Posted: November 06 2009 at 6:43am | IP Logged

Hi, All. 

I'm new here (I posted a few days ago in the newbie spot).  I'd like to hear from other parents of girls on the spectrum - particularly preteen and teens. 

I am utterly convinced that the issues facing my daughter now are different from those of her male peers.  Unfortunately, in our area, I only know of a few other girls who are PDD-NOS like my daughter, and they are both younger than her. 

Emma participates in a social skills group of young middle schoolers, but they are all boys.  From talking with the parents, I see that the social issues really aren't the same at this age.  Emma is having a lot more problems with peer interaction than she used to (and feeling a lot worse about it), simply because 6th grade girls are chatty - something that is just too hard for Emma (she had much less difficulty in elementary school, when socialising meant playing games, playing with dolls, running around...).

So... any thoughts, any experience is welcomed. 

Also, there is the whole puberty issue.  Emma is ready (at least intellectually), and is quite accepting (even proud) of her body changes.  However, I don't really know how she will handle it when her first period actually starts...  She does have a close older sister (only 14m apart), so I think that she will be okay with that.

Looking forward to chatting with you!

Debbie

Posted: November 06 2009 at 7:39am | IP Logged

Hi, Shelly. 

Your daughter is lucky to have a good friend close by.  Mine had two different best friends during her preschool and elementary school years, but they both moved away.   Other "friends" who have known her for a long time look out for her, but don't actually really include her as an equal.  She's also with other kids this year who aren't "used to " her differences yet (her middle school regroups kids from her elementary school plus two other elementary schools).

Emma is close to puberty, and she's also pretty tall for 11 (5'4" and growing every day!). 

If you think your daughter might want a penpal in France (yes - we live in France , and Emma is Franco-American), let me know (by PM).  It might be nice for both of them!

Debbie

Posted: November 06 2009 at 7:08pm | IP Logged

Just dropping in to say that I'm a girl on the spectrum who has been there, done that with the preteen and teen years.  I actually was the most "normal" from probably 9-13.  Or maybe it's that the other girls were the strangest during those years.   Either way, that's when I had the least amount of social issues.  I had come out of my own little world a little bit and had just learned how to play with other kids, and my one best friend wasn't ready to go find bigger and better things yet, so I was really content for those years. 

Posted: November 07 2009 at 2:40pm | IP Logged

Thanks for posting this, Super .... cause I would hate to be all braced and ... nothing, then things getting complicated later. 

I think my most miserable years were 11 - 13 ... but then I got wild in HS and definitely while  Iwas having fun, things were worse and harder to sort out for me.

Posted: November 09 2009 at 4:38am | IP Logged

toodycat wrote: Although I am the mom of a boy, please let me recommend: Girls Growing Up on the Autism Spectrum : What Parents and Professionals Should Know About the Pre-Teen and Teenage Years by Shana Nichols, Gina Marie Moravcik (With) , Samara Pulver Tetenbaum The authors all work at the center where my son is treated. They seem to have a clue that gender is part of how an ASD manifests itself. You can buy the book at Barnes & Noble.

I do have this book - and it is WONDERFUL !!!  A definite must for any parents of girls on the spectrum!

Debbie