Posted: November 07 2009 at 8:32am | IP Logged

Is lack of self confidence a part of autism? What strategies are recommended to increase self confidence.

My son started a skating class several weeks ago. While they were all beginners now he is behind all of them expecting his teachers to help him all the time. Today he almost cried all session. Also at the school I have noticed he is always close to his shadow. It seems he does not believe on his capabilities.

Any comment?

Thanks

Posted: November 07 2009 at 10:01am | IP Logged

My son seems to have the opposite problem.  He thinks that there is nothing he can't do, and doesn't understand his physical or cognitive delays.  It's not that I don't want to encourage him, but I'm worried about him getting hurt or teased by other kids because he doesn't realize his limits. 

He has told me that next year he is going to play football, he has never played football once in his life.  I keep telling him that he will have to try out for the school team, and that he might not make the team to prepare him.  But he keeps talking about it like its a sure thing.  I would be thrilled if he made the team and became a great player, but he doesn't run very fast and takes a long time to catch on to new ideas and rules. 

But to address your question, my son did have difficulty with swimming lessons when he was about your sons age.  Are the instructors aware of his disability?  I always told his instructors to keep it simple and if he looks as if he doesn't understand, he probably doesn't understand, and they should try a different approach.  Do they offer one on one lessons for skating?  I had to do that a couple times with my son and swimming lessons because he just needed that extra attention that the instructor wasn't able to give when they had a class with several students.

Posted: November 07 2009 at 11:24am | IP Logged

There are some DVDs from “model me kids” that are designed to teach self confidence to kids who are autistic.  These might help, and they might not.  The DVDs seem designed, more or less, to teach kids to speak and act confidently.  When a child is learning a new skill, though, all the self-esteem in the world won’t help if he doesn’t have the skill.

Some autistic kids take a longer time to pick up certain physical skills.  Your son might be aware of the trouble he is having, and sensitive to the fact that it is taking him longer.  If so, you might want to ask your son if he wants to practice some time without everyone else watching.  If he says yes, then it might be the other kids he is worried about rather than the ability itself.

Learning with no peers around is not the same as self-confidence, of course, but if a kid knows he is good at something, then the self confidence to try new things might be easier.  If he likes the idea of practicing without everyone watching, then you may have to go down early before the rink gets crowded, or talk to the teacher to see if there is a time he can practice without being watched by peers.

This is just a guess of course, based on my own experience.  I went down to the batting cages and practiced before baseball season.  I still couldn’t hit a fastball, but at least I knew that ahead of time, instead of finding out with everyone watching.