IEP 101 | Autism PDD
What are you looking for, specifically, besides another teacher? www.wrightslaw.com is really the Bible of spec. ed. Go there frequently. You can search topics. A good one right now would be "advocacy." They give great advice about HOW to advocate for your child, which may be even more important that what to advocate for. BTW -- Call them TODAY and tell them that you will be bringing a tape recorder. They have a right to bring one, too. As long as you've notified them and they've had a chance to locate one, you can record the entire meeting. This keeps people honest. And you won't have to worry about remembering ever single word. You'll HAVE every single word. What state are you in now?OK moms, here I go.....
I posted about the bad situation we had at school. They refused to acknowledge improper behavior on the part of the teacher, and so I refused to send him back to be in her care.
Now they are pretending there is nothing else they have to offer my child except this one classroom, my option was that or move. I initated mediation and suddenly they are in a HUGE hurry to have another IEP and find placement.
The time has come. I didn't learn it in FL because I felt there was nothing there to fight for, here? I am going to have to learn the IEP ropes. I am researching it. I will read all that I can find here, but we are on a time crunch and they are pushing hard. Mason has been out of school for several weeks now.....
Can you offer some ideas as to where I should look or start or need to know in the interest of time efficiency?
I know you guys are a force to be reconed with and I plan to go into the next IEP meeting and blow them away, no more thinking that they have my son's best interests at heart. Time for business....
Thanks!
An old-fashioned tape recorder that records on cassettes will cost you under at radio shack. A digital one will be more around 0 but they actually record well and you can save the recording on your computer. For purposes of keeping everyone honest, the old-fashioned one is fine. If you think you might have to present the transcripts at a hearing, you should probably go for the more high tech one.
BTW -- Going to mediation so soon is really like using a shotgun to kill a fly. I think you might be at risk of getting a reputation as a difficult parent and that will haunt you. Before you take the next step, please search advocacy on www.wrightslaw.com Especially their article on mistakes parents make. If you want to become a good advocate for your child (and that is the ONLY way to truly get him what he needs), learn the state spec. ed. laws and KNOW your child's rights. Hone your negotiating skills. Learn to handle the district. Also, parents can now be charged for the District's lawyer if a hearing officer finds that the parents have brought the hearing frivilously. Mediation is the first step toward going to a hearing. And since last Nov., the party that BRINGS the hearing must do the proving. That means, whatever it is you think you are proving, you'll have to have all the evidence. And there is much more evidence needed to prove the District did something bad than for them to have to prove they are right (which will only now happen if THEY bring the hearing). IMHO, you are jumping the gun in a way you will live to regret. You should probably contact a professional advocate in your area and bring him or her to a normal IEP meeting to represent your child before you think of going to Mediation.
I am in Oregon, and this is a very interesting point as I got an email last night that was a written summary of the last conversation I had by phone. It included SOME of my sentiments, but mostly was completely out of context. They did this with the IEP notes as well and said I was in agreement with them.This is the VERY reason I told them that I felt mediation would be best right now, until I can become more well versed in IEP proceedures and guidelines, I wanted a third party to protect my rights, I think they will behave better and be more reasonable with the mediator there.
They are treating me as a hostile parent, beause I am frustrated. Everthing I say or every pitiful thing they offer that I don't accept is me being unreasonable, but of course, they come just shy of stating that pointedly.
She did tell me she has never had a parent jump to mediation so fast.....I think I must have simply found it faster.
Where do I get a tape recorder, should it be a small one? Aren't they spendy?
Wow. I thought the mediation was simply a third party to help settle communication disputes between parents and the school district. I realize that bringing about a due process or more "legal" proceedings would make me "that parent" but I thought this was a reasonable solution to our current situation. I was advised to take this step by the parent advocacy group. THis gives me even more to think about.
The real truth is I am afraid to go it alone at this point. I am exhausted, stressed and that doesn't make for the best mind set to make such important decisions. Right now I am not sure how we are going to live as I cannot access child care.
Really I am afraid that my inadequate knowledge or state of mind will negatively affect his education. He needs to be in school and I need him to be safe. These two basic needs aren't enough for the school system to meet me in the middle. I will not return him to that other class and I fear saying it is OK to just put him in a life skills class will not be enough of the ABA or sensory he needs.
I just wish it didn't feel like me VS them. I can't understand how we aren't all working TOGETHER to find a REASONABLE solution for Mason.
I am done whining....sorry.
Mason's Mom --- you have taken the right step...you have tried to work it out, you have attempted the meetings. I remember reading about the treatment of your son and I would do the same thing.
Mediation is not due process...it's when an agreement can't be reached inside the normal meetings...but before you sit through hearings. You can and should go through mediation, but unless you are able to learn the laws (or at least enough of them to "make your case") you may want to bring an advocate with you. They know the law...and they are there for Mason and Mason only.
