Help for siblings | Autism PDD
The one positive aspect of this situation is that my children are extremely sensitive to others with problems and that is such a blessing to witness!
Peggy
(It didn't take long for a topic to grab me tonight
I've yet to experience this when dealing with children but i think we've all recieved our fair share from adults, so here's my 2 cents or maybe 5 depending on how long i go on...LOL First your daughters are blessed to not only have a brother with special needs but a mother who looks out for their best interests aswell. We started out when our daughter was young explaining that yes, you're brother is different but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him, rounding up conversations with "hey we're the ( insert last name here)s, we can handle anything" I tell her how lucky he is to have a sister like her and that she's his greatest teacher. I also explianed ( depending on the ages and comprehension skills of your daughters) how thru out time people discriminate against people who are different, because of many reasons ( used slavery and holocaust civil rights as examples) I explain that people who feel this way and take pride in bringing others down are just sad human beings that unfortunately are ignorant, they don't take the time to get to know people who are special or different . I also tell her that injustice and adversity are things that all people face, many people on levels that she'll never be able to understand and that it's people like her , who not only stand up for her family but for people from all walks of life is what made this country what it is today. We talk about random acts of kindness and that the littlest gesture can turn someones day around. when she has days where she can't handle her brothers moods, or strange behavior, we tell her to take time for herself, and we regroup and state that God chose her to be the best big sister to this little guy who needs and loves her so much. as for the school, I would bring it to the teachers attention and depending on how well you know this other students parents, to them as well. A presentation of children with all types of disabilities , including autism is a great idea and would probably be appreciated by the teacher and admin aswell. if all else fails, you can request a meeting between the principal and the other students parents and yourself, most schools have adopted a zero tolerance policy when it comes to bullying and belittling a childs essay or younger sibling would fall under these guidelines. I would take the girls out for a special night and talk openly about how they feel and what would theyu like you to do in helping them. Let them know that you're a family and all in this together and together, you can overcome anything. I have not yet experienced this with the kids, but I have experienced it with ADULTS! The people I work with, actually. I am a waitress and we have one guy that comes in once or twice a week just for coffee. He can talk, but he doesn't. The waitresses are always rude and don't speak to him. They just take him his coffee and water and get his dollar. Then they all whisper in the back about how wierd he is and is he "not all there", etc... I got fed up with it so the other day I just told them, "I sure hope people don't treat my kids like that when they grow up." and, "He always talks to me because I TALK TO HIM." I swear some people need a kick in the patoot! luv, rachelle Hey Nita! Im sorry your girls are having to face this when they are trying to be loving of their brother and to teach others to be accepting of those who have a disability. I agree with trying to talk with the school about this... There are programs they can do with the classes to teach about disabilities and acceptance.... I came across this info.... maybe it might have somehting that will help. http://www.bbbautism.com/siblings_contents.htm Good Luck! I think your girls are doing a wonderful thing trying to educate their peers about their brother and others who are different!
Tammy
Don't know if I can say anything to help, but here are my thoughts, for what they're worth ...
In this politically correct world, I'm amazed that the school/teacher
tolerates any sort of ridicule about a disability. I think maybe
an informal discussion with the teacher informing her of the situation
and your daughter's distress may bring a little attention to the area
and the teacher may be able to intervene. I wouldn't think a
teacher would want to be told what to add to her curriculum, but if
s/he asks for suggestions from you, you could suggest some sort of
forum where all different types of disabilities are discussed and how
even people who are different have something special to share -- not to
just spotlight autism, as this may further exacerbate the issue for
your dd's.
The other side of the coin is to just bear it. I think many of us
have grown up with at least one person in our family (immediate or
extended) who we 'wished were normal.' I think those are very
valid feelings -- frankly, we all wish our autistic children were
NT. The ages of your daughters, as they approach their teenage
years, put them in the position of wanting to conform and 'be like
everyone else' (including their family). It's not easy getting
picked on, but we all were at some point in our lives, and we all
survived. It's the way we handle the teasing that helps to
develop our character. I know it's not what you want to hear ...
wish there was some magic that would make those insensitive kids GROW
UP ... but unfortunately they'll probably get worse before they get
better. In life we all come against people who mock our ideas or
our lifestyles or our morals, but somehow we have to withstand it and
be strong. Maybe now is a good time to teach that to your
daughters.
Best of luck, dear. I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. I know it's tough.
Kellie
I do not have any experience with this, but I will definitely keep you
and your daughters in my thoughts. If nothing else, as adults they will
end up stronger because of this.
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