted to mention that having a diagnosed disability of ANY kind DOES NOT GUARANTEE ELIGIBILITY for IDEA services (special education). For eligibility, you have to show how your child's disability impedes his education. However, "education" is not just academic ability. It includes social, emotional, developmental, behavioral and physical difficulties in ADDITION to academic ones. You can look up the definition of "educational benefit" in IDEA 2004. Or search it on Wrightslaw. The school district cannot deny a full evaluation for your son (IQ, speech, academics, psychological). Any reports you can present at the eligibility meeting can only help. If the IEP Team (of which YOU are a vital part) concludes that your son's disability does not impair him enough to qualify under IDEA, as for a 504 plan. Your son DOES have a recognized disability and, therefore, is eligible for the protections of the Americans with Disabilities Act of which Section 504 is a part (non-discrimination in education for disabled students) He can get modifications and accommodations under that. If you think he has significant deficits in particular areas, request that those areas be tested with standardized testing. You can ask for OT and PT evals and if he is at least one standard deviation below the norm on either of these tests, he can get therapy in school for his deficits. That is true for ANY of the deficits that might show up during testing. Also, if his behavior impedes his access to education, get a Functional Behavioral Assessment as a part of the evaluation process. In order to qualify for special education services, the IEP Team has to see the evidence in the form of test results as well as doctor's reports. IDEA qualification does NOT depend on a medical diagnosis but on proof of a child's not being able to access a free appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment in which he can make progress DUE to his disability.