What I got out of your message was that the school is worried. When you say mediation NOW all of a sudden they want to have a team meeting...that's all fine and dandy...you may even want to attempt another meeting with them...just to show you ARE trying to work things out...THEN go through mediation if they can't find either better placement - fully funded - or come up with some policies regarding how a teacher can treat a child....your child.
GOOD LUCK!!! I hope things work out - you're right...everyone should be on the same page...and it's unfortunate that it's a rare occasion.
Always remember, there's a difference between a "trouble parent" and a parent that is looking out for her child. If they want to consider you that...it is NOT your problem. And there will be no repercussions on your child....after all, you'll stay on top of whatever agreements you come to...if he is treated unfairly, make sure your paper trail shows this chain of events.
Also: You can start here - you should also find the "Administrative Code" for your state....much will be the same as IDEA...but relates specifically to your state.
http://www.ode.state.or.us/search/results/?id=40
I was only able to turn up two attorneys listed on the advocacy site I belong to. You might try calling them to see if they know of advocates in your area. Every state is supposed to have a way to supply advocacy advice to parents, so they may be able to point you in that direction, too. I would try to talk to an advocate BEFORE your next meeting with the District. You can postpone the meeting simply by calling them. It would most likely be best to wait until you can go with an advocate.
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I put a call into the director of special programs today after I opened the email she sent the mediation group asking for a better outline of events since the school system has not had a mediation process in the 3 years she has been director.
It may be a bad idea, but I am going to give it one last shot with her. I plan to tell her that I am not trying to cause a black mark on the school district, nor her 'record", but that I feel my concerns were not only not addressed, but my reasonable requests for a suitable situation were denied. If she can give me reason to believe that going to another IEP meeting will benefit my child and I am not going to have to play "word chess" I would love to see the system I had so believed in come through for Mason. I justs don't think they are going to give an inch about the teacher.
Honestly if they won't even admit that what I saw transpire was improper, NOT CRIMINAL, but improper, I am not sure that I can feel like it is a good idea to leave my son anywhere within this school system. An apology and an explanation would have been a great start without it, how do I trust them to not mistreat him every time some school employee has a bad day? I would rather keep him home than risk that. He can't help who he is........
I know, I am too emotional about it. But how do I make myself not be?
I was in touch with the advocacy group for Oregon, there is a hotline.....they are who TOLD me to call the mediation. I specifically asked if this was too much too soon, a few times in fact, they assured me that mediation was a far cry from due process, that mediation was a reasonable way to resolve disputes with an impartial third party.
I understand the process. I also understand that everything I say is taken our of context and turned around, this is why I want the mediation at this point. They always comment in any meeting on how hard this is for me, doing this all alone and having to work nights, I think I am probably visably exhausted. Several of the "supervisors" I have spoken with have all commented on how articulate I am, in surprise. I guess a single mom who works nights woudn't be expected to have a vocabulary. It is insulting.
I want to be taken seriously, but not as much as I want my son to get a decent AND safe education. I would give my left arm not to feel like I was doing this alone, but I am...so I am going to go read now. No one can or will help us but me.
Perhaps the difference is that from what I have read, NY also has much better programs than many states. In fact I will say that for the most part the only parents I have heard compliment the states services are in CA and NY. (and those are obviously not perfect...)
I called yesterday to see if I could get an IEP partner to accompany me to an IEP meeting, if I can have someone who has a better working knowledge of the process than I do at this point, I will try another IEP.
Otherwise, the mediator called me and we are tentatively setting the date for mediation for Oct 13th.
We will see..........I can only do the best I can do right?
[QUOTE=MasonsMom]I can only do the best I can do right?
[/QUOTE]
Absolutely!!! And I'm sure you'll do fine. Again, I think you (and Mason) have every right (and reason) to want and need these meetings and/or mediation.
Please don't feel bad about asking for an advocate OR mediation...it's the process, it is even written into the law as your right.
GOOD LUCK on the 13th!!! I'm pulling for you.
Yes, please let us know how it goes. It is definitely your right according to IDEA to bring with you whomever you want. However, I gather the problem is FINDING someone to come to a normal IEP meeting to represent you or support you. I would investigate exactly how mediation is done in your state. What sort of background do the Mediators have, for example. I have heard (tho I don't know from personal experience) that SOME Mediators don't know a single thing about spec. ed. Hard to believe, but there is a lot in this world that is hard to believe.
I DEFINITELY would never suggest that you or anyone else should feel bad about asking for help. I ask for help. Other people I know ask for help. It would be crazy not to ask for help when it's needed. However, it's very important to make sure whatever it is you do do will have the result you want -- and not any unintended consequences.
I am going to a hearing in a few weeks for someone that I work with out outside of school because of something that happened at school.
