| Author |
|
snoopywoman
Postmaster General
Joined: July 19 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5695
|
| Posted: November 13 2009 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
If anyone is aware of any good books on a grandparent dying or going to heaven etc. I would be very grateful if you would share that here. My dad doesn't have much longer and I have been talking with my ds about the possibility. I have a lot of professional training, but a lot goes out the window when I'm dealing with the possibility of my daddy dying. His decline has been fairly rapid. Even in September, he was getting around (albeit with a walker) and talking/joking etc. He can't walk and today couldn't even talk at all. He is practically catatonic and he has possible renal failure. He is severely dehydrated and was admitted again to the hospital from the nursing home (which he just went to less than a month ago).
Anyway, I know my ds is very sad and I want to make sure I'm handling things right. I'm trying to prepare him now because I just don't know how patient I will be after the fact. I will of course do my best - but I'm trying to plant seeds now.
We talked about when grandpa does go to heaven that he won't be in pain any more and that he will be able to watch over us and possibly even help ds' guardian angel (they are talking about guardian angels in their religion class). And I told him that I want him to pick out at least one thing of Grandpa's that he can keep for the rest of his life to remember him by.
The most amazing thing? Ds was most worried about his sister. He said several times that she was too young to have to go through this. I told him he was right and that I had had the exact same thing happen to me when I was her age - my grandpa died when I was 5. And I told him I thought she was too young too - and that he was too young as well. But that God has plans for all of us and we just need to trust in Him that it is the right thing.
Anyway, if anyone knows of any books that could help I would greatly appreciate your posting about them. I have one or two, but I figured it's best to be prepared. Thanks.
__________________
DS (9 yo) diagnosed with mild PDD-NOS and DD (6 yo) NT - but definitely a challenge!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lovec55
Senior Member
Joined: June 16 2009
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 217
|
| Posted: November 13 2009 at 8:16pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I actually do not know of any books but just wanted to say that my prayers will be with your family and I hope your father will go peacefully and with the least amount of pain possible. How old is your father?
__________________
Sonia Mom to Manny, Aedan and Araceli
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
snoopywoman
Postmaster General
Joined: July 19 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5695
|
| Posted: November 13 2009 at 8:23pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
He is 83 years old - almost 84. In the last year, he has declined very rapidly. Seven months ago, he was still driving, walking around without a walker and laughing/talking/joking. The last few weeks he has not been able to get out of bed without the assistance of two aides, cannot dress himself, can't talk above a whisper, and even has had to start to be fed by someone else. It has been an amazingly rapid decline.
Thanks lovec55. I appreciate any and all prayers. We definitely need them right now!
__________________
DS (9 yo) diagnosed with mild PDD-NOS and DD (6 yo) NT - but definitely a challenge!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Luckyman327
Veteran
Joined: October 25 2006
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1561
|
| Posted: November 13 2009 at 8:43pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I hope that this can help.
My son was 4 when my Father-in-law died. We explained to him that his Pap Pap wasn't feeling good anymore and that he went to Heaven to be with God and the Angels.
We explained how Pap Pap's body wore out, but his spirit is everywhere, just like God. All that he [Our Son] has to do to feel good about Pap Pap is to think good thoughts, and Pap Pap will be right there for you.
My own Dad is 83 and still in decent shape. What you are going through is pretty much inevitable for us, so I wish you Peace, Love, and an easy explaination for your children.
I don't think that you have the time to read a book to find this answer, so hug your kids and let your heart do the thinking.
__________________
Tyler's Dad. Tyler 11-08-2001 PDD/NOS diagnosed 01-21-05, Hyperlexia diagnosis modified 04-01-07
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
RandomKid
Senior Member
Joined: April 09 2009
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1117
|
| Posted: November 13 2009 at 8:58pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Sorry to hear about your dad. I can not say much more than allow your child to take his time to greive. It may not hit rig away or he may fele better by the funeral who knows. http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/somedie.html I believe there was a thread about this I will try to find it.
__________________
Lyssa
15
PDD borderline AS,ADD,OCD and more.
I could wish to be normal and have normal friends but what would be the fun in that?
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
RandomKid
Senior Member
Joined: April 09 2009
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1117
|
| Posted: November 13 2009 at 9:05pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34171&am p;KW=RandomKid
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33430&am p;KW=RandomKid
__________________
Lyssa
15
PDD borderline AS,ADD,OCD and more.
I could wish to be normal and have normal friends but what would be the fun in that?
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
snoopywoman
Postmaster General
Joined: July 19 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5695
|
| Posted: November 13 2009 at 10:18pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks Lyssa - those were some great resources. I didn't have time or energy to search and I greatly appreciate you doing that for me.
I was more interested in children's books on death - sorry I wasn't more clear in my original post. I know I have at least one - but I'm not sure where it is. I need to try to find it first thing tomorrow morning. I will also print out that social story that you posted in the thread that gavinsmom started. Thanks very much for that and everything else.
__________________
DS (9 yo) diagnosed with mild PDD-NOS and DD (6 yo) NT - but definitely a challenge!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
diddy
Newbie
Joined: March 12 2009
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 63
|
| Posted: November 14 2009 at 6:43am | IP Logged
|
|
|
My son is 12 and has lost at least three very close relatives in his short life. We are just honest with him. We let him ask questions. He still does ask questions about these deaths from time to time. I always figured that if he wasn't grieving appropriately or if one of the death impacted him harder than it should, we would get him some therapy. He hasn't needed it yet. Your son might surprise you. One thing you can prepare him for is that Mommy is going to be very sad and upset. Mommy is going to cry. The crying seemed hard for my son.
Prayers for you and your family.
__________________
Bobbie
Mother of Guy, 12 year old with ASD
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
RandomKid
Senior Member
Joined: April 09 2009
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1117
|
| Posted: November 14 2009 at 7:27am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I want to say Mr Rogers has a book movie. I might have it wrong though.
__________________
Lyssa
15
PDD borderline AS,ADD,OCD and more.
I could wish to be normal and have normal friends but what would be the fun in that?
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
positiveautism
Senior Member
Joined: November 25 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 324
|
| Posted: November 14 2009 at 2:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
If Mr. Rogers addressed the topic on one of his shows, you might be able to find it on youtube. I'm not sure, but it might be worth looking into.
Sorry I don't know of any other resources.
Nicole
__________________
Free materials, activities, and resources for parents and teachers ~ www.PositivelyAutism.com
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Active Topics
Memberlist
Search
Help
Register
Login
Autism-PDD Message Boards : ASD Articles/Books/News/TV
Topic: Books on grieving/death?
