Passing through my mind images of tiny cries-tiny hand and tiny feet.........A cough, again, (she'll be OK)Seasons pass a lifetime and a half and words are scarce..........A song she sings though....and the alphabet no sweat..... Then not much if nothing but deep interest in pictoral things with bright colors and vivid lines.......ordinary advancements, potty training, bottle abandonment a breeze.........Time to go away everyday now to learn and grow- They say you should be (OK) we'll find the answer soon... Then one day a light of connection a voiced interest in the trees "Look at all of them Mommy" I felt I'd never seen a tree before and never knew how many there could be...... Then the experts tell me your (not OK) .......But how could this be "she talks to angels" I scream in my head..................Now I see her peers old beyond their years yet still in diapers WHY!?! What did I do I'm sorry !!!!!!!!! And then the words come some only a mother could know (The angels begin to help you translate your thoughts to me, to us, the world).............At first they came in pictures then stories of queens and fairies........Then comment, suggestion and question through school formalities processed on paper and structured enviroments.........Then finally in song the most beautiful notes I have ever heard; of course; they were taught to you by angels
And now I understand she's not OK and never will be just that.......She's not very NoRmAl She will always be a world away but yet still, right next to me looking right through me..............And how could she be "NoRmAl" or just "oK" she sings with angels and when she's done she looks me straight in the eye and says "Sing with me Mommy"