It is my understanding that the the mediators from the state dept. (or wherever they come from) in my state DO NOT have backgrounds in special education. I wondered then how that could be so. But you are right anything is possible.
If you've spoken to advocates in Oregon, it's possible that Mediation in Oregon is not considered a step toward Due Process. In NY, you call for a HEaring first and THEN you are offered MEdiation, so Mediation is very serious and many people bring their own lawyers to a Mediation session because, sure as shootin' the District will bring THEIR lawyer (s). If it is customary to call a MEdiation in Oregon simply to clear the air and get issues properly addressed, then you have done the right thing. I would definitely tape record EVERY meeting you have with these folks. Also, every time you have a phone conversation, every time you have a meeting, write to THEM first. Tell THEM in your letter what YOU believe were the conclusions of the meeting. Send this letter certified mail to the chair of the meeting. Phone conversations could possibly be OK to simply send the debriefing by email (but ask for return receipt and keep a hard copy and a computer-saved copy. I know this sounds like war, and it shouldn't be, but the key to keeping EVERYONE honest is Da Evidence.Tzoya - mediation is to KEEP YOU OUT of due process. It's a third-party non-biased person that will allow for communication when things happen MUCH like what Mason's Mom is saying has happened (BTW - "Word Chess" is a PERFECT term - mind if I keep that MMom?)
You WANT mediation - you DO NOT WANT due process (unless of course, mediation fails).
Here's is more on Mediation from Wrightslaw:
http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/ltrs/faqs_mediation.htm
I still think the critical point here is that the school is ACTING when a request for mediation occurred. This means the school KNOWS they have not done all they should have (and basically don't want a 3rd party there to witness it).
Mason's Mom --- if they want to try again --- I honestly can't see the harm in it. Your comments about not wanting the black mark on the school is much how I felt during the meetings...I didn't want to be the trouble-maker, but a definite injustice was occuring...and it needed to be fixed.
If it goes like your game of "word chess" again...then you can just call an end to the meeting and seek mediation at that point. It is your child's right.
I do not think you are being unreasonable in your desire to want safety for your son...I think you can and should pursue this.
And again...I wish you and Mason the very, very best. (I will be checking back to see how things have gone, so please post an update when you have one)
Around here, we have to ask for a Hearing in order to GET Mediation. It is definitely seen as contentious by the school district. I fully agree that it shoudn't be that way, but it is on Long Island. Even bringing an advocate to an IEP meeting is seen as contentious, but not nearly as much as asking for Mediation. Mediation here means meeting at a place other than the school district and dealing with a Mediator. The school ALWAYS brings its lawyer. It is nearly as costly as going to a hearing. So that is partly why it is not seen as a neutral thing by the schools. ANy parent who brings a school to Mediation around here is seen as troublesome. Of course, that shouldn't STOP anyone from doing this (I would TOTALLY call for a Hearing or Mediation if I thought it necessary) but it is a SERIOUS step. And we ALL have to remember that if we, the parents, call for Due Process first, it will be incumbent on us to PROVE the District wrong. And if we call for Due Process frivilously, WE pay for THEIR lawyer. These two things were not true a year ago, but our current US Supreme Court changed that during this past year. Parents have far fewer chances of prevailing in Due Process now and it will COST much more.
If Mediation is not seen this way in anyone else's neck of the woods, go for it. Clearly, Mediation SHOULD be a non-threatening thing, but it's often not seen that way.
I already asked about the truency issue, Mason won't be 7 until Feb so I don't have any concerns on that note. I have worried about what this will mean moving forward if we have problems, but I will drive off of that bridge when I get to it.
Of course I don't want that teacher in that classroom, but I am aware that what I saw wasn't enough to attempt removing her. I never asked for this, I asked for accptable alternative placement. They balked but now are considering other options.
The main focus is still trying to find a way to put him back in the classroom he came from. I told the director yesterday that I didn't know what was reasonble to ask for in this respect. I told her that I asked one of her employees (autism "specialist") for some guidance in what the school district could offer me to make me feel that classroom would be a safe place, she had nothing to offer so I moved forward with mediation. Now we are discussing and exploring those options. I am most concerned with my own ability to interact with this teacher, and I told the director so. I do not feel that the relationship between she and I can be salvaged, as hard as I may try, I dislike her to the bone. This can be a huge road block to a sucessful educational team for my son.
Wray, no offense was taken, I am pretty thick skinned anyway but you said nothing that was offensive. I never stated exactly what I wanted to anyone, except for Mason to be safe. I didn't know what was reasonable to ask for, I was looking for guidance in asking for reasonable, mutually acceptable solutions. This is where I hope we are heading now.
I think you really also need to consult with an lawyer or advocate about the law. Because of this teacher, your son is being denied FAPE (a free and appropriate public education). Someone who really knows the laws in your state might be able to give you advice about your and your son's rights. Given that he has not been in class, you may be entitled to compensatory services. Eventhough it was YOU who removed him, if the class situation was inappropriate and the school has not done anything about it, they may be responsible for making up for their error. I think it would be worth the cost of an hour of a legal professional's time.
I didn't know what was reasonable to ask for, I was looking for guidance in asking for reasonable, mutually acceptable solutions. This is where I hope we are heading now.
I hope that is what finally works out. To be honest, I have never heard of this happening so I don't really know of anything to offer as to what would be appropriate. Just continue to keep up posted and know that you are thought of.
This one does. He has an 18 year child himself with special needs.I forget now how old your son is. If he is at the age of MANDATORY school attendance, send him back to school IMMEDIATELY. If you have him out of school for more than 10 days (this may vary from state to state, but ALL states have truancy laws), the school can (and probably will) call CPS. You will have CPS all over you and you may have to hire a lawyer. Personally, I think the school district purposely tried to keep the mediator from coming by canceling the meeting date. Do not let them trick you into getting into truancy issues so that they can further punish you and, through you, your son. This is SERIOUS. I belong to a lawyer/advocate message board and they've posted that this can and does happen. If your son is below mandatory age, they can't do this. But there may be parents reading this post whose kids are older and might need this info.
Get your boy back into school asap anyway, because a hearing officer will otherwise see you as an uncooperative parent. Put EVERYTHING in writing. Good luck.
Well, the school district can't meet on the 13th which is the only opening the mediator has until later in the month. Mason has already been out of school for 3 weeks. This can't go on.I am struggling with so much more than jsut school, I don't have the energy to keep this up. I spoke with the director of special programs today. For the FIRST time she just talked with me. No dancing around. I didn't bother with careful wording....I haven't the energy. I really felt that she was speaking to me as a person and a concerned parent for the first time.
I told her, I was dissapointed in the school district. That I have tried to wrap my brain around a way to put him back in that classroom, as I know it is the best program for him but explained that my relationship with the teacher is a huge part of this process and I just don't know how that situation can be solved.
I told her I try very hard to seperate my emotions from my reasoning while dealing with this issue and that it is difficult for me. I told her that all I ever wanted was to place him in another program where I could feel like he is safe.
She thanked me for being so frank and said that she never understood me so clearly before. She is certain we can come up with a mutually accpetable solution, and agreed to the points and misgivings that I had. She made no promises, but I really felt that she is going to try.
I hope we can resolve this. I hope that she won't take everything I said today out of context and try to throw back at me. But I spent hours on the phone with state agencies begging for help, some way to be able to work for a living and support us and their answer is for me to surrender him to social services, they have no other answers. By the time I had cried all damn day (i never cry) I just didn't have the capacity to play word chess with the school district.
Here's hoping something works out right.
I do hope something works out for you and your son soon. It's benefiting him at all to not be in school. But I guess you already understand this.
Be sure to document your phone call today. Write down what you said and what she said. Date it. You can never have enough documentation. If you feel that there is the possiblity of her taking things you said out of context, there is no other option.
Do the teachers in your state have what is called tenure? That means that after so many consecutive years with the same school system, a status is acheived that pretty much means job security unless certain acts of commited. I don't recall you stating what you wanted to happen from all this. I am unsure if you want that teacher removed from the classroom or if you just want a different class from your son. It is very unfortunate that you are experiencing this and your son was treated that way. I am in no way saying that I think you don't have valid concerns. I just wanted to give you a heads up that the school system taking action against this teacher as something that is permanet may be totally out of the question. If the teachers in your state do work their way towards tenure, it is next to impossible for a school district to fire them.
In my state, before a teacher can be fired after getting tenure, they have to be formally written up 3 times in one school year. I have never known a teacher to be written up by the principal or the superintendent in all my years of teaching. I just wanted to let you know that there may be nothing that can be done about this situation as far as the teacher goes other than just being repremanded. Realizing that may be the reason why the system is so reluctant in doing something to the teacher may make you look at this in a different way.
Again, I am in no way saying that excuses her actions or that should mean you have to send your son back in that class when you are totally against it. I just wondered if something like tenure might be reason they are stalling on this. Also, if the school admits that they believe something wrong did happen, they would have to take some kind of action against the teacher. More than likely, a school is going to back the teacher given the fact that it's your word against hers.
Again, please understand I am not saying you don't have valid concerns. Your son deserves a safe classroom and you have the right to be able to send him to school without worrying about his safety and well being. I don't think you are being unreasonable. I just know how schools operate and am trying to give you some reasons to think about why they might be stalling. Please don't take any of this the wrong way!! I do hope it works out soon for the sake of your son, and your sanity.